shemeltsurn:uuid:b3912e55-847b-f617-5bcc-6d9820ec9b572008-12-02T09:59:35-05:00shemeltsThis One and That One...urn:uuid:d6501ad9-ec3f-d0ec-6901-5817256f682b2008-12-02T09:08:16-05:00I had a new experience yesterday and I thought I would share it with you. I have a new set of twins who started in the daycare yesterday...scrumptiously sweet little girl and boy. We shall call them.....This One (girl) and That One (boy)...just for the record. Now, having twins is not an unusual thing for me, I have had several sets in my time. It is their family unit that is unusual..and thus the new experience. I want to tread lightly here as to not ruffle feathers.....bear with me.
Mom is a lesbian and has a partner...mom was artificially inseminated to have these little red headed miracles and is their biological mother. I met her partner yesterday and both women are sweet, good people. They both brought them in and dropped them off, hugging and kissing...and thankfully not too many tears, though That One fretted a little. The children are well rounded, well behaved and adjusted easily to the schedule. It is apparent that they are loved and well taken care of.
I normally teach the children that families come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes there is a dad and mom, sometimes only mom, sometimes only dad and even sometimes only grandparents. Families are made of love and not related to gender or age. As long as there is love in the family unit, it is a family. As long as there are people taking care of each other's needs, it is a family.
I am unsure how this will play out in the coming days as I try to teach the children about this family. When talk turns to daddy's, and it will. I'm not sure what to tell the little children about the daddy....and it will come up. I am unsure how I will approach this with 2 and 3 year olds. I will most probably tell them that their daddy doesn't live with them....this is true for a lot of children...and is not unusual. I know that children are observant and it won't be long until one of them realizes that these children have 2 mommys and start to question it.
This is going to be an interesting year in the daycare. I am sure that I will find some children's literature about this specific family unit...and we will read it. I am also sure that some parent will have a small heart attack about what I say about this family unit...being okay. I would like to think that adults could be accepting of everyone....but in our society....it just ain't so. We live in the bible belt (which should teach acceptance, however it is just the opposite) and I am sure I can name at least two parents who are going to freak out.
As the keeper of the gate for these little children, it is important for me to teach them acceptance, compassion and love for their fellowman. It is important that we instill in the next generation...that love is the important part of the equation and not gender or age. Afterall, I don't intend to teach them that these women are lovers, just that they love each other and their babies. I don't discuss the love lives of the other parents...so why would I discuss theirs??
I am most certain that somewhere in the childcare field there is knowledge to be had on how to deal with this situation. Books are probably written on this very subject and as the professional person that I am...I will begin to study up on it. Please pray for wisdom on how to deal with this unique situation I have found myself in. I am sure that I will find a way to handle it delicately in an age appropriate manner with the children. The parents are a different story all together. YIKES!!!
On a final note...Yesterday at pick up time...That One started asking for mom B saying she was his and that mom A belonged to This One. He repeated this over and over. When both moms arrived I said.."wow, this little boy knows he belongs to you and that she belongs to her"...and mom B said..."he has always said that". I said..."Well that works for me, one mommy for each of them".....mom A said..."it works for us too"..
Enough said.
peace :) shemelts
]]>Senses...Which one could you give up????..urn:uuid:d9669d98-94c7-9195-1a0a-934698cb4c382008-12-01T10:34:27-05:00So, on Thanksgiving day, my younger brother came over to fix my computer to give me back sound. Folks, I was without sound on that computer for a week. Let me just say that I love music playing while I work on the computer. As of late I have been listening to VH1's top 20 while I input data for the daycare. Well I missed that last week.
Which brings me to my question...which sense could you give up?? For me this question is easy..We have 5 (we actually have more...but the 5 we are the most familiar with: sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell.
Let us look more closely at our choices.
Sight....most important in my opinion is the ability to see. Facial expressions, body language, a first smile, a tear, a last smile...and that is just with other humans. Then there is snow, rain, flowers, mountains, trees, waterfalls, the ocean....so many beautiful things in our life to see....sight is important. The ability to read and drive are both important to me. Mom lost that ability for 2 years and it sunk her into a depression that she could not get out of....she lost her sense of independence..a feeling I do not want to experience. Sight is something I could not give up.
Hearing...next important to me is hearing. I love music...music can take me back to specific events in my life..the music that was playing when my father died, the music that was playing when I got the call that my baby neice was not breathing..and would later die. Songs I danced to at 8th grade prom, the song my husband dedicated to me on our local radio station while we were dating (much to my parents chagrin..can't blame them cause it was Love to Lay You Down by Conway Twitty OMG)..our song which was Babe by Styx. The song that was playing the first time R.J. and I had sex..yep..I remember back that far..Ha!! Besides music, there are so many sounds... the tinkle of childrens laughter, soft whispers of love in your ear, a sigh, a baby's first cry, and first words. ..sweet and tender are the sounds that surround us in our every day life. No I could not give up sound.
Touch...next of importance to me would be touch. I am a very sensitive person. Intuned with my body am I. The sensation of a lover's touch anywhere on your body is something I would never want to give up. The feel of a newborn snuggled up to your chest sleeping, a small hand grasping yours as they learn to walk. That same small hand in yours years later as you lead them into the school for the first time. In just the blink of an eye, that little hand has grown and you hold it as she steps out in her first prom dress, his as he gets on his bike for his first bike race. Holding your parents hands as they slowly slip away from you forever. No, I could not give up touch.
Taste...then we come to taste..hmmm so many things are in my memory bank regarding taste. I remember eating meals that were so exquisite. The taste of candy, chocolate, sweet unnecessary foods that make you feel good and take you back in time to your earliest experiences with those foods. Taste though encompasses so much more than food. The taste of that first kiss, when you were so nervous you thought you might actually throw up on the unsuspecting guy. The taste of salty tears as you cry for joy at the sight of your newborn...Yes, taste is a good thing...but I could give it up.
Smell....now smell for me is very imortant. I have a huge sense of smell. I also have a good memory bank of smells, mostly good, but some bad. The smell of newly mown hay..has a huge significance for me. There is this smell after it rains, and the smell of a fire in a fireplace..both are great smells. The smell of food cooking can take me back in time, faster than anything.
The smell of baby lotion on a new baby...clean sheets, and good smelling body lotions. I like the smell of a clean man...and there is a lysol that I associate with sex...because it was around when I had sex. Of course I keep this particular lysol around and smile when I spray it. Yes smell is important to me...I guess I would be reluctant to give it up.
To sum it up...I think I take my senses for granted. Just for today I am going to be present in the moment and notice more closely the world around me. I will breathe it in and listen more closely, touch the people I love and enjoy the taste of my food more. Right now I am listening to the sound of children's laughter as they enjoy free play time.
