one of the hardest decisions would have to be deciding if you can continue a relationship or not.

you don't know what you're walking out on.. you don't know what could've been.. you don't know if you're right or wrong. you pretty much have to put all trust in your intution - and that applies to every decision, but when it comes deciding if you can stay in a relationship.. you have 20x more intense emotions wrapped around it coming from both sides.

he's the first guy i ever put my barriers down with. the first guy i really opened up to.. you know? when you're no longer scared to really allow yourself to FEEL and really put yourself in a vulnerable state. he just seemed so comforting and so trustworthy, so it just felt right to knock those barriers down.. and there's been so many guys i couldn't do this with at all.

now i'm just filled with fucking resentment - too much resentment. forgiving has always been an issue with me. he lied so badly, he hid things, his word went to absolute shit.. and it's so fucking crushing when you find that out about someone you REALLY trusted. it's just shocking. you don't know WHAT to believe anymore.. i can honestly say finding out he lied and hid things the way he did was one of the most painful experiences i've ever experienced.