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| No Angel |
Well I am no angel that is for sure.
Last Night my husband & I went out for a nice evening and actually spent some well needed time together. However, I couldn't help feeling like a conciliation prize as his original plans fell through. No harm though, as I am sure it was my own head turning to stinking thinking and it was a nice evening.
The problem arose today as we argued over money (you may ask, what's unusual about a couple arguing over money? It is the # 1 reason for divorce after all.) Did I mention he is a compulsive gambler who goes to GA for the last several months. He hasn't gambled in months, but it doesn't change the fact that HE put us thousands of dollars in debt! I forgave him yes and he has learned his lesson. I firmly believe he will not gamble again, at least not anytime in the near distant future.
I have made several sacrifices financially for the well being of his sanity. I have helped contribute financially to all our responsibilities and debts. His problem is that I like to shop & buy nice things that he thinks is frivolous but what I think is frivolous is taking all our friends out on our boat tubing and wasting gas and investing large amounts of money on equipment for his side business that he swears will be for our future. How the hell do I even know if I will be alive in ten years let alone in my 60's? My mother's mother died at 42 and my mother died at 47! GIVE ME A FLIPPING BREAK! We very well may live that long, I don't know, but that's the point, who knows????
I'm tired of sacrificing what I want and I am tired of spending money on what he wants!!! When we have these arguments (by the way, it is not very often), I wonder why am I even married? it is not easy and takes a lot of work to maintain a marriage and quite frankly I really feel like I put in my work then him. I am tired of feeling hurt when he gets upset over me spending money, so what if I want to spend way more money on my sister who is having her first baby (MY NIECE!)??? I make money too, he is not my father or boss & I will not let him have the power to make me feel as if I am doing something wrong!
If he wants to be upset over money he can be upset with his own sorry ass!!!
I just wonder.........are marriage is under a lot of stress:
A) I can't bare children for certain (We plan to adopt).
B) He gambled away a lot of money.
C) I like to spend money.
D) I feel, I compromise & sacrifice way more than he does.
E) He works like a workaholic!!! We rarely see each other.
F) All our family lives 300 or more miles away!
Did I mention, that I want to kill him in times like these? Did I mention that we met in AA a long time ago and are both in recovery. That may explain the cross addictions for both of us and I am telling you right now I will not give my shopping up! I love it & am not letting go. If he gets sick of it enough he can f---ing leave! Quite frankly I am sick of him!
Once again, I am no angel but he is not the prince I made him out to be either!
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Posted by shedevil09 on 2009-08-09 18:55:18 | Rating: | Views: 46
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