So I would give up taste...
Which sense could you give up and why???
peace :) shemelts
]]>We Had One of Those Before...A quickie...urn:uuid:060230ae-83b0-25a8-e4ee-b3a0245d270f2008-11-30T13:19:48-05:00For several months now the daycare has had two openings. The economy is slow in our area...lot of layoffs and I am assuming, a lot of underground (unlicensed) daycares have popped up. Because they don't have the overhead...licensing fees, insurance etc....they can charge less.
Anywho, last week I got a call for a set of twins..who's mom I have known for several years. She was waiting for them to get old enough to come to my daycare (2). Finally they have reached the magical age and she called for an interview.
Tuesday, she walks in with two tiny, and I mean tiny, little people. A girl we'll call M and a boy we'll call H, bright orange hair...and cute as little buttons.
One of the children C who is 3, took one look at them and announced.."We had one of them before, we called him Eli"!! ...he said this as if they were aliens....ha! The mom looked at me with a quizzical look. I smiled and said Eli was red headed. :D The simplicity of children. Gotta love em!!
peace :) shemelts
]]>Christmas Shoppingurn:uuid:dcb845a6-dfb2-75fb-e6dc-e5e309915fad2008-11-29T15:16:27-05:00Last night about 5, I headed to Walmart. Thankfully the crowd had died down and my greeter was safe behind her little podium. Over the years R.J. and I have fallen in love with this Walmart greeter named Bill. Bill is a veteran and is in a wheelchair due to some recent illness that took some of his stamina away. I give Bill a huge hug everytime he greets me at Walmart and R.J. shakes his hand. He must be the friendliest guy I have ever met....and to tell you the truth, I don't even know his last name. He wasn't there last night, so I just said "hello" to the nice lady that replaced him.
I found a few items on my shopping list and found a few things that were not. Such as movies..they had movies marked down to $2.00 and I bought several. I brought home, Cinderella Man, March of the Penguins and About a Boy. I ran into one of the parents with their little daughter, from the daycare. K looked at me as if I had 3 hands...It always surprises children to find out I actually leave the daycare. I mean think about it...I m there when they arrive and there when they leave...so it is not unusual for them to think I never leave....and sometimes it feels like I don't.
Around 7, R.J. and i hit the mall. Not crowded at all for Black Friday. Of course this is late in the date and maybe they were all napping at home by then. We hit up American Eagle where we were greeted with a 25% off card. Nice..Got what we were looking for and scrammed.
We then made it over to Books a Million to find a book that weighed half what I do. No joke..thats a lot of words.
We then topped off our night with a big chocolate shake from Dairy Queen...yikes..can we say over stuffed.
All in all we made a good chunk in our shopping. We decorated the tree on Thanksgiving night, so I put the gifts under the tree in their boxes. R.J. is anxious to get everything bought wrapped and under the tree. He is so funny at Christmas, he gets so excited about spreading the joy.
Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas at my house. ....Wheeee!!!
Take that Marco and blogger. :D Love you guys :D
peace :) shemelts
]]>Black Friday and I Wonder....urn:uuid:b6ac7bb4-d629-066a-47ff-deda6a4362982008-11-28T12:57:46-05:00Today is Black Friday and I am wondering.....how black it will be for retailers. Take me for instance....I did not get up and do my usual jaunt to town to join the mad rush that will fight for the bargains. As a matter of fact, I just don't feel the need to get out and shop. R.J. wanted to get up at the crack of dawn, actually before and head out. Me, I wanted to snuggle down, wrapped up in his warmth, totally forgetting that the economy needs me. I won....we stayed in bed.....perhaps too late. Sorry about that economy.
This year, more than any other year, I feel the need to conserve. I don't think there is any need to rush out and buy a thousand dollars worth of STUFF for our children, whether they need/want it or not.(this being our norm). More than ever, I feel afraid to waste money on frivolous gifts that yes, might bring them joy.....but also put us on a less stronger ground in the coming year.
We have the big WHAT IF's floating around our heads. What if R.J. loses his job?? His plant is laying off and have given the heads up that it won't be according to seniority. That means folks, that R.J. could be on the chopping block...voted off the island per se, from his secure job. This would throw us into a tailspin, that we have never experienced. YIKES!!
How do you overcome that big IF and waste money like there is no tomorrow?? How do you reconcile buying anything but necessities?? How do I overcome this feeling of doom that rests silently in the back of my head....chanting quietly.....be careful....don't do it.
R.J. has always been the cautious one. Careful of every penny that we ever earned. Me, I've always been easy going when it comes to money. Having the attitude that it will always work out somehow.....come what may...we will find a way. Don't get me wrong, I don't waste money...don't make spur of the moment purchases. If he wanted something, I always said..Go for it..it will work out. Our rolls have switched and he is now chanting...Do it!! Do it!! Ha! Seriously folks, he wants to make the list, check it zilch and run out and make those purchases. YIKES!!
The purchases would all be made with cash of course...we have the money. However, WHAT IF we need it next year?? This is a huge change for me...but this economy has me scared. The lay offs in our area alone is staggering. The thought of losing his paycheck....to go down to unemployment is sickening. I am sure we could make it, but I am not in the mood to find out. This has put me in a funk...in a big way. YUCK!!
R.J. has gone to help my brother dig out his septic tank...God love him..he is so helpful to others. Before he left, he gave me $450.00 and said Go Shopping!! Well folks, here I sit and I don't care to leave my warm, comfy living room and fight the masses. I don't want to spend this money. Even though I know I have $1000 in savings put away for Christmas....it seems sacriligious to be spending money right now.
Oh well!! I think I shall just sit here and read blogs and talk to friends and relax. Shopping can wait..maybe I"ll feel better if he is with me to spend the money. Almost like it won't be all my fault, should we fall off the proverbial cliff next year.
I want you all to know that I realize this is crazy that I am blogging about spending money that I have, when I know there are people who don't have any. I apologize if I seem selfish, but I am concerned....and I am using this blog to sort it all out. Oh Well!! it will all be okay.
Have a great Friday. I hope wherever you are that you are in the black and that you remain that way. God Bless all of you...and God Bless this country. Somethings gotta give.
peace :) shemelts
]]>Happy Thanksgiving Peeps.....urn:uuid:5f49b6e1-4586-e883-9079-cb59e7146dfe2008-11-27T14:24:31-05:00HAPPY THANKSGIVING...Wow!!! I am sooooo full. R.J. cooked the most awesome meal....I was the gopher. You know the one who got out the butter, the cheese, the paper towels. The food was so delicious.
Years ago, my mom gave us a recipe box with all of her special recipes for the Thanksgiving dinner, and R.J. followed those. Guess what?? It tasted just like hers. Charlie Brown built a roaring fire in the fireplace. Sunshine brought her beautiful self to the dinner. It was truly enjoyable.
