i do want you.

i do love you.

i admit it. i even wrote it down...

but i cant think about it, i cant allow myself to FEEL it.

because when i do, it consumes me...........

completely

it feels like it would feel so good............................

and that scares me,

everyone around me would be hurt,

im so afraid, what am i loosing, what am i giving up.....

i save them,

only to slaughter us,

to slaughter you, .....

god im sorry