add me to the list of screwed up girls talking about their screwed up love lives with screwed up boys.
ha, sorry. that was a bit melodramatic.
nothing's that bad in retrospect.

i dont believe in adolescent love. youth is about spontaneity.
therefore, i refuse to say ive ever truly been in love.
its not denial really. just realism?

but i do know that the closest ive ever been is right now.
his name is aaron. and he's wonderful.
and he likes me too. and that in itself is wonderful.

but i have baggage. and im not good at sorting out my baggage.

see, ive liked aaron since last year.
but hes shy and im shy
and a relationship between two shy people moves slower than. well. than anything.
so neither of us made a move.

judge me if you want, but i kind of got into a thing with this other guy named george.
yes, while i still liked aaron.

anyway, my relationship with george was never official. we didnt really tell anyone.
we talked on the phone into ungodly hours in the morning. we hung out a lot.
but heres the catch to this seemingly good thing
george was ridiculously good at making me feel like shit  sometimes [am i even allowed to curse on here?]
i wont go into the gory specifics of george's talent, so i'll just leave it at that.

know that im not a sensitive girl. im really a tough cookie.
ive seen it all.
so its saying something that george could make me feel like that.

anyway,
george told me he loved me the other day.

and i need to tell him i dont love him. and i need to tell him about aaron.
but how?

help.