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have you ever heard the saying, secrets secrets are not fun unless you share with everyone?
yea well someone who was out of their mind happy must have wrote that because being the one who keeps all the secrets is so not fun AT ALL
so ok let me start with the whole story
so the last night/today my brother started crying
and hes 16
and so not a loser
he my everything
not that I’m in love with him or anything, but he means the entire world to me
and everytime I think of doing something stupid I think of him
because hes smart
hes talented
and he doesn’t know it, but hes a lot better than me
sure I’m people smart, but I’m never gonna be anything
I’m never gonna be able to get things because of my brains
It’ll be because of my beauty I’m sure
so a lot of people think my brothers werid, and a jerk, and that hes embrassing and uncool
and everytime I hear those words I want to hit something
because they don’t really know my brother
they don’t know how awesome and funny, and how amazing he is
because he is fucking uncool
yes, hes sitting at home crying, saying that he hates himself
these people have called him names so many times that he’s starting to believe them
and I know that no matter how many times I tell him that they aren’t true, that I love him to death, it doesn’t change the image he sees himself as
I love him more than words can describe
I love him more than anything on this earth
And seeing the person you love that much be in such pain because some other kids have nothing else to do but make fun of him kills me
It actually kills me
And it kills me even more that there is nothing I can do
Because I’m popular, but I’m only at junior high
And even when I get into high school, I will do anything I can to help him
But I can’t save him like I wish
And I keep praying that me and him can switch lives, so he can be popular, and happy, and love himself again
Because he is so great
And he doesn’t even know it
He doesn’t relize that I would give anything to help
Even my life
And he doesn’t think hes worth it,
He doesn’t know how cool he is
no one even gives him a chance
and he kept saying that he cared about playing soccer, and that he cared about this girl, and he cared about so much stuff that he could never really be the best at, or have, that it broke him
and then he said that he only hasn’t killed himself yet so that he can hellp other
and I started to completely sob
I told him that he had his whole life ahead of him and killing himself will do nothing
And I started to lose it
I sobbed so much
Because if there was anything,
Anything.
I could do I would
But I can’t.
Theres nothing.
I’ve never felt so worthless before
How can you just stand and watch someone you care so much about suffer
I feel like I’m stupid or dumb because I don’t know what to do
And I can’t stop from sobbing
Because he is all I have
My mom can’t wait for me to leave
My dad doesn’t really love me
My friends just like boys and girls are a bonus
He is all I truly have
And he doesn’t even know it
Because I was crying too much to tell him that I love him and that I would do anything I could to help him
But theres nothing I can do
Nothing at all
And that sucks so much it makes me wanna puke
Or hit something
But all I can do is cry
Loving someone more than words, and when they are all you have,
And watching them in pain
Is a feeling so bad,
I can’t even describe it.
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Posted by shortone3194 on 2008-01-18 12:31:39 | Rating: | Views: 84
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Soul sister is the title I would have to lable you. I don't live with my parents, I am a senior in highschool and boys they'll just be boys. The one person I do have is my older brother. I'm not obsessed, but I love him to death because he would do anything for me and it kills me to know I can't do everything in the world to protect him. I know its hard, I don't know what grade your brother is in, but he needs to know that school truly doesn't matter. I mean the learning is important yes, but the kids your friends after school...see them ten years after you live highschool and then tell me who the looser is. Its not going to be him its going to be the ones that down graded him, because thats all they know so thats all they will become. Killing himself would only take him out of their life and thats what they want. Live higher, be braver and SUCCEED. Because its something none of them will accomplish I promice. Good luck to both of you. I just wanted you to know that I feel your pain and I hear your cry for help. Believe in him and soon I promice he will believe in himself.
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Posted by ccareau
on 2008-01-18 15:36:12
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