At this moment, R.J. and Charlie Brown are outside shooting guns, and Sunshine is criticizing my post. She keeps telling me that periods don't need friends..........guess what Sunshine?? I like periods and everybody needs friends......so there...Ha!!!
So, I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving with your families. Gotta go beat the poo out of Sunshine :)
peace :) shemelts
]]>Do The Mathurn:uuid:f32dee9a-9352-df12-fdee-e1529352c76a2008-11-26T07:11:25-05:00So, last night was Charlie Brown's first wrestling meet. R.J. and I took off early (3) to attend together....we never miss an event our children are in, or we haven't so far. We had never attended a wrestling match and were really unsure as to how it plays out. C.B. had never wrestled before and he was a bit nervous.
Earlier in the week he had a wrestle off...which means that he wrestled the other boys in his weight class 135 to see who would be on the varsity team. This seems a bit crazy to me, as he had never wrestled in his life....and varsity benotes that you have some experience, at least in my mind. He pulled a muscle in his shoulder during the wrestle off, most probably aggravating an old BMX injury.....so he didn't make it. Thank goodness....too much pressure right out of the gate.
We drive to the school (45 min) in very busy traffic, through construction and all kinds of shizzle. R.J. did pretty well with the traffic, probably because we had plenty of time to get there, most likely beating the team there. Get to the town early and drop into Books a Million to waste a little time. Now this is my idea of a good place to get lost. After awhile, we decide to head over.
C.B. and the team are on the bleachers listening to the coach.....they weigh in, C.B. is 133 (the most he has ever weighed) and it seems that they have a boy for him to wrestle. We settle in the bleachers near the team. There are 4 teams there and they will have a match with two of them.
Now being from the south, Tn. at least....we are all friendly people. We were talking amongst ourselves that this was our first match ever and we weren't sure how it all went. A lady sitting in front of me, turned around and said "This is my first time too, I don't have a clue what I am watching". So I kindly ask her...."Which team is your son on"? and she answers and points, they are on the far side of the gym. So I go onto ask..."Which one is your son"? and she says "You do the math".....and dies laughing. She was black and when I looked over there, he was the only black boy on the team. I said..."Wow, You got me on that one", and we both laughed....as I turned beet red. We continued to talk some, but I had to move to the other side of the gym to film the varsity boys in their meets.
Wow folks, let me tell ya, wrestling looks difficult. They got so worn out....especially the bigger boys. The old saying....the bigger you are, the harder you fall is the truth. Our team did well, not sure who won...as I don't know how they keep score. We had several straight to the mat pins.....I filmed for 2 hours....giving C.B. a copy of this event in his life and a training tool.
How did C.B. do??? Well he held his own for awhile, but he made a novice mistake and got pinned. I gave him a pain pill afterwards and hopefully he can recouperate some before the tournament on Dec. 6.
We didn't leave the school till well after 9 p.m. YIKES!! Had to eat McDonald's at like 10pm. So not what I want to do for dinner. YUCK!! Next time we go out of town, we will be more prepared....take Subway with us or something and eat at a normal time. Sunshine made it in from college and was not too happy to be eating Mc D's either. She is in for Thanksgiving...should be fun times with us for the next 4 days.
Anyway, there is my update on my night. Everyone have a wonderful Wednesday....don't eat too much...prepare for the feast tomorrow. Remember to lift someone up..in doing so, you will reap the benefits.
peace :) shemelts
]]>Living Within Our Means...urn:uuid:7235db59-1550-144a-1e70-a46fa3fb22e32008-11-25T08:16:33-05:00The good thing about being raised in poverty, is that you lower your expectations. You don't have much and you learn that you truly don't need much. I am a product of being raised on nothing. My father worked a full time job, mom didn't work till we were teens. She had 8 kids to raise and frankly no sitter could handle the task. Dad was an alcoholic and had an addiction to cigarettes. Out of his paycheck first came his vices. Then the rent, utitilities, phone, food, insurance...and you guessed it folks, nothing was left.
I don't recall ever having a new pair of pants, until I dated my husband at 18. Mother made our clothes, or got hand me downs from our cousins or bought them at yard sales. I don't recall getting new shoes, save once in highschool. I don't recall ever getting toys, radios, magazines, frivolous girly stuff that you get because your a girl. I lived a life of getting by. As a very small child, I didn't realize that I had nothing, I never noticed that I didn't have the nice clothes or shoes the other children did. I always had all the clothes I needed, and never went without shoes, be them hand me downs.
Not until I was in 7th or 8th grade did I realize we were poor and we didn't have what other people had. I never ate at a restaurant until I was 17 and on my first date. Never went to a walk in movie theatre until I was 17 and was on a date with a 26 year old man (what was mom thinking??). I went to town very infrequently and I am sure this was due to mother needing time alone..God Bless Her. We never vacationed, or took trips, save a visit to my grandmother's house in Alabama.
At Christmas we normally received games for the entire family, fruit and nuts....a coloring book and a box of crayons each....period..nothing else. When I was in the 7th grade I received my first Christmas gift that was truly only mine. It was a handheld transistor radio...white with a red and blue stripe on it. It worked on a nine volt battery and had an ear bud with it. It only picked up one station...and that station was playing all Christmas music. I couldn't wait to hear real music on it. The first song I heard on it...was Rhinestone Cowboy by Glen Campbell. Ha! I remember hearing that song, whilst laying in my bed...happy as a clam to have something that belonged purely to me.
So folks, when I got married, I was as unspoiled as they come. R.J. and I both worked minimum wage jobs when we married. We bought a couch set that was $100.00 and had all other furniture given to us by family. I had a wedding shower and received all the household goods I needed (still have most of this by the way). We went to the dollar store and bought a set of dinnerware..the last of which saw its demise last year, some 24 years later. We lived within our means.
As the years passed, we made more money...but we also acquired two children, two vehicles and a house. When we bought our home, we bought all new furniture to go in it. This furniture will probably be with us until we die. I do not purchase frivolous things for the house. I bought all the accessories that are in our house, when we bought it. Save a computer table and a couple of odds and ends...we have bought no new furniture...It is just not necessary.
