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Today was a list day.
I'm a list fanatic. I constantly make lists. Lists of places I want to go. People i need to drop by and see. American classics I need to read. BRITISH classics I need to suffer through to be more sophisticated. My list of favorite smells, cars, experiences, flowers, etc. etc.
I'm a list girl.
So today was a list day. But not just any list day. Today was a day that saved me... for the time being. Do you ever have those days where there's a constant gnawing of uselessness. Of disregard. Of complete and utter ugliness. Today was shaping up to consume me in this void of self-pity. But the paper and pen, and possibly a little help from the Lord (he HAS to get sick of my sorry behind sometimes), I thought to write down all the things I have been blessed with... and to get my mind off the one thing that I seem to want.
I know Jesus. He knows me.
Parents that love me, even if it's hell for them to like each other.
Loyal, authentic friends.
Fun and caring roommates.
An awesome renthouse (even by college kid standards)
The chance to travel overseas.
I got to swim in the Indian Ocean.
I have friends on different continents that really care about me.
I have impecable health.
I have a great job with people I learn from daily (good and bad)
I've walked the rim of the Grand Canyon with people I love.
Roadtrip across three states with 2 of the faithfuls.]
I have people who won't lie to me, even if I'd rather hear the lies.
I have an awesome car that's being paid for (thanks Mom and Dad)
I've actually seen a few real-life Christians in my life... which has made all the difference.
I've never been pregnant, I don't have any STDs, I've never been divorced (or married for that matter)
I can still fit into the jeans from highschool (with moderate sucking in)
I am steadily making it through college. To where, I don't know... but this is a positive list.
I've made mistakes.
(and there are some others that I can't remember.... and I really don't want to go on and on....)
So. The list assauged the gnawing. It really kicked it's tail. I felt like a bad ass again. I think it's ok to feel like that sometimes. Sometimes you just get tired of being the extra in a B rated movie. Sometimes you want to the the starlet.... of the B rated movie.
Today:
I did wash my car!
Clothes were dropped off
I discovered my overdraft at the bank (not cool, reduction of points gathered by previous victories)
I reffed 5 hours worth of volleyball, and witnessed the best game I've ever seen apart from TV.
Cleaned up cat pee (WHY!!!)
Consumed more pop than I have all together in the last 4 months
Hung out with a good friend. Manicure on Saturday!
Found out that people actually read all of this stuff.
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Posted by shadowed on 2007-12-19 02:05:04 | Rating: | Views: 70
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