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Last night I dreamt about the ass. We were in court. His other personality kicked in. He looks at me and tells me, don't worry, this will be over soon. We'll be friends again and work together. I look at him and tell him, there is no way I will ever be freinds with you again, go to hell....you will never get the opportunity again to stab me in the back again. The strange part was, I sounded like I had a speach impedement. The words were all muffled and could barely be understood. What's up with that???
Not dream related....
I have given him numerous chances throughout the years that we have been divorced. I have bent over backwards to keep him involved in our children's lives, even to the point of dropping them off at his house for his visitations. Always, always.....he strikes out at me at some point.
I forwarded the texts that he sent to my teen daughter and I (during one of his drunken stupors) to the attorney's office. I also sent him an email and asked him to please stop belittling and threatening our daughter. She is currently in therapy and he is part to blame. I asked him if he would please consider therapy, regardless of what our daughter says, she needs and deserves her father's support and approval.
The ass replied that he is sick of her behavior and the way she treats people. Basically, until she can get over herself, he is not interested. This is the 2nd attempt I have made to get him into therapy, hoping he would realize that he needs to change, if he would like to have his daughter's love and respect back. In any case, he declined. Needless to say, I forwarded his response to the attorney as well.
In one sense, I am relieved that he declined. Teen daughter would have been so upset with me, if he had accepted. She is adement that she wants nothing to do with him ever again. I am relieved because I do not want her exposed to the lifestyle he leads. If this child can push him completely out of her life, then I won't have to make an effort to keep him in it any longer.
In another sense, I am sad. I just don't understand why a father would not want to work towards repairing a relationship, that he damaged, with his daughter. You would think an adult could admit that it takes 2 people to make a relationship work. I guess I should have known better. He didn't catch on to that when we were in marriage counseling. Grrrr
I am being told that this is typical alcoholic behavior. Everyone else is the problem, they are in denial that they have a problem, they lie constantly. (His email back to me had many contridictions/lies in it). He mentions that I have kept information on her therapy from him, but yet goes on to state that he has spoken with her therapist. Smart move, huh? Dumb ass....
Oh well, I will take one day at a time. Once we are through court this time, I am praying to god that he doesn't file any more frivolous cases against me. It's getting really old! I would like this man to completely remove himself from my life. I would love nothing better.
I am struggling with my teen son moving into his home. Teen son is starting to drink. I hate having to accept that I cannot/do not having any control on making my son realize how drinking can take over your life. I feel that gap between my son and I growing, as does my teen daughter. It really does suck!
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Posted by selfcentered on 2008-09-05 13:37:56 | Rating: | Views: 34
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Hold strong, there is a dream site that can help you figure out the dream. I have had dreams about my ex and the kids and finally wrote everything down and then using that dream site found that I should be normal. dreams are your unconous trying to figure out the problems that you are strugling with. keep strong and just record your thought here where we can encourage you to be strong.
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Posted by afathermissingthe...
on 2008-09-05 14:23:45
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Maybe unlike ass there is hope for your son. I'd say he's in his party college days and lets just hope and pray it doesn't keep that kind of hold on him. I hope it's just a stage he wakes up from.
The down side is Ass's making him think it's great.
Why would your ex want to be updated on your teens therepy if he thinks she can just get over herself?
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Posted by anotherdaze
on 2008-09-05 15:52:52
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I hate when parents can't have a relationship with their children...really makes no sense that a grown man can act this way toward his teenage daughter...he is the one that sounds like a child!!!
Hopefully, in time he will grow up, but for now if he has drinking issues, your daughter is probably better off. I am always thinking of you and your children...I will also keep you in my prayers :)
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Posted by slowtolearn
on 2008-09-06 13:40:58
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