The thing about all this material stuff is...it is inmaterial. What is important is the people, the relationships, the bonds of love that you wrap yourselves up with. If you have a place to sleep, food when your hungry, and warmth to keep you from freezing, then folks you have what you need. I learned a huge lesson from poverty. Money is just a means to an end. It is a great thing to have money, but it is a greater thing to have love. Money can not hold you at night, cannot wipe away your tears and can not whisper sweet nothings into your ears...things that make you melt closer and make you want to stay ever so near.
peace :) shemelts
]]>Rainy Days and Mondays....urn:uuid:6c84eb50-9172-14d9-64f9-14de5bbfbe6d2008-11-24T10:08:36-05:00It's another rainy Monday and here we are again.....starting a new week. A quick update on my neice J....she will undergo a bilateral mastectomy on Dec. 5 where she will also lose all lymph nodes under one arm. Then she will have chemo and radiation. She is hopeful and in good spirits. Hopefully her good attitude will help her to heal faster and to recover from this traumatic surgery. She hopes to have reconstruction, sometime down the road. She is only 33, has long blonde hair and very nice breasts. I can only imagine how she feels at this point. I am praying constantly for her to survive....hair will grow back, and hopefully the reconstruction surgery will help her to feel okay about her body. Eveybody please pray for her. On top of all of this, she has no insurance..Yikes.
I had a relatively quiet weekend.....I was a bit under the weather and R.J. took care of the meals for me. My Sunshine came in Friday and we spent time together hanging out in front of the t.v. watching random crap and laughing. Did I ever tell you that she was special??? Cause folks, she is. Charlie Brown got all cleaned up (hair cut, no facial hair) for the wrestling team. His first meet is Tuesday about an hour away....during rush hour traffic.....pray we make it and that I don't cram something down R.J.'s mouth when he starts spewing road rage....because he is a timely person.....hates to be late. I fail to understand how cussing people....who are in other cars by the way....is helpful. I however, am in the car with him....and I find it irritating. Oh Well!!! Such is life, huh??
I want to tell you that I am finding a new appreciation for R.J. We are trying really hard to appreciate each other.....and to let that be known. We went to breakfast yesterday morning, per our usual Sunday thingy. On our way he asked me how I was feeling......I had a bit of a head cold...with a visitor from hell called Aunt Flo (sick of this bitch)....ha!! He made a quick stop at Walgreens and went in to purchase me some mega mega Midol (I didn't ask him to..that was what made it so nice). While he was in the store he bought two boxes of Chocolate covered cherries..... Did I mention this little addiction to you??? Yep!!
I think it takes a super husband to go in and buy the midol and remember that chocolate is a woman's best friend when her visitor comes around. God Bless Him....he will be rewarded. We thought of some fun games to be had with the Chocolate covered cherries...and if any survive that long...we will try them.. Not going into that now though.....nope. :O I think I might have eaten about 15 of those little thingies yesterday.. Yikes!! There goes the diet :(
Anyways, today promptly at 7:30 my house was filled with little people....busy, loud, excited little boys and girls. Tomorrow, I will interview 2 little girls, twins to join the others in mega..mega playland. Hopefully they will be a good fit and will be a blessing in my life. I know I could sure use the funds.....I am short $170.. per week right now.. Yikes!
R.J. got all the leaves cleaned up around our home....did I mention he is a bit OCD??? He is....he enjoyed being outside working and is proud his yard is clean. We went to our favorite Mexican restaurant and had dinner...and I told him how much I appreciated him. It takes a lot to keep a house in working order, especially when you are so particular about every little thing. Last night I went to bed early with him and scratched his back and gave him a good back rub. See, I do reciprocate...just don't want to sit around tooting my own horn.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Monday and a Blessed week. Lift people up when you get the chance....you don't know when the kind word you speak is the word that makes all the difference.
peace :) shemelts
]]>The Cell Phone Debacle......urn:uuid:abfe7d03-c10d-7d82-6c98-e39b95ce68c72008-11-22T15:25:29-05:00Okay Peeps, It is time for us to put the cell phone issue to bed..literally. R.J. and I discussed the cell phone text messages I received the other night whilst we were making LOVE. He says the cell phone was not the issue, his concern was more on C.B. coming in the house during (and coming to the bedroom to talk to us, per his usual) and so he was rushing it a bit. OH WELL! We are both fine with this, and have moved on.
So, now is the time for me to explain to you the entire cell phone dealio in our home. R.J. and I are one unit..married forever, and we are focused on each other..so consider us the inner circle. Around our inner circle..we have two children..we have communication with them mostly through texting..it is just easier that way for everyone. Consider our children the second circle. The third circle would be our extended families..his parents, grandfather, my siblings etc. Then there is this fourth circle..the outer circle..which contains...friends, coworkers and any person that might need us and happen to be lucky enough to have our cell phone numbers. Folks thats a lot of circles and a lot of communicating.
We made a dealio with our children that they could contact us at any time..for a ride, for an ear..or for anything..anything at all. No questions asked we would be there for them..period. I consider having a cell phone by my bed security that should I be needed, I will be able to be contacted. R.J. feels the same way, we are committed, concerned parents...and always will be.
Once, a few years ago..before I had a cell phone, there was an emergency at my mothers. She had fallen and was hurt badly. She gave EMS my home number and they called. Due to my teen daughter leaving the computer online...I never received that call. My mother had noone with her the entire night...and when I finally arrived at the hospital the next day..she looked at me and said.. "you didn't come"! This never happened again...as I had a cell phone immediately. When she called, and it was often..I would be at her door within 10 min. and it takes 6 min to get there..even if it was 3 a.m. From a dead sleep to her door 10 min.
In our relationship, we have been interrupted many times during sex. From the police knocking on the window of the vehicle, to a child who was sick and crying, to a phone call from his mother....when she asked what we were doing?? I told her having sex..she promptly hung up and is wiser about when to call. Ha!
If we are interrupted by a phone call, I always laugh and tell him.. Yeah....now we get to start all over again...fun. If the shoe were on the other foot and R.J. had been getting texts during sex..I would have laughed and enjoyed starting over and over and over. The cell phone was not the issue..Communication was.
I get that the cell phone was a distraction, but some people acted as if I were layed up in pillows of down, popping bubblegum, singing "girls just want to have fun", all the while texting, whilst he serviced me... that was just not the case. I was simply making sure that it was not our son. Period..I would rather have been focused on enjoying the moment at hand.
In this day in time...technology such as a cell phone is a necessary evil. In our home, it is a Godsend. If we get to the point that we can not tolerate interruptions during sex, we will no longer be together, cause folks, that is just life. If we can not laugh that off and keep moving forward, perhaps starting over again...with all the enjoyment...then we don't need to be married.
Now the communication part...that is another topic altogether. R.J. and I have discussed this part too and we have agreed to communicate a little better in the bedroom and out. Committed relationships are work....but so worth it.
peace :) shemelts
]]>The Sex Talk.....urn:uuid:df62f459-026b-d268-9c5a-1722022821e92008-11-21T08:21:46-05:00Warning..this post will be a frank discussion of a sexual nature. If you are easily offended, do not open and dare not read. Consider yourself warned. Thanks!! :D
So, yesterday's blog about the fumble we had in the bedroom drew a lot of attention..What does that say about us folks?? LOL It says that sex is a big part of our lives..it is a taboo subject in most places. I think that is bad for all of us. Anyway I knew that after each fumble, there comes a need to discuss the nature of the game and perhaps, how to play it better. The following is the conversation I had with R.J.
