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Well, I blogged too soon last night with good news. Almost immediately after I closed my notebook she woke up on the couch and began questioning me about J (my female friend of whom she is jealous and severely insecure). She asked if I'd emailed J and told her of our relationship agreement, which includes limiting the number of times J can contact me per month. This was the therapist's idea, but what the therapist has failed to realize is that this simply plays into the g/f's severe insecurity issue. Because when someone has a deep-seated insecurity based on past events where they felt emotionally harmed, there is no amount of outer security in the insecure persons life that will undo the harm. Thus, here I am, pandering to her insecurity, thanks to the therapist she's seen 2 times. I love therapy; I feel like it has had a huge effect on me and my relationships in a positive way; but a therapist can only help a patient as much as the patient wants to be helped and wants to be brutally honest, not avoiding the real issues. I feel like g/f is misleading or misdirecting the focus of their conversations when they talk. So, anywho, I yelled at g/f last night when she demanded to know everything that J had said in response to my email to her notifying her of the limited conversation. G/f also wanted to confirm that I indeed emailed her the notification (which she knew had occurred, b/c I emailed J as g/f nagged me to do several days before). I told g/f that she already knew that I had emailed J about the issue b/c she made a big stink about it several nights earlier, and I did it when she asked. Then she wanted to know what J's response was and I told her that my personal communications with friends were none of her business. She tried to play it off and say that she just wanted to confirm that I had emailed her. Whatever.
And to make matters worse, G/f's great-grandma just passed away, which muddies the emotional waters. So I look like an a$$ when I yell at her or argue with her, or if I try to get away from her. Sometimes I feel so annoyed with her b/c it seems like she follows me around the house. If I'm in one of the bathrooms, she seems to hang out when I'm inside, sometimes even talking to me! I feel like I have no privacy, and she clings to me in an unhealthy way sometimes. It's nice to feel loved, and I love her, but smothering someone isn't loving them.
Anywho, I'm trapped in the house now. I'm sick, and I can't leave, and of course she's here. Why the f&%# did I decide to move in??
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Posted by shinsfrommars on 2008-01-20 15:56:45 | Rating: | Views: 68
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