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Last night after work, I picked up my teen daughter from school. She and I have this connection that we can tell when something is wrong with the other. Those that read yesterday’s blog, know that I was dealing with an issue of feeling hatred towards the ass again. I don’t like to hate anyone, for anything. It takes too much effort and time. He is not worth either.
Teen daughter looks at me and asks, what’s bothering you? Hmmm, I use to never discuss anything with her that pertained to her father. I have always felt that any feelings either teen had for him, would solely be based on their experiences with him. It is now going on 8 months that teen daughter has refused to have anything to do with the ass because of the way he treats her. So I explained to her that I had a restless night, being in court is really stressful, and that I am fighting with some feelings that I thought I had under control. I can feel the tears stinging in my eyes as I tell her this.
She then says, “Mom, I believe it is possible to hate someone.” Wow, how did she know? Because I mentioned court being stressful? Because I have always taught them to never say they hate someone? She then says, “I can tell you have had very little sleep, you can’t let this get to you.” She then goes into hate being the strongest emotion that one can feel, even far stronger then the emotion “love”. Stay with me, this is a teen girl explaining this to me. She then says, “If you allow the hate emotion to consume you, you can’t truly love those around you. Besides that mom, he isn’t worth it. Don’t let him get to you.” Ironic, I am usually the one telling her not to let the ass get to her.
She then goes into how, when the ass dies, he will die alone. He can’t take his money with him, his possessions….when someone dies, that person lives on through others, through love. He will not live on in anyone, because he truly doesn’t have anyone that loves him. I am still trying to figure this part of the conversation out. She lost me here. She also told me she would much rather live in my home where there is love, then in his…because money doesn’t buy love.
We then discussed his treatment of her. I told her that I had stopped letting him get to me years ago. I can’t help but wonder if he treats her badly because he knows how much it pisses me off. She said she believes so. She also thinks he never liked her because she looks so much like me. When he looks at her, he see’s me. Is this possible? Seriously, can a person do this? Ha, she even said she is glad she looks like me instead of him because he’s an ugly person inside and out. Crazy girl!
She has another therapy session on Friday. I will continue to take her to therapy, as I realize even though we are close, there are things that my daughter doesn’t feel she can discuss with me. That’s o.k. with me. If taking her to therapy helps her, then she’ll go as long as the therapist feels she needs to. Her therapy sessions and medications use every cent of child support her ass pays towards her, so be it. After her therapy session, we are going to go take her driving test….again. God help me!! Please let her pass it this time. If not, she will be required to go through driving school again, which will cost me around $1,000.00 for the full sessions. I don’t have any extra funds at this time because of court!! She really has been driving much better lately. And, because the ass said she will never be able to pass it, I am that much more determined to get her driving!
On another note, I have found that I struggle with hate “emotion” as my teen daughter calls it, right after meeting with my attorney. I am going to work on that. Deep meditation and praying for a few days before each meeting with him is my plan! Wish me luck! I met with the attorney on Monday, so I should be doing better tomorrow?? We shall see!
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Posted by selfcentered on 2008-10-08 12:26:47 | Rating: | Views: 36
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Sounds like your daughter got her better judgement skills from you. You are blessed to have such a close relationhsip with her. I hope that she passes her driving test this time too. She will likely be even more of a help to you (running errands) once she is able to drive. I hope that all goes smoothly and you are able to stay strong through this court process.
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Posted by merrynbright
on 2008-10-08 12:52:44
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You may have judged that a bit early. Eeek.... Check out the new blog titled "what"?.......grrrr..... Yes, I sure hope she passes it!! Sure would be a great help, since she refuses to take the school bus back and forth to school!!
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Posted by selfcentered
on 2008-10-08 17:04:52
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Wow, your daughter is well beyond her years. It's really sad for me to think she has these strong emotions at such an early age. You are so lucky to have her, just keep telling her how much YOU love her and maybe she will change her notion that Hate is stronger that Love. I have a good feeling about the drivers test she will pass..................
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Posted by 4kids23
on 2008-10-14 05:10:52
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4kids23: Ha, I have to wonder if it's meant for her drive. I took her to take the test after her therapy session on Friday. They take the last driver out at 5pm. We got there at 4pm. They told us they were full for the day and couldn't take any more testers. Grrrr We shall try again on Thursday! Sometimes she is well beyond her years, other times not. You never know what the day brings with her!
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Posted by selfcentered
on 2008-10-14 10:17:35
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