R.J. We need to talk.
me ..yep, I agree
R.J. Want to go to dinner alone?
me ..that would be nice
R.J. We need to talk about sex. (who knew?)
me...I think we should
R.J. When I am doing something I am enjoying..you shouldn't stop me.
me.. If I am the one receiving what you are doing, and I am not enjoying it, I have every right to tell you that.
R.J. Yeah, but that doesn't mean I have to stop.
me.. hello??? If I am not enjoying it, why wouldn't you WANT to stop?
R.J. Cause I liked it.
me.. well I liked it to..but I wanted you to do something different.
R.J. I was worn out from doing something different..I was kind of taking a break, getting my breath ....ha!! OMG
me.. Hmm..well Let me be the first to say that I am sorry it ended the way it did. I love you..I want you to be happy. We just need to communicate a little better..thats all. I certainly don't want to be wasting time doing something you don't enjoy.
R.J. There is nothing you do that I dont enjoy.
me.. I could say the same about you..but you clearly are hard headed and want things the way you want them, all the time.
R.J. I have been married to you for 25 years, I know what you like and don't like...you just get in these moods and nothing pleases you.
me... well now, I wouldn't go that far. I would have been very pleased if you had changed positions and went back to that later.
R.J. Are you trying to kill me?
me.. ha, not likely. I just think I forced you to have sex and you were just not that into it. You were tired.
R.J. Yeah I was tired, but I wanted to have sex with you. I just wanted it the way I wanted it.
me... I think you like me to initiate sex..just not demand it.
R.J. Initiating sex is not ...Get in here now..we are going at it.
me... I know..you used to do the same to me, and it never went well. I will try harder to initiate better, and if you don't respond , then I will know that you are not in the mood.
R.J. Okay..sounds good.
So folks, I learned a valuable lesson here. I hope you all noticed that the phone was not mentioned, as we both knew that while it was bothersome, the true issue was communication. Sex is a huge part of our marriage. It is the one thing that we have with each other, that noone else is a part of. We give that solely to each other. I want to meet all of his needs, and he certainly wants to meet all of mine. We sometimes fumble in the bedroom, but I think that each time, we come away with a clearer knowlege of our goals together. I don't want to initiate sex in the way that I did...kind of like get your a$$ in here and perform and do it NOW!!! I have been there and it takes away from the loving spirit that we should be sharing.
I wanted to thank everyone who commented yesterday ..especially doctor love who clearly needs to listen better to what I am saying..Joking sorry 4..ha! ha! A big thankyou to Douglas..for giving me the stars...after I begged for them. blogger, I will look into the ring tone thingy. You guys are all great. Ain't life grand.
Thank God It is Friday!!! Time for some Weekend Sex!!! :D Ha!
peace :D shemelts
]]>My Sex Life.....Oh Dear!!!!urn:uuid:a6f18d7b-0be7-29ac-f773-ff7f7fd1e5ca2008-11-20T08:56:46-05:00This post will be a graphic discussion about sex. If you are easily offended...do not open..and dare not read..Ha!!
Consider yourself warned!!!
So for the record..I am a 45 year old woman...married for 25 years to the same man and I have had one sexual partner...my husband. He was my first and he will be my last...till death do us part...no matter who does the killing. Ha!
Early on in our relationship we were all over each other....it was nothing for us to have sex several times a day. Once children came along, things slowed down dramatically, much to his chagrin. With a full time job....twelve hours a day, mind you....and 2 small children...I was too exhausted throughout the week to enjoy sex...let alone initiate it. R.J. would call me in the mornings from work and say.."You want to have sex tonight"?? I was like.."hmmm, can we just get through the day..supper..baths..bedtime..and then weigh our options"?? Hello...at 9:30 in the morning, I am not thinking about sex...not even with some hunk off the latest, greatest t.v. night time soap.
Things got better as the children got older and I cut my work hours down to nine and a half hours per day. We went back to our sex every day and sometimes more than once a day. Nothing keeps a mans eye from wandering, like a woman that keeps him worn out at home. Thats my philosophy...nope he has no strength for another woman.
Fast forward to the last five years. Our children are self sufficient and most of the time are not even at home. I have had some kind of hormonal surge and I have turned into a total nymphomaniac...one that is faithful, mind you. Our sex life is phenomenal...and this takes us to this week and the disaster I am about to unfold for you.
Lately we have turned into the weekend sex thingy again....because at this time he is working ten hours a day and some Saturdays and he is too tired. This is not going over so well for me. So I am sending him texts at work...sexy texts, that he seems to enjoy....probably because he is showing his friends that he has a sex princess at home.....ha!
So Monday night..he cooks dinner and settles into his recliner..no sex..though he holds me close while we sleep. Tuesday night we go to dinner with friends..but he is still too tired...no sex..though he holds me close while we sleep. Which by the way, only serves to make me hornier..hello?? Ha!!
So yesterday...oh the fateful day..I send him texts at work that basically say..your killing me here..It has been 3 days...ha! I know...so sex tonight or else. He agrees that come what may, we will have sex. He loves me, he wants to have sex with me..just lacks the energy. So we work..and I go to the tanning bed, whilst he cooks steak and baked potatoes..and serves me a nice meal.
While we are eating I tell him that I think he has his priorities messed up. LOL..he smiles. I tell him that he is too concerned about serving me huge delicious meals and that he should be having wild passionate sex with me instead...we can eat cornflakes..if we have the energy afterwards. He laughs..I laugh..all is good.
After dinner I receive a funny Christmas text which I promptly send out to 20 close friends..big mistake. I take a hot bath, while he does the dishes...and I make my way to his recliner. I tell him..to come to bed with me..and folks it is not even 8:00..Charlie Brown is due back by 9, so we have an hour. We go to the bed and start having glorious sex...then it begins...the texts..OMG
Now, let me just say that I have to look at all texts to make sure that my Sunshine and my Charlie Brown do not need me, have not been in an accident, or run out of gas in some God forsaken place....etc. Nope..it was my friends returning a quick OMG or ha ha..whatever..they were spoiling the sex. Messing with my concentration and R.J.'s too. We are getting a bit frustrated.
Now here comes the delicate part. Oral sex..now I enjoy oral sex with R.J...he has a bald spot in the back of his hair to prove it...joking that is hereditary. However..he acts as if he has just hit the buffet bar and plans to stay all night. You know, camp out..cook marshmallows..ha!! I am getting texts from friends that I have to look at. So I am so not enjoying this at this point and short of telling him..and risk hurting his feelings I start suggesting other positions...I'd rather be in..OMG..He says nope..I am enjoying this..
