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| I'm venting, watch out...everyone step aside. |
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaRGH! I just had to get that out of the way.
I am completely solid when it comes to people confiding in me or trusting me with something confidential. I've never been untrustworthy, and I would never air out someone elses' dirty laundry. But if other people are involved with the situation and I give you my thoughts (which also involve other people), I'm not just going to talk behind their back or whittle away at their trust in me by not telling them what I've said about them as well.
My thought is, 'God is always watching'. My actions and the words I speak can either cut someone down or build them up. And when I constructively speak without bias, it's usually because everyone has a part in the blame. Why would I not tell everyone the truth? Why would I chance that someone hears (because it inevitably happens), and then says "you know what? I would have gotten over the fact that this message upset me, but I really would've appreciated it more had you been direct with me. For you to speak this to someone else when my name came up in this conversation and not telling me makes me not trust you." GOD FORBID!
I love my friends, but not enough to compromise my own morals and ethics (along with the truth) because your pride was hurt or you feel like this was "confidential" (the others involved already knew about it anyway, because this specific person went to them for advice.)
Just when things start to calm down in my life, everything else around me goes into this swirly-cone of chaos. I'm OVER this whole drama thing; I'm tired of it. I went through it for ten years and have finally gotten to a peaceful stage in my life. I hate drama; I feign the idea of it being in my life in any form. WHY DO YOU THINK I GOT MARRIED???? So I have some sort of semblance of ORGANIZED CHAOS and NO DRAMA!!
I would really like to focus on my own life, my own marriage, my relationship with the Lord, and trying to fix things that are wrong with me rather than having to "babysit" my grown friends (and family, not to mention).
I hate to sound selfish and mean, but no one felt sorry for me when I was going through rough patches. It's just one of those things...you pray about it, you deal with it, you fix it, and move on. It's called 'pick your battles and make them few'. Petty stuff is just that- petty.
I guess this is just my mentality. I'm not sure if others share my thoughts on this or not, but I'm just tired of feeling obligated to get involved when people ask me what I think. I really don't mind someone telling me- I just don't want people asking my opinion unless they are ready for the consequences of that; anyone who knows me, knows I don't sugar-coat things or beat around the bush. I'm very straight-forward.
I just hope this ends soon....
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Posted by selah916 on 2009-04-20 11:20:45 | Rating: | Views: 115
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