Dearest Sunshine,
Today is a special day for both of us. For you it marks the beginning of another year in your life, your senior year in college...good times. For me it marks the day 22 years ago that I met you for the first time. Of all the gifts and blessings I have been given, you are my favorite. You have brought so much joy to my life, more than you could ever imagine.
From the moment you were born, I felt blessed to be in your presence. From the feedings in the wee hours of the morning, to taking you to kindergarten, to high school and then to college, it has all been an adventure for me. I knew you were special when I looked into your beautiful blue eyes. You looked back at me with the wisdom of the ages, shining in the depths of blue. When you started talking at 9 months, reading at 4, and giving us your philosophy on life at 5, I knew you were a gift.
Everything about you amazes me, and I think you realize that. You have grown into a beautiful young woman who can hold her own on any subject. You walk gracefully into a room, with a commanding stance fit for royalty. I never realized what having a daughter would mean to me, but now I do. Should you have any doubt, I love you more than anything in the world.
I suppose I made my mistakes when you were younger, and believe you me, I will continue to make mistakes. Nothing about parenting is easy, especially when the child is obviously an old soul, and smarter than you are. I know that there are things I should apologize for, so right here on this forum in front of all these people, let me do just that.
I am sorry for the time I opened the door on your toe. It hurt you, which hurt me. Of course I didn't mean to, but that does not lessen the blow. I am so sorry I hurt you.
I am sorry for the time that I blamed you for sitting a glass of milk on my dresser, which I spilled. I'm still thinking you own half that responsibility, but I'll take a bow and apologize anyways...since you are still holding it over my head. :)
I am sorry I left you standing in the rain after your LSAT, in downtown Chattanooga, whilst I tried to maneuver the streets. It couldn't be helped, but I'm sure I looked like the blooming idiot that I am sometimes. So I am sorry you were soaked and I felt so bad about that. Sorry :(
Hmmm....Can't think of any more. Whatever else I did that hurt you, or made you feel in any way less than you are to me, I am sorry. (that covers everything you know).
If I could give you advice on being a woman, a good person, and a fine example of the human spirit, I would say these things:
Always think before you speak. Oh that I could take back some of the words I have spoken. I can not. Remember your words hold the key to all relationships. Some of them will be remembered for the rest of the listeners life, so be kind and thoughtful when talking to people. A double edged sword is what words are, and since you have such a good command of the english language, you should be more careful than most.
Treat people the way you would like to be treated. Be on time, and present in the moment. Give your companion all of your attention. Be honest with them and yourself. If you aren't feeling it, then just be honest. Good intentions are nice, but they don't replace honesty. Honesty is the key to integrity. If you have to apologize for the same behavior more than once, you need to do a self check, because obviously you are on the wrong path.
Don't be afraid to love. Step out there and grab the brass ring. Follow your instincts and your heart, but don't close yourself off to all the options. Noone is happy alone, people need people, so go for it. Relationships are confusing, this is true for all people, from the kings and queens to the paupers. No matter who you are, you will struggle with relationships. Believe me, there is more joy than sorrow, so don't hold back.
If you find something you want to buy, buy it then. Don't contemplate it and think you will come back another day, IT WONT BE THERE! Just buy it. Remember the difference between a want and a need. Take care of yourself first, you are no good to anyone, unless you take care of you. As women we are usually the caretakers, and we put everyone else first..well that stinks and it doesn't work. So by all means, take care of your mental and physical health first, then you will have the energy to take care of those around you.
Remember to be a blessing in other people's lives. The smallest gesture can mean so much. Drop off those cookies, make that call, hold that hand. Be there for other people, and they will reciprocate. Don't judge others harshly, look at the situation from their point of view. When in doubt, just close your mouth and listen. You cannot learn anything with your mouth open, so close it and listen.
On the days when you would rather turn over and cover your head, forgetting the days appointments, Get up..and show up. On any given day, things can go from good to bad, happens to everybody. We can't always help what happens to us, but we can be in control of how we respond to what happens. So chin up, chest out and keep moving forward. Tomorrow is another day, so just get through each day and then sleep on it. All days won't be bad, but some days will.
Last but not least, remember where you came from. You were conceived in love, and you will always be loved. I would do anything for you..anything at all. NO matter what circumstance you find yourself in, you will always have me. I will be your guiding light in the storm, if you need one. Lean on me when you are not strong, I will lend you some of my strength. Should you need an ear, a shoulder or strong arms to help you dig that hole (okay I was kidding about the hole), I will be that for you. I love you so much Sweetie. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Enjoy your party! Oh did I mention how proud I am of you, yea that too. :D
I LOVE YOU SUNSHINE!! <3
peace and love to you today :) shemelts
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