Okay, so I am contemplating taking both of my hands and hitting him really hard on both ears, possibly busting his eardrums...but then hmmmm his mouth is not positioned for a blow to the head..so I choose not to do that...I am joking folks. Ha!! Finally I just say..Okay..I am done..get up and leave me alone. End of sex..Over!! He says "fine" and goes to his side of the king size bed..his apartment we lovingly call it.
So not what I was expecting this night to be..R.J. is asleep in less than two minutes...I on the other hand, am left wondering....what just happened?? I learned something...that is what just happened. The tables have turned on us. I am now the one suggesting sex at 9:30 in the morning. R.J. likes me to initiate sex...but if he is too tired..then forcing him to have sex is not a good thing. Texting people with hilarious jokes an hour before going to bed..is not a good thing, as they are likely to reciprocate. Texting and laughing during sex is definitely a deal breaker (I did not answer any texts..just looked at who it was from and threw the phone down). Seeing how fast he fell asleep, he was just too tired to enjoy sex in any form.
This morning I awoke to yet another text. It was from R.J. and it said.. "I love you! Have a good day!" Nice.
I love him too and I will definitely respect the fact that he is working too hard, and trying too hard to keep me happy. I will let up on the sex thing. Afterall, that is what fantasies are for..to fill in between the mad passionate love making we have with each other. Oh dear!!!
peace :) shemelts
]]>Things That Touch Me....urn:uuid:a3996eb3-78a5-9cfa-eb3e-fef474bfa2a72008-11-19T08:46:22-05:00So Douglas started this theme about ...Things That Touch You...more specifically songs. Some years ago my mother was listening to our local radio station as she prepared for the Christmas Season. Now she, like I , had a huge love of music. It played a large role in her life, and she was always listening to some form of music. When I arrived at her house to wrap her presents... I did this for her every year...she was poised to tape a song from the radio. Seems she had heard this new song and per her usual, fell in love with it. She had called the radio station, one of her friends owned it .......to request they play the song again. I cried the first time I heard it...and every time since.
This year as I spend the first Christmas without mother, this song will have special meaning to me. I will shed more tears as I listen to this song in honor of my mother and the love she spread at Christmas and all year long. I will carry on all the special traditions she held during Christmas with my own family..Adding a new one by purchasing an ornament in her honor to hang on my tree.
I tried to find it on youtube...and was only able to find a live version performed in a theatre..which takes away from the purity of the song. However, I did find a lighting store who downloaded it for everyone to listen tofor the holiday season. Please go to this site and listen to this song. If you do not cry...I promise you will get coal in your stocking to match the coal in your heart....joking..ha!!
The song is: The Train...by Celestial Navigations
http://www.budgetlighting.com/holidays/
hope this works for you. ENJOY!!!!
peace :) shemelts
]]>Ramblings and Spatters about Fear...urn:uuid:859c79f6-5fce-87fb-06b0-6708fd657e192008-11-18T10:55:09-05:00It occured to me this morning whilst I was driving Charlie Brown (teen son) to school that I have developed some fears about driving and riding in a car. Now when I search myself,I know exactly how these fears developed and I have a little inner dialogue that tells myself that the acts that triggered these fears were random and unlikely to happen to me.
This works pretty good for the most part in keeping me calm and allows me to drive without panic...but it always reminds me that happenstance is just that ...it happens. Random acts of violence on the road is a terrible thing and has taken the lives of more than a few people that I know. Not violence perpetrated one person to another, but chance violence....freak accidents.
Some years ago, I had a friend..she was in her early 30's. She had a set of twins who were in my daycare at one time...she was also related to my husband, second cousin. Once her children left my daycare, we remained friends and visited each other quite regularly. Anyway, one day on her way home from work she was coming around a curve and met a truck....hauling a car on a trailer. The trailer came unhitched and slammed through her windshield, killing her. She had massive injuries and they had a closed casket funeral, one that left me shattered for sometime. Her children were 4 years old. That was a horrible event in my life and my heart goes out to these children even still.
This leads me to my first fear......following or meeting trailers being pulled by other vehicles. I just have this vision of them coming un-hitched and slamming into my vehicle. Following a vehicle on the interstate that is hauling something, even in the back of it.....freaks me out. Even if I can clearly see the straps and the ropes.....I fear they will snap, sending their haul my way.
In another random freak accident....a guy I know was working with large timber....hauling it to the local paper factory. Now this is a huge industry where I live, and daily we encounter....HUGE log trucks, hauling logs. This guy was tying/untying the straps when the logs fell out of the side crushing him. He was in his early fourties..yuck.
Also added to this fear is a dream I once had. I dreamed that my husband pulled out in front of one of these huge log trucks and was killed instantly. I saw his black chevrolet mangled in this wreck and the funeral and everything so vividly....when I woke up and called him, I was shocked he was still alive. Very vivid and scary. A couple of days later, he got a ticket for failing to stop at the stop sign where I dreamed the accident occured. He goes to work early and the road is usually empty at that time..but this dream freaked me out. He now stops everytime and when he sees a log truck, he will say something about the dream. Of course he likes to joke that I was actually planning his death, so I could go move in with my lover...ha!! NOT likely.
I can't stand to be behind or beside these huge log trucks. Just this morning one pulled up beside me at a red light. I eased up a bit, just to be sure the logs were behind my vehicle...and not right next to me. My rational mind knows that these random freak accidents are unlikely to occur to me....but I just can't help it.
I have always erred on the side of caution, especially while driving, but these fears are a little more than caution. They don't stop me from going anyplace, so I guess I have it under control. No need for meds yet, or that really nice white jacket with the cute straps that hold you so nice and snug in that eternal hug. Guess I'll have to wait on that one a little longer. Ha!!
Have a great Tuesday everybody!!!!
peace :) shemelts
]]>Embarassing Moments with Children....urn:uuid:c3002783-eceb-41ec-3920-ed8dabc380602008-11-17T12:15:34-05:00When my daughter, Sunshine was 3 years old (now 21), I taught her the correct terms for body parts.....including vagina. My reasoning was and still is by the way, that if a child is assaulted, they need to know the correct terms to explain exactly what happened. So it plays out like this....Nose, eyes, hands, legs, vagina...etc. She called it her virginia for some time, before landing on the correct term. This was cute and I told her that this was a private word that we talked quietly about. Hmmmm..
