Thoughts.com Blogs - Player...wait so am I?

View Blog

Player...wait so am I?

Last night after visiting him..at first things were going great. He kept looking at me like he had missed me. We sat on the couch watching some TV for a while, and he even held my hand some. Then we headed to the bedroom. We ended up having this passionate moment. He wanted me to lay my head on his chest and he put my hand over his heart. He wrapped his arm around me and held me tight. I just laid there savoring a moment I knew would not happen often and just wanted to take it all in. He thought I was going to sleep.

Well we began kissing, and I am sure you know where it went from there. I won't give you the gorry details. BUT the sex wasn't as long as usual which made me think he hasn't been getting it the last few days that we haven't been together. Hmmmm...

i wasn't getting this good vibe even though we had just had a good night together. I was battling weither or not to check his cell phone. (He's done it to me several times, and me as well) He always passes out cold after sex and I knew I could get away with looking thru it without him knowing. SO the battle in my mind was...if he is doing sumtin, do I really want to know? What am I going to do if he is?
I'll feel better if I look and he's not. Check the phone or not?

Ok...so I check the phone. To my suprise, but not suprised...he is talking to THREE other girls besides me. Text messages, phone calls...etc. He has my photo stored on his phone no other girls. I pay attention to the call times. He's calling 2-3 of us at the same time...with in min of ea other. Its as if he's seeing who can come over and then he works his list. I'm not the first one to call either. It blows my mind bc I am the one who was over there 9 days straight. So obvisouly, he has time to text ppl just not me. Though 95% of his text's were to me.

I am not sure if I even have a right to be mad, seeing as how I am talking to other guys as well. I am only physically seeing one other guy and thats the sweet guy. But talking to I'd say 4-5 besides him. Do I have room to be upset?

I thought of all the ways I could get him back in a classy bitch way. Like taking a picture of me and him on his phone in a compromising (for him not me) manner and texting all the girls saying "your not the only one, but there is one less now"

Oh god...its just horrible. I hate the games, I hate the battle of wits and not know what to do how to do it or when to do it. I have made up my mind I am NOT making first contact with him and I won't answer when he calls. I'll return the call later...I want to make him feel like he's made me feel so many times. Yet, i don't want to be like that. I guess I want to keep him around till I figure out what to do with him. Am I crazy?!?!?