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How many people that read this have felt TRUE LOVE? A love that completely surrounds you like a blanket? Tell me- when you close your eyes can you picture a perfect moment with them? Can you smell their scent and feel contentment? Can you feel there hand hold yours at the mere thought of it? I can every single time I wish.
Before I go to far, I have said some hurtful things, that I regret. If Leigha does not return, than that is her choice. BUT- she swears that she shall, that I should trust her, and I will. Wholeheartedly.
I have too. I have second guessed her since the moment she went down to care for her ailing mother. If I do not show faith in her, then what good is anything I have done? I showed no faith in her on numerous occasions, and that is one of my faults, and I know has to do with her distancing herself from me at times.
Part of the problems we have endured are MANY. Including family members( on both sides), have conspired to keep us apart. That is too long to get into how and why, and I think will remain private.
Their treachery will be dealt with in time whether she returns or not.
I know that her being gone has not diminished my love for her, and has in fact grown by leaps and bounds.
Will she come back and be my baby? I must believe she will. I have to. Because if I don't have faith in her, then I don't love her. But I do love her, so I will show full confidence in her.
For those of you that are young(god saying that makes me feel old), and in the beginning stages where it's all happy happy, just wait until pain becomes involved. Then look into her or his eyes and see how committed you are. Love is not just bliss, and great sex, and huge smiles. The greater part of love is when your apart, or tragedy happens, when things are not so great, then see how committed you are. When you feel like your having a heart attack, when you cry relentlessly, when you just want to throw your hands up and say fuck it all, maybe even say it, when you suffer, but you stay instead.
I grew up in a throw away family- My dad has been married 4 times, my mom 3, my sister 3, me twice. I'm used to it. I joke about it being a family tradition. But not with her. She is the ONE. She is worth the risk. WE have come to far to abandon this, and I will not.
As long as she has love in her heart for me, than I cannot and will not abandon her. EVER.
Am I a fool? Am I blinded by love? Am I a hopeless romantic dreamer? Perhaps. Time will tell. But I don't think so.
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Posted by seether on 2008-09-25 01:44:59 | Rating: | Views: 63
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i have been to there - the happy happy part of the relationship when i was younger. now that i am a little bit older, we are at the verge of falling apart. i myself would like to have a heart attack and die instantly, would like to cry and do nothing but cry, and would like to surrender. . . . and abandon everything. but i could not. i must stick to the fight, stick to the challenge, stick to the family. the pain, the heartache is nothing as compared to losing without fighting. . . . . . .
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Posted by chances
on 2008-09-25 01:57:13
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I agree, you have to give it every chance you can, you have to make sure you are 100% sure of something before walking away. I went through so much in my time with my now ex. I put myself through the mill, it didn't work out in the end, but I have no regrets. I am disappointed with the ending, but I have no regrets, he may have. I gave it my all. He did not.
Wish you the best. You are not a fool.
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Posted by EasyToSay
on 2008-09-25 02:12:12
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Seether..You must follow your heart and do what is best for you. I pray that Leigha will come back to you and that the family will take a step back and stay out of it. Having been married twice already, I am sure you know what your heart wants and needs. If Leigha is what you want, then go for it. It is probably difficult for her as well to be away from you. Trust is a huge part of a relationship and when you have all these people spreading negativity, it makes it hard to trust. We all say things when we are mad at our spouse (I have for sure), but that doesn't lessen your ability to move past those hurt feelings and start afresh. Good luck. Keep writing..it will help you work through all these emotions.
peace ;) shemelts
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Posted by shemelts
on 2008-09-25 08:16:26
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Reading story of others often brings me to think another side. So true. Love deserves for happy but you have no way to avoid worries, feeling down and tragedy comes. All suddenly. But once you two stay together and overcome it, love will be stronger. Thanks Seether. It's great for you share the story and I read it.
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Posted by winnieice
on 2008-09-25 12:51:13
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Your love for her runs deep...one can only stand and see that much from ur posts and poems. I hope the future you desire comes to you...Luck!
K
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Posted by lastblastkl
on 2008-10-02 18:59:02
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