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I look at my life and I am sad. I am a mother, a wife, a college student, and a walmart employee. I feel so angry! I feel like my entire life has somehow went wrong and is crumbling beneath me and there is nothing else I can do. I feel like just running away and never looking back. Only me and my boys. A new start. no husband. No family . No anything to bring me down. I have been with my husband for 6 yrears now. Since I was 16. I have worked for walmart since I was 16. I feel I have started life to early. I want to quit my job and start all over but I make alot of money double what I would make at another job. I am so sad and depressed in my life. I had the best friends in high school and gave them all up for my husband. There were only a few of them but still why would I do that? Then, for some reason I felt he was all I needed. Now I look at my life and I am so sad. I feel my love slipping away from my husband more and more all the time. I punched him in the face last night because he was saying such awful things to me. I would have never punched him when we were teenagers. He would have never yelled at me though. He is so controlloing and bossy. I cant just do something he is always yelling at me and nothing is ever good enough for him. He is slowly cutting me down. I am afraid! Not of him hurting me but of him driving me insane. I am the daughther and grand daughter of legaly crazy family. I am slowly seeming crazier and crazier all the time. Not towards my children of course. I am towards him and myself. Why do I as a woman sit here and let this happen? I think I am afraid of life without him. I have been with him so long I am scared to leave him. I am sad to leave him and hurt him. Some days I love him a little some day I hate him. I try to tell him but he just says he will never hate me and he will always love me. He never shows it though. He doesnt say I love you, or kiss me or hug me unless we are making love. He is afraid to show his emotions. I say after 6 years he should have just sucked it up by now and gottin over it. I am so afraid and sad in my life I dont know what I should do. I want to leave but, I want to stay. I just want some answers or help to my problems. I am about to lose my home to foreclosure and I am so scared. I dont want to lose my house. I love my house. Its not like I will be homeless but I will be sad to lose a home I have worked so hard for. I try to say its just a material thing and if I lose it maybe God has something better in store for me in the future. I lately am so inlove with God. He is so great to all of us. I hope something comes around soon to help me in my life. I am freaking out on the inside. I pray for my marriage and my anger. I am so angry.
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Posted by shawna201985 on 2008-01-28 15:25:04 | Rating: | Views: 192
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I am so sorry
I believe that people go thru happy, sad and depression points in their lives. I say that happy, sad, depressed feelings are temperory.
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Posted by Plakola
on 2008-01-31 14:27:13
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I feel very bad for you.
A lot of things may have changed since you posted this, but let me tell you from the oposite side. I'm the monster you see your husband as. I'm cutting my newly wed wife down bit by bit with my bossyness and my inability to show flexability. It's driving me insane just knowing what I'm doing to her and I feel so absolutely guilty.
I hope you do whatever it takes to find yourself again, because when it comes down to it, if he truly loves you, he'll understand that you need to be whole.
Again, I'm sorry you're experiencing such a thing.
Caid Johnson.
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Posted by caidjohnson
on 2008-08-06 13:47:09
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