Hi ladies, please gather round for a little talk. Yes, pull up a chair, grab you some coffee and let's chat. Well mostly I will talk and you will listen, but I think if you listen closely, you may learn something you did not know. That is my hope.
First of all, I want to tell each and everyone of you that you are special, unique and precious, in your own little way. Like a snowflake falling in the night sky, you are the only person that will ever breathe a breath, and be just like you. Never again will there be another you, celebrate you, for you are one of a kind.
One thing that is bothersome, is that women are way to hard on themselves. When you look in the mirror you concentrate on your flaws, and in doing so you miss the total picture of who you are, and what you mean to the people around you. Let go of some of the images you have of perfection, and celebrate you. Embrace yourself, for you are all you have, no one else can make you into what you should be, no one can reach your potential but you.
Confidence is the key to sexy. Not being paper thin, not being perfect, just being confident. Now what does that mean exactly? Well it is just this..First you need to accept yourself as special and beautiful. You need to lift your head up and walk with an air of superiority. Smile when you enter a room. If necessary, pretend that you are walking into a room of people who are gathered just to see you.
Have some pride in your ride. We all have extra ordinary characteristics that make us unique. Find yours and exploit it to its greatest potential. If you have nice breasts, but big hips, throw on a bright colored shirt that brings the eye to your best characteristic and smile.
Finding your best qualities and using them to tip the scale in your direction, is the key to being confident. If you have nice hair, fix it up every single day and use that to your advantage. Pretty eyes, play them up with dramatic make up, or soft and subtle make up. Nice body, dress for success. Whatever your body type is, dress to fit your body and not someone else's. Too many times women try to fit into the stylish clothes that they see on the younger set, thinking that will make them look younger, it does not. Dress according to your body style, accentuating the positive and eliminating the negative.
Your attitude and your level of confidence is evident in your stance and your walk. I see so many women hunched over, and super aware of how they look. If you don't think you look good, how can anyone else. At the very least fake it, till you can make it. You will look 100% better with your head up and a smile on your face. Greet people as if you have known them all your life, be kind and friendly. Nothing is worse than a woman that looks nice, but has a terrible attitude towards others.
Let's talk about men for a minute. Men are a huge part of our lives. We all want to attract a decent man and keep him. The deal with men is just this..they too are unique and special. They are all different with their likes and dislikes. One man may be attracted to blonds, another brunettes. One might like a smaller, short woman, while the next will be attracted to a bigger woman. Some men are turned on by necks, another ankles. Some like nice legs, some like nice butts. There is just no telling with men what they are looking for.
One thing they all want is a confident woman. A woman that takes good care of herself physically. Now that doesn't mean they want one that is running marathons every weekend (though I am sure that attracts some men). What I am talking about is a woman who washes her hair, keeps herself clean and manicured. A woman who pays attention to detail, gives off an air of confidence that lets a man know that you know you are important. It lets them know that you plan on maintaining yourself irregardless of what he does.
Maintaining yourself is the key, even after you are married. A lot of women make the mistake of reeling in a decent man and then just letting themselves go. The thought is well I have him now, so what is the point? The point is, nothing is solid or forever. You have to maintain yourself to keep a man interested in you. Don't make the mistake of wearing sweats and no make up every day. When your husband comes home, look nice.
Let's talk about jealousy. Jealousy is just insecurity and it is ugly. When you are out with your spouse/boyfriend, accept that he is going to look at other women. It is in his nature, that does not mean he doesn't think you are everything, it just means he is admiring the landscape. Don't ever expect that to be different, it won't be. He will just do it behind your back and lie about it. Sorry ladies, those are the facts. By the same token, you can look at other men. It is not a sin to look at other people, nor will it hurt your relationship. I cannot tell you how many women look at me, then their men and then back at me. Their man is careful, but he always looks. Women wake up, it is just human nature, and you are the one that looks silly with your jealousy. Just because a man is looking doesn't mean he has any intentions of leaving you for someone else. Have some confidence, then perhaps he will spend more of his time watching men look at you, then he'll have less time to look at the ladies.
When you are in a relationship, it is a careful dance. Men need to feel wanted and needed. They do not need to feel choked to death by having you hanging around their neck like a noose. If they need a little time and space, be glad to give it to them. Your attitude should be this: If another woman can get him, they can have him. Tell him that, because it is important that he realize that you have the ability to move past him. He is not the be all and end all, and he needs to stay on his toes to keep you. So yea, when he says he needs a little space, your reply should be "good idea". Then you make yourself busy and allow him that total time alone. No phone calls, no texts, and by Johnny, no tears. Time apart is just that. Gather your bearings and keep your imagination in your pocket, busy yourself with all the things you should be doing when you are just hanging out with him, and get some things done. No man wants a slobbering, whiny woman calling and saying "I NEEEEDDDD YOU!" That is scary, so just don't do it.
I guess my goal in writing this post is just to tell all of you women, you are special. Don't sit around wringing your hands and worry about what others think about you. Get up and embrace your life. If you are unhappy with your body, join a gym, go for a walk, get an exercise tape. Do it for you, nobody else, just for you. There is a wealth of help for you on the internet, and it is at your fingertips. Commit to being the best that you can be. Have confidence in yourself and show that to others. Smile and laugh, for you shall never pass this way again. Remember, the most important relationship you ever have, is with yourself. Love you and then you can be loved.
peace and love to the ladies :) shemelts
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