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Last night we get a call from Sunshine..she needs an original copy of her birth certificate to accept a job at the college to try to help out financially. Would I mind meeting her halfway with one. Not a bad idea..25 miles for each of us each way. Asked hubby..and he suggests maybe just going all the way to the college, picking her up and having dinner so she can catch us up on what is happening per the roommate. Sunshine is fine with this idea, of course.
After work we jump in our minivan..and put 100 more miles on it..yuck. He said something that annoyed me before we got to the first red light in our city. So..you guessed it ..we rode in silence the next hour..I listened to the radio..which is one of my favorite things anyway. The new song by Journey..After All These Years came on. I love Journey..and this new song is beautiful..Yikes..It just made me sad..We are in fact two stubborn souls..after the last 3 months we have had, I am ready to throw my hands up and run for the mountains. That would just be a two hour drive..and so relaxing. hmm
We arrive to pick up my daughter. Who is standing outside..her adult room advisor..The one I have spoken to on both trips up there this week. I am sure he thought ..My God..You have to be kidding.Your here again...Ha!! I rolled the window down and informed him we were giving her a birth certificate for employment. Thanked him for his help with the roommate situation and joked about the fire alarm/evacuation. She came bouncing out and jumped in the van/ helicopter...ha!
We went to O Charley's.. I ordered a bowl of soup..and we ordered the shrimp dip appetizer (Sunshine's favorite). Hubby ordered a grilled chicken salad. Easy order..nothing that had to be cooked in a major way..or so we thought. We are tired and it is 6:30 by now. We really enjoyed talking to Sunshine.. She is so vibrant and full of life..and her tales from the college are so entertaining. Our waiter was a nice young college student..who apologized all night profusely..yep you got it..It was after 8 oclock before our food arrived.. The manager came over and apologized..in our kind way of handling most things we told her..no problem..maybe your night will get better..blah blah blah. She comped our entire meal. We left the young waiter a 10.00 tip..It was not his fault the kitchen was so slow.
We dropped Sunshine off at the college..The tension between us eased somewhat..He said another stupid thing..annoyed me and we had another hour drive home in silence. Ha! We are walking in opposite directions at this point. Maybe we are just tired and every little thing is annoying..I don't know..I know one thing..I am tired of it. Nothing bothers me more than riding for hours in a vehicle with someone who is not talking to you. YUCK!!
About the helicopter parenting..I do not want to be a helicopter parent. This last week I have traveled 300 miles to meet the needs of my daughter. Normally I would have talked her through working out these problems on her own. Sometimes though, even if they are 20 years old, you have to step in and use your adult wisdom to help them out. This was one such case. I told her last night..we will not be coming back up here until October 28th..when we are scheduled to see the RedState Update Guys there. I will try to help her over the phone, through email or texting. This is the year I push my daughter from the nest. (if you are reading this Sunshine..remember to flap your wings hard and steady..you can fly..I know you can..Ha!!). This running to the college for every little thing was not in my plan. Life does that to you though..can't plan a thing.
Have a great Thursday everyone!
peace :) shemelts
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Posted by shemelts on 2008-08-28 07:02:16 | Rating: | Views: 78
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It does seem like once we are annoyed with our spouse every little thing sets us off. We wouldn't do that to other people, but have no problem being like that with them...guess it's that feeling safe thing.
Good idea letting your daugther figure things out for herself....it is hard to cut the strings, but at some point, it is time.
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Posted by slowtolearn
on 2008-08-28 07:10:59
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You seem like such a wondeful mum. You sound like you know when to stand back.... and when to swoop in with a saving gesture. I hope I can follow your example as my own children grow up.
Oh, and that tension stuff stinks, doesn't it! :) xo
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Posted by Kaybee
on 2008-08-28 07:34:23
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Yay mom! You saved the day. I hope you and your hubby can work out whatever is going on between you!
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Posted by KarKar
on 2008-08-28 11:44:50
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It seems to me, looking from afar, that you and your husband are going through one of those times we all go through, when you just can't travel the road together. It will all come together, I promise, and you will find common ground. I guess you are both dealing with Sunshine's departure in different ways. For you it's teaching your little bird to fly the nest and quite rightly so. For him it's maybe a little different. B and I are trying to get used to a life where we share a home - all day every day - so I sort of understand where you are coming from. As to Sunshine - the best thing you can give any child is total independence through unconditional love and you have done that. Completely. Good luck!
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Posted by overthehillandfar...
on 2008-08-29 03:20:08
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STL..you are absolutely right..once things go bad they go south fast. It is hard to turn the ship around and get in the right direction. Oh well! This too shall pass.
Kaybee..Thank you for your kind words. Yes it is hard to decide when to come to the rescue without handicapping them in the future. You will do fine with your children also.
KarKar...Thank you for your support. All will be well again. :D
OTH..Yeah a little time apart would be helpful..we always seem to see things more clearly when we have time apart. We are both ready to let her try her wings..you just have those moments of questioning yourself on whether she truly needs you at the moment or not. We are ready for her total independence..and will always give her unconditional love. Thank you for your kind words.
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Posted by shemelts
on 2008-08-29 08:40:29
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I feel your pain and confusion and frustration
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Posted by roe
on 2008-09-03 07:04:13
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