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boys are confusing [[read!]]

ok so if you read my last two blog entries then you'd know that i was REALLY mad at a girl named nickey
andwho so now we're friends i guess
which is werid because well, idk its just that i keep telling jes [friend] a bunch of stuff that nickey is saying about skylar
let me start over
enter hottie world ;; skys there. hes really nice too. and hes prefect for jess.
but he was a bad boyfriends to her and he was ovbsessed with other friend named tess and blah, so they broke up
and ppl have been telling me that he thinks i'm totally hott and that he likes my butt and my boobs
eW! has been my response
but i really am kinda happy some boy noticed me
over thanksgiving break, me and this guy named nick texted til 3 every night
and it was werid
so we always kinda flirt and stuff, and along time ago i told tess that i liked him, which was a big thing because i don't tell ppl that cause things like that are bound to get out. but tess is really trustable, and yea.
so we were texting, and its been a rumor going around [[kinda funny actually]] that i sleep naked. so i told him i was going to bed, but not naked and he was like why not naked? and so we got to talking... and o god this is lame
he asked if i would bang him this summer
yea its hard because for the past months i've been telling myself that hes not worth it and hes mean, and that he DOESN"T want me
but was he kidding? i guess i won't ever know the truth or w./e
so anyways we were texting
and i told him i've never madeout with anyone and so then we decided that i would makeout with him friday in the park by the mall.
werid
because in my stomach i felt a pain that i could only describe as my internal instent that he was just wanting to makeout with me, but didn't really like me
and i'm the kinda girl who has to go out with a guy before i make out with a buy
anyways, so we kept talking, and yes o yes, he was making plans of when we could bang this summer and makeout at the mall
werid right
and i kept telling him maybe
and that i was scared, because i heard losing ur virginity hurts, and that he just wanted me because he wanted to have sex, etc. and he would always have a better reason of why i just should and i knew he was pressuring me which was wrong
and one text he wrote : if we do bang, dont become a hoe, cause sex is addicting
and i texted bac asking if i was just one of the girls because he was horny or something like that
and then he said stuff like, no i'm not like that, if i was i'd go for a slut, not a prude, and i've liked u and sutff like that
and its stuff like that that makes me want to kill him and kiss him at the same time
i know
like saying stuff like that SHOULD make me mad
but i also think its kinda sweet
WERID
and then he told me that there was nothing to worry about that he'd kissed 30! girls and that they all thought he was an amazing kisser
wow thanks i wanna hear what the hoes said
WERID
and then one time i told him that i don't do stuff with guys i'm not going out with and he sent the folllowing [and i quote]:
well our datable, but i don't date, and ur defently bangable, and i bang
wth! so we kept talking and he told me about how he went to the mall and would text me later, and honestly its the best and the worst thing that he went to the mall.
because when he got back he told me a story.
that made up my mind the minute i heard it
he said that he met a girl there and they ended up banging in the snow
what a man whore right?
and this whole time he'd been telling me he wanted me
like what an asshole
and the fact that he was bragging to me? like seriously it makes me want him more, really! [not]
so i told him no i didn't want to bang and makeout i want to be friends.
and i told tess this
and then jess
and guess what she did! [jess]
she went and told him that i had told her
and that she'd read my text
and guess what little surprise he layed on her and me
that he was joking the whole time
and now i'm more confused
if thats possible
did he just say that becaue it was jess? or did he mean it? cause his texts were pretty forward on showing he like me
and then blah
and then jess told me that she told him and i couldn't beluieve it and i didn't get that mad at her, or at least show it
but now i know i can't really trust her
so now when i see nick at school he acts the same but its hard for me to
confusion
where did i start with this?
let me go bac and look [[u can too]]
right that i'm not really noticed by guys
so sky anyways
has been talking to nickey and they've been having sex related chats
and he asked her what a windmill is and i feel retarded cause i don't know either, but i will find out [[i'll ask nick since he has so much experience!]]
but i like sky
and he likes nickey and jenna
and jess thinks he likes me
ps jess decided that she likes nick when i told her about my texts
i'm mostly over him
but seriously wayd be a friend
she told nick about the text
and then decides she wants to makeout with him
and that she likes him
way'd be a friend
and i relise that he's not mine but still it took alot for me to tell her, but she may not get that
anyways
i like sky and jess keeps telling me that i should go out with him and that he likes me, because shes 99.5 percent over him and if i went out with him it'd be more
but of course he likes nickey
why do so many boys like nickey?
its sounds snotty, but its not like shes extremly pretty, or nice, or good at the flirting thing
maybe its something only boys can see
whatever it is, idk
anyways SKY
i kinda like him, but he doesn't like me for me
as disney as that sounds
so boys confuse me so much
more than i've ever been confused, because i don't get confused, i and if i do, i learn it so that i'm not
which is why i'm so confused
cause how do u learn boys? their all different and stuff
ug
ui've g2g to next period [[yes sadly this is what i do during study hall mostly]]
but advice please
becasue the people who read this are the only ones who aren't on anyone elses side, because you don't know anyones but my story
so save me
i think i'm going to go...
dream about the ::
sky
=P