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So folks I haven't talked about my marriage lately..Hubby and I have had a rough last few months..with problems that I just couldn't seem to put my finger on. We have had a breakthrough of sorts and I think I have figured out the problem. Having said that let me just go ahead and admit to all..it won't be easy to fix.
Another thing I have figured out is who is to blame for this fiasco...those Damn Fairy Tales that we read all of our early years. You know the one where the damsel in distress waits for the handsome young prince to come and save her and they live happily ever after..defying the old witch, or wicked step mother. All the damsel in distress had to do was wait patiently for the prince to get his ass over there and get to it.
Hmm...well in real life things are just not that easy..dammit!!
Damsel in distress can be as patient as she can..and young prince can sometimes not see the forest for the trees. Sure he rescues her, they have babies...whew...did anybody ever mention how difficult it would be to spend 20 years of your life raising babies into healthy, happy, productive citizens..who would one day run our country? No sirree they did not.
Another factor they left out is that you..the damsel in distress, princess as it were, get lost in the process. Not only do you lose yourself, you lose touch with the prince. Both of you plugging along, paying for the castle, sending the kidlets to school, running them to every event in the God forsaken village..passing each other in the process and letting your relationship fall by the wayside.
Without knowing it you stop communicating in a loving fashion. Oh sure you remember to discuss the kids schedules, the bills and work. But you forget the little things about each other. No time for sweet nothings whilest you plug away at being successful parents and productive citizens.
One day you look at each other with full contempt and say..I just don't want to do this anymore. Likely as not one of you will say..WHAT HAPPENNED TO US??? If your lucky..one of you will want to hang on enough to convince the other one to try..One of you will remember the early days and try..try..try..to take a spark and build it into the raging fire that once burned you with its flame.
Folks we are at this point. Through a major breakdown this weekend we have talked and talked and talked some more..did anyone notice the blue tint to my skin??? Oh good.. :D maybe the tint will fade. I am listening to the not so young prince try to convince me that this relationship can and will be saved. We have decided to try to put the relationship first and to put more emphasis on each others needs. The kids and the house have got to come second and third. Don't get me wrong..we don't physically argue..we just plug along taking care of the necessities..like two ships that pass in the night..with the occasional swapping of passengers. We have to change our view..and we need to do an about face or the ships will sink. Folks this is not about sex..Sex with us has always and let me reiterate ...always been top priority. :D
Men in the world can I just talk to you for a second. Communication is the key. If you were sick and went to the hospital and said HELP ME..the doctor would not have a clue how to help you without you opening your mouth to give him your symptoms. Women are no different. Spell it out for us. Draw a picture if necessary. We can't read minds...oh that we could .....whew my biggest dream is to read minds...okay..back to the subject. People can not meet your needs if you don't tell them what they are. More than likely your woman wants to meet your every need...but has no clue exactly what that is..draw her a picture..and please do this immediately if not sooner..cause that water under the bridge is building..the flood is coming. Spare both of you and tell her what you need..
Women if you are the one holding all the anger and resentment in, because he just doesn't get it. Tell him today what you need. Take his hand, sit him down and draw him a picture..use a knife on his stomach if you need to...Joking of course..but you get my drift. We need to be specific with one another. Noone gets what someone else wants or needs without them spelling it out for them.
Have a wonderful day at your castle..kiss your prince/princess
peace :) shemelts
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Posted by shemelts on 2008-10-09 07:54:46 | Rating: | Views: 54
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I wish you well with your marriage. I believe if both people are committed to making it work and believe in your relationship then it will work.
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Posted by prelude2it
on 2008-10-09 08:44:27
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You're so right communication is the key to everything. Real communication, not just talking. Sometimes when that communication has gone unused for sometime it's difficult to open those channels back up but vital that you do.
I too have a difficult time communicating with my wife. Maybe it's the man thing maybe not but our lives and interests have diverged to the point where it's hard to find common ground, maybe harder to want to.
Hope everything works out well for you. Keep communicating...
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Posted by Tony51203
on 2008-10-09 11:10:55
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I want to read minds, too. Why do we have so much trouble communicating... we aren't different species. Actually sometimes I am not sure...
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Posted by KarKar
on 2008-10-09 12:52:14
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I think communication is one of our biggest problems too. It seems we just can't quite figure out what the other person is trying to say --- whether it be verbal, or non-verbal. Marriage is definitely a tough journey, but I think in the end probably worth it.
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Posted by bjt1977
on 2008-10-21 01:11:58
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