The way i have tackled my out-of-control eating in previous projects, has been to go onto those liquid diets of soups and milkshakes with all vitamins and minerals added - and eat nothing else at all.
If one does it properly, as instructed, with no cheating, then masses of weight-loss happens. For example,
i lost 2 stone (28 pounds) in 6 weeks,
and someone else that i know lost 3 stone (42 pounds) in 10 weeks,
and someone that my friend knows, lost 4 and a half stone (50 pounds) in 14 weeks.
Obviously, i didnt address my eating compulsion, and so after a lovely short spell of being a lower weight, when i went through a stressful period, some time afterwards, i put the weight back on (not all, but about a stone of it - i.e. 14 pounds). Then after the break-up of a 5 month long relationship (that i had held high hopes for) i threw myself into work and activities, dropped some weight and then dropped from exhaustion,. And as i rested, in a matter of 3 months i gained it back and more. So that now, i am quite heavy indeed. And very miserable.
So lets go back to the start of it.
When i first found the liquid diet I was ecstatic. - I'd lost 2 stones in 6 weeks. So why then, later didnt i just go back and do that again?
During the course of the last 3 years, after initially losing that 2 stone in 6 weeks by the liquid formular diet, I have done that diet again. I congruently intended to do that diet again and get the same result. But each time i have failed!
Maybe i lasted two weeks,
maybe not even the first day,
sometimes three days.
Then somehow i switched immediately into a binge of a few days or weeks and ended up weighing the same as before i started and, no doubt, my body composition has been a whole lot more unhealthy.
When i do that switching, i eat ridiculous things, you see.
We are talking about a loaf of uncut bread from the deli counter, so it would be one of those delicious fancy breads.
Along with half of about three different blocks of types of cheeses.
Then maybe some potato chips - huge bag -
and perhaps a potato salad, a coleslaw or somthing creamy such as that.
After that has settled, say half hour or an hour or two hours after finishing eating, then cakes,
chocolates,
biscuits
- you name it.
It would be a family sized cake, and i would eat half in one go.
Then during the course of the evening, i would nibble away on the rest of it as snacks,
maybe with some cashew nuts,
and a couple of pastries.
Or, i may go to a take-away,
i love english fish and chips,
and order large chips,
a battered fish
and a potato fritter,
gravy
and a buttered roll.
I'd eat it all!
This sort of behaviour would generally go on for a few days.
Sometimes it would be weeks.
In this last eating phase I havent stopped at all.
So since i started at the beginning of february, and it is now end of April, I just havent stopped. It has been constantly 3 months.
In that time i have gained one and a half stone (well, from 11 stone 5, my lowest weight for about 7 years, up to now almost 13 stone).
I am so pissed off with myself now.
While i was doing it, i didnt feel bothered at all! I knew what i was doing, i knew it was crazy. But i just kept thinking that i would go on the liquid diet and that would correct it. But i just couldnt bring myself to go into deprivation mode. Even if i started, i didnt get past a few hours before i would rush up to the shops.
Sometimes i feel as though something is controlling me.
For example: I may be in a meeting at work and i keep having flashes of the kinds of foods that i gorge come into my mind. I am good at what i do. And i care about doing a good job. So, I didnt want to be not-concentrating on the discussions and problem-solving that we were doing. How I managed it then, was to tell myself that I would have it later. As soon as I did that, then it would stop popping into my mind and distracting me, and i could get on with my work.
Sometimes, as soon as the meeting was over I was able to get out to the shop and get the stuff straight away. Othertimes I had further meetings or I was in a different location and had to drive home. If it was the latter I would drive a reasonable distance away and then pull into the nearest supplier of such goods - usually petrol stations with mini supermarkets (i never like the quality of the cheap foods in corner shops) and buy a couple of packs of sandwhiches, crisps, chocolate or blueberry muffins and then some things to eat once i got home, e.g. breads or cakes or packs of bisciuts.
Isn't it disgusting?
I just sort of tuned out, though.
While i was munching away, i was completely oblivious to any sense of inappropriateness.
There was absolutely no attempt at eating a meal.
No - 
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