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Well I am here and they are there and my baby boy broke his arm. I'm sad because I am not there to take care of him. Sometime I wonder if he gets hurt to draw attention to himself. Ever since the divorce and his dad getting custody he has been having accedents. No I don't think his dad is hurting him. Caleb would tell me if that were the case. He just keeps getting hurt and sometimes it is worse than other times. Like when he knocked his front teeth out on the pogo (sp) stick. Not something that was done on to get attention I know just an accedent. I just wish I was there to hold him, but he is not a baby anymore. 12 years old and growing.

I have a new picture of them that my mom sent when she saw them at christmas. Caleb looks like a teenager not a little boy anymore. I guess that is what happens when they turn 14. He calls all the time which I am thankful for that way I stay a part of thier lives.

Chris just turned 18. He wanted me at his party but I could not be there. Then he said it was selfish of himself to expect me to be able to make it. That made me cry.

So I am a sad mom today. I miss my kids. Carlos said he would fly me down if he needed to. But we really can't afford it just to make me feel better. I will be ok. I always am.