In most families when it comes time to divvy up belongings and finances of our deceased, money divides us. Though Pap is not deceased, he has been resigned to live out his life in a nursing home. His two sons have been given the task of dividing up his estate between them and the grandchildren. The estate is not worth much monetarily, but the belongings hold a lot of meaning for certain members of the family.
R.J. was practically raised in their home, and has a lot of memories of being with his grandparents. He was constantly surrounded by their love and certain things hold a lot of sentimental value for him. One thing he really wanted from their home was his grandmother's hand sewn quilts. Many hours she sat with him, while he watched t.v. with his grandfather, and quilted. When we married she gave us a quilt as a gift, we slept under it for the first years of our marriage. He was given a patch boy quilt on his first birthday, and he still has that one.
Sunday we were able to retrieve 3 quilts from their home, and I was happy with that. Along with the quilts we packed up his grandmother's antique china cabinet and all the cream pitchers, stoneware from inside. We did this under the watchful eye of his Uncle D, who acted as if we were petty thieves come to still the gold. During the packing of the items, D announced that Pap had given his daughter some of the larger/older items in the cabinet. I informed D that Mary had given me the cabinet and its contents 20 years earlier, and it all belonged to me, not Pap. R.J. however, did not want to go against what Pap might have said, and gave them 2 of the larger items.
Last night, R.J. took Pap his supper and asked him about the items in the china cabinet. Of course he had said no such thing, and informed R.J. that he should go retrieve those two items and anything else he wanted from the house. After all, R.J. has been taking care of Pap every night for a year, some of these people have not even been to visit him. So of course R.J. left the nursing home, used his key to get in and retrieved said items, plus 3 more quilts. He did not want anything else from the house.
I am bracing myself for a family fight. I'm sure the only reason D wants the items is to sell them, as he made the statement that some of the items were worth a lot of money. I told him at the time I was packing the items, I had no intention of selling any of them, I wanted them because Mary treasured them, and would pass them along through the family.
D's daughter H is moving back home from Illinois and they have decided to let her live in Pap's house (unbeknownst to Pap). R.J. asked him if he had been asked if it was okay for H to live there, after all he owns it, he is not dead. He said he was not informed or asked about the house. His plan was for the house to be sold and divided between the sons. Oh well!
It is funny to me what money will do to people. First of all D has power of attorney and control of the money Pap has in the bank. He has already spent a large portion of it, on who knows what. R.J. did get him to preplan/prepay for Pap's funeral, so that is good. R.J. doesn't want any money or anything else to do with the situation. He will however stand on someone's throat if they try to take what is rightfully his. What a mess, huh?
I've never been taken with money, never had a lot of money to be worried about. As long as I have people that I love and people that love me, I consider myself rich. Money can be a powerful divider, and though these people have never been close knit, it would be a shame to part ways over a little bit of money. R.J. will continue to take care of Pap all the rest of his days, and the chips will fall where they may.
Happy Tuesday peeps. Hope all is well in your world. It is raining here today, yet again. The leaves are in full color and it is a beautiful world we live in. Go out and be blessed, and by all means be a blessing.
peace and love and all :) shemelts
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