i know what i want.

but im not allowed to have both.

its not fair to them, and its not fair to my heart.

he makes me happy, but just to see your name gives me butterflies.

he takes care of me-in ways im scared u or anyone else ever would....

would u?

 - would u realllly?

u said so many things     that made my world spin,

     then u seemed 2 not even remember....

u cant do that, !!!   and neither can i .... , !!!

the thought of ur words only being words of loneliness kills me.

cuts me deep....

but, is that what they are?

and my voice- what is it I speak?

am i too -just unknowingly lonely?

....or is this real? ....could it be real...........

and is real- with YOU- what i even want?

im spinning and im spinning, and eventually i will fall..............

but 4 u.....

i think i already have................

this SUCKSSSSSSSSSSS