Two years before mother died, she slipped into a deep depression. Her health had taken such a drastic turn for the worst, she was no longer able to see well enough to read or get on the internet. She was alone much of the time, and cut off from her hobbies, with children who were busy with their own families, and she felt isolated. It was a shock to me that she tried to commit suicide, but she did.
I have never personally been down the slippery slope of depression, but people I have loved, and still do, go there quite often. I have learned by coping with their depression that sometimes it is not enough to love them, and want them to be well, sometimes no matter what you do, they will walk that long, slow walk into the depths of the deep dark hole called depression. I have learned that the long slow walk in, pales in comparison to the long, difficult climb back out.
I have learned that when they are in that deep hole, all of my love cannot pull them back out again, so I must go sit beside the hole, dangling my feet ever so gingerly over the side, and wait. Oh I might bring my small lantern, a beacon of light to shine down upon them, perhaps carrying with me kind words and ice water, but still I must wait, until they are ready to receive them. Some days I might switch it up, bringing hot cocoa and warm blankets, laying down by the hole, straining my ears for the slightest muffled sound of their tears. I have learned that though I can hear and certainly feel the pain of the tears they shed, I am helpless to dry them, or to stop their flow.
I have learned that if I am patient and sit by waiting until they are ready, some day my little lantern will shine upon their hand as they reach it up to me. I can then grasp it, but it is important for me not to pull them up, but to let them use their own strength to pull themselves up and gain solid ground with their own feet. Once up and out of the hole, we can walk quietly away, putting distance between us, but being ever aware that the hole is still there.
I have learned that though I want to take a piece of my heart and patch up all of their broken places, fixing every little unnecessary tear, that they are in charge of their own healing. While my heart can feel their pain, I am powerless to stop it. I have learned that sitting by quietly, hands on knees, mouth shut, eyes and ears open leaning slightly towards them is my best stance. In that stance they can sense my love, and lean towards me to recieve it.
Of all the things I can not do, this one pains me the most. Nothing is harder than watching people you love spiral downward, and having no life line to throw them. I have learned that it is my place to stand quietly by, and wait for them to come to me. Then and only then, can I be of any help.
My friends I hope today that if you are in that deep dark hole of depression, you look up for that beacon of light that shines down, to light your way back out again. No man is an island, and your pain is surely someone else's pain also. If you can stay away from that dark hole of depression, and reach for someone to steady you, do that. Focus on today and be positive. We all struggle, and there are people in your life who love you, just for you.
***On a related note, the other night I saw a very interesting scientific study being performed on PBS. The study was about how our minds connect with one another, even if we are not in the same room, or even aware that the other person is sending us healing vibes. A man was in an isolation chamber, hooked to all kinds of wires to measure his physical responses. He was alone in the dark, and his only job was to look at a t.v. screen. In the screen was a camera. The other person was a woman, in a totally different area of the building, she did not know the subject (man). Her job was to think kind thoughts and send good energy towards him, when his picture was flashed up on her t.v. screen. The scientist flashed his picture randomly and she sent the kind vibes his way. The man was unaware of what they were measuring or when the woman was seeing his picture. Believe it or not, he picked up on her healing/kind vibes and showed a physical response. While this proves that our minds can be connected, even miles apart, it doesn't prove how. I like to think that this phenomena will help us sustain one another, in times of trouble.
So folks, the next time you ask for healing vibes and or prayers, be prepared they will be heading your way. Chances are you will feel them and have some feeling of warmth and love. How else could we explain the caring feelings we all share here on thoughts, with people we are not likely to ever meet face to face. Think about it.
Today is Tuesday and it is raining. I shall have a full house, with lots of laughter and fun around me. I hope your day is good and that you take care of you. Should you need to lean on me, let me know. I am strong and I will let you lean, I will be your beacon of light.
peace and love :D shemelts
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