So at Christmas time we went to WalMart with my mom. Now it is Christmas and the place is packed, per usual. Sunshine is sitting up in the buggy perusing the toy aisle. Now at that time, Pound puppies were a huge hit. They had this new Dog with a velcro closure in her tummy and inside of that velcro...she had 3 or 4 little puppies....upon purchase, you get to find out if you were blessed with 3 or 4 and what awesome colors you and your spouse doggy produced...oh joy!!!.
Of course someone had opened one of the dogs and Sunshine wanted to hold it for a bit, whilst we shopped. My mom handed her the dog and I went around to the next aisle as mom pushed Sunshine in the buggy.
All of a sudden Sunshine yells....AT THE TOP OF HER LUNGS....
MAMA!!! SOMEBODY GOT THE PUPPIES OUT OF THIS DOGS VAGINA!!!! OMG!!!
My mom like to have fainted...she was from the generation that couldn't even say pregnant ..they whispered pg.....she quickly rushed the buggy over to me and made her way out of the toy aisle. I laughed my head off, but I am sure I was crimson red as all the other mothers gasped in shock. I then quietly told Sunshine that yes she was right, someone had indeed taken the puppies. OH DEAR!!!
Oh the joys of having children. I love to tell this story..and Sunshine if you are reading...I am sorry. Just thought I would make everybody smile this morning. :D
Happy Monday folks!!!
peace :) shemelts
]]>A Simple Little Thong Story...urn:uuid:ad6a8108-5dda-35a8-dbb7-82bf2dc0def12008-11-17T08:04:13-05:00Some time ago I realized that I needed to purchase new tennis shoes......some people call these sneakers.....atheletic shoes. Whatever you choose to call them....they are a necessity for the atheletic person, or for most people who spend a lot of time moving and shaking......me. I hate purchasing new tennis shoes.....due to the fact that there are so many varieties which make it difficult to choose....and the other factor.....they are so damn expensive.
Last week, I ventured into our local Belk store and looked through the shoe department. The average cost was $70.00 and I made my way out of that store quickly. Now to be fair, they have excellent sales and I generally can find great deals, just not on this day.
Wednesday of last week, I received a coupon from our local Goody's store for $20.00. Seems I have not been using my earned bucks....and they wanted to give me the opportunity to use them.....with the clause that if I purchase more than the alloted $20.00 worth of merchandise....it HAD to be put on my Goody's credit card.....Okay...simple enough.
Saturday was a cold, blustery day, with some cold rain showers mixed in. I bundled up and went to breakfast with R.J. and we discussed our plans for the day. I told him I wanted to head to Goody's to find a pair of shoes......and he drove me down to the store. He remained in the van.....reading the local paper while I ventured into the shoe department door....not entering the main store where I might get barraged by temptation.
I found the atheletic shoe aisle and promptly began trying on shoes. I tried on keds, reeboks, polo and finally found a pair of New Balance. The store was almost empty, save three men who were shopping beside me in the same aisle. I am about to try on the New Balance shoes when out of the bottom of my blue jeans leg falls a blue thong with bright pink flowers all over it. I look up at these men, who are looking down at the thong laying on the floor......our eyes meet and they raise their brows...and start laughing, and of course I start laughing and cram the thong into my purse. What must they think??
My first thought is...did my thong break and travel ever so carefully down my leg?? Am I so cold that I didn't notice the descent of a cotton thong making its way down my thigh, my calf and then onto the floor?? Not likely!!! Then I realize...Okay!!! this thong apparently was trapped in my jeans in the dryer (kind of like those annoying cling frees that cling to everything and fall out at the utmost embarassing moments). Ha!!
I had on long socks, which might explain why I did not get the sensory clue that I had an interloper in my pants.....OH the men who would have liked to have been that thong....well probably more likely to want to be the other thong....Oh well.....Sorry...just joking. Ha!!
My second thought is that these men likely think I stole this thong from the lingerie department of Goody's.....which I had not ventured into that day...and we may have a Spanish Inquisition regarding said thong....in the security room of said store. YIKES!!!
The men walk away...probably to tell their wives of my indencency....and I messaged my husband telling him that a thong just fell out of the bottom of my pants leg..LOL.....his response....nice to know you brought a spare pair..LOL.
I settled on a pair of New Balance tennis shoes...ones that are so light and comfortable that I can not even feel them on my feet.
Hmmm....we are starting a pattern here.
Yes folks, I did have to put some on my credit card. The shoes had been $80.00, marked down to $39.99 and that means that I paid $42. plus change.....putting $22.00 on my card. Mission accomplished for Goody's and mission accomplished for Shemelts......plus a funny story to boot.
Have a great Monday and a Terrific Week!!! :D
peace :) shemelts
]]>A Quickie...urn:uuid:920035d9-5614-1245-ac4d-04ca6d7bac592008-11-14T14:46:22-05:00I LOVE SNOWMEN!!!!
This has possibly been the WORST day I have experienced in the daycare in a long time.Two children came in crying....in their pajamas.....would not change for mom or dad. Promptly changed when mom and dad left. We have had fights and crying and tattle telling...you name it and we've had it. YUCK!! TGIF
Bright spot: had an impromptu performance by several children on instruments. The guitar player C....who is 3...just played his heart out.....after they completed their song.....He smiled real big and said DAMN!!! (as in.....man we are good) Oh Dear!!!
Update: It is 4:15...a short 45 minutes until I have the pleasure of shutting and locking the daycare door for the weekend. I need a morphine drip..thankyou very much!! Worst Day Ever!!! :O
Have a wonderful weekend folks.
peace :) shemelts
]]>So it is True..urn:uuid:e8bcfee1-233e-16b9-da42-3f2c780615782008-11-14T09:31:57-05:00Yesterday, my neice J went back to see the surgeon for the results of her biopsy. She is 33 years old and has now been diagnosed with invasive lobular carcinoma of the breast. This cancer normally hits women in their mid 60's so it is rare for someone so young to have it. It is the size of an egg..and she will have to have some radical treatments and fast.
She will go Monday to the oncologist, Wed. for an MRI on the other breast (as it is most likely in both), and back to the surgeon on Thursday. J is a very religious woman....she is trusting for a complete and total recovery. She will follow the doctors orders and work swiftly to save her life.
Perhaps one of the biggest blows is that she and her husband were between insurance companies.....she has no coverage. The breast center in Orlando refused to even see her because she had no insurance....Screw the hypocratical (sp) oath....huh?? I know the doctors need to be paid....but they are the specialists in this field and they refused a young woman facing a life/death situation because of money. Hmmm.
Last night upon hearing the news I cried. I cried for the life altering event that will change this sweet girls life forever. I cried because she lives one hour away from the BMX event I attended last month and I was too busy to see her...too busy to stop and eat dinner with her.
Regret is a horrible thing folks...and I do regret this choice that I made. I talked to her the other day about this regret and she told me that she had company that weekend and would not have had the opportunity to get there and see me....and that she had felt bad about not calling me back. It is a funny thing that we BOTH regretted not seeing each other..not making the time. We laughed at our silliness..and both understood that life is busy.
No matter how far away from our loved ones we are..our love surrounds them. Like my arms would be if I could get to her, my love is wrapped around her. This is just a quick reminder to me that we have no promise of tomorrow..We don't know what life will throw at us...therefore given the opportunity to see someone we love, we should grab it. Don't be too busy.
Grab the ones you love today and hug them. Forgive the little hurts that you have for others..in the big scheme of things they are of little consequence. Say your sorry for the unkind words... or the unkind deeds....be accepting of other people's faults.....live your life without regret.
peace :) shemelts
]]>The Quandry That is Love.....urn:uuid:07007d78-851b-77d3-380b-14efebba545f2008-11-13T10:42:11-05:00No matter what your relationship with love is for the moment, we can all agree that it is a huge part of our lives. The most complicated of emotions, love brings us to the brink..and suggests we dive in, or even sometimes, jump off of the proverbial cliff. It carries us up to our highest highs, and lays us down to our lowest lows. Without love, we are left cold and desolate and afraid. They say love makes the world go around, and I for one..agree.
Just this morning, I heard on my local radio station a love quandry..and I thought it would be good to bring this..ever so deep quandry your way and explore it with you..or through you..however you choose to look at it.
Quandry:
A couple are married for many years..devoted one to the other, until the husband strays. Now he only strayed emotionally, having met a woman online and fell in love with her (think Whiteknight and KP). He eventually broke down and confessed his feelings for the other woman to his wife. He breaks off the relationship with the other woman and tries to mend the marriage. Some time later, the man finds out he is terminally ill. His dying wish..to his wife..is that she contact the "other woman" and allow him to meet her..just one time before he dies. As the wife..do you call her? or not?
Now I have a very simple answer to this, as I have a definite hold on what true love means. I will however allow you to answer, unspoiled by my viewpoint and perhaps, post my answer later.
Thanks for playing and have a wonderful Thursday. :D
Oh and I mean no disrespect to Whiteknight and KP....thanks :)
peace :) shemelts
]]>Insecurity Sucks........urn:uuid:c3a8df61-7f75-deaf-06f1-5e2cd7cfcc3b2008-11-11T10:04:06-05:00We all have some form of insecurity..it is human. I am sure that at some time or another, we have all asked..am I good enough?? will I fit in?? what will they think of me??We may have even gone so far as to have the negative dialogue in our heads that tell us...No you are not good enough, you are not pretty enough, you are not fit enough, you are not smart enough...You will never be what you want to be, or have what you want to have. That dialogue eventually poisons the mind and causes irrevocable damage to the self esteem and folks, it affects everything that you do, especially relationships.
I think that some form of insecurity is normal and keeps us on our toes somewhat. It is when this insecurity affects your everyday life that it becomes a problem. We need to put our best foot forward, always..we need to show people that we are capable.A bit of insecurity helps us to remember that there is that slight chance that people will see us as less than we are, and pushes us to excel..so we can show them different.
The insecurity that we have about relationships is the most dangerous kind of insecurity. Like a festering wound, it eats away at the relationship. As one partner tries to assure the other partner that ..yes you are good enough, yes you are what I want...what I need..and what I am willing to do anything for...the relationship falters. At some point the partner who has been so supportive and so willing to give to you that lift up that you need..grows tired of trying. Grows tired of the words that they are speaking that bounce off into the twilight zone..never getting past the outside of your ears. Never entering in and making the change the partner hopes they will make.
Folks, it is time for us all to change that self dialogue, time to take an inner assessment of ourselves. We need to look at ourselves with the same kindness we afford other people. We are way too hard on ourselves. Everybody on this earth has something to offer. While I admit that some have more than others..I know full well that we all have something. We look at ourselves with the critics eye....not being kind in our assessment. Instead of looking at the positive things, we focus on the negative.
Just for yourself, I would like to ask you to think of 10 things that make you special..that make you worthy. Ten things that you feel good about..even if you don't share them publicly on this site. Try hard to focus on the good assets you have..and eliminate the things that you feel bad about when you think about yourself. We all have the capacity to change..we all have the need to make some changes..but just for today, let us focus on the positive.
I will list my ten here..and tonight I will hand R.J. a list of 10 things that I think are his most positive assets. 10 things that he does on a daily basis/weekly basis that make my life easier. 10 things that make him the special man that he is to me. 10 things he does that rock my world and change my life for the better. It won't be hard to make this list..he is a good guy. It won't be hard to make my list either..as I am a pretty special person myself. Can you make that list??
1. I am an excellent wife..dedicated, loving and understanding in all aspects of our relationship (though struggling with this insecurity crap..ha). He is first in my life, though maybe he doesn't realize that. He can look at me and smile and I melt..27 years and I am still melting.
2. I am an excellent mother..nurturing, loving without limits, a good cheerleader, and a shoulder to cry on. My ears are always open to my children, my heart melts at the sound of their voices. I give advice only when asked and try to consider their point of view on all matters.
3. I was an excellent daughter. Both parents deceased now, I have wonderful memories of time spent together. I learned the lessons they taught..sometimes the hard way, but I learned. Everything I am belongs solely to them.
4. I am an excellent childcare provider. I love children and have the patience of a saint. Nurturing and caring, safety minded and fun to spend the day with. I have the children's needs in my heart and their laughter makes my world go around.
5. I am a good friend. I have had many friends in my life. I am honest and trustworthy and nothing they could ever tell me would make me not care for them. That listening ear..is important.
6. I am talented at many things..some of which I will not discuss on this site..ha. Talented at photography, writing (though you may not have noticed this on this site..ha), and I can paint and draw.
7. I am a great organizer..thorough and very goal oriented..If I have a task at hand..I will do it efficiently.
8. I am dependable..I will do what I say I will do come what may. No matter what happens, if I say I will be there, then I will be there..and on time. I put others needs first and if you need something from me, I will be there to give it to you, if I am able.
9. I am a good nester..my home is comfortable and clean most of the time. I take a lot of pride in providing a soft place to fall for my family. Home is supposed to be a happy place, where you can take off your shoes and relax..I have made this place for my family, peaceful and calm and inviting.
10. I am the keeper of the memories for my family. I have taken all measures of pictures and saved all memorabilia. I have made large memory books for my children encompassing their entire lives (these are not finished of course)..I also have all the photos from my parents..and hope to make my siblings a photo cd for Christmas.
I love me..because I am a good person. My ability to love me, affects my ability to love others. We need to fill our own cups of happiness and then slowly but surely spill that sweet nectar into other people's lives.