Tues 31 July 2007

Wow I wrote a lot last night. But you know what? It really helped get past the minor anxiety I was feeling. I was listening to my ipod as well which helped. I feel pretty good tonight actually. I've had berocca - I think the B vitamins help, and Panadol, which helped the tension in my stomach. I listened to music when I made dinner, and got heaps of hugs and cuddles from David, which really lifted me. Despite all my frustrations, he realy is so wonderful and supportive. I know he doesn't fully understand, but he tries, and that means the world to me. The only thing I can't talk to him about is his mum and how affected I still am about the incident on her birthday 12 months ago. I do kind of understand why he gets so defensive, I mean, it's his mother! But he makes excuses for her and tramples all over my feelings in the process. Still, it's probably best not to talk to him about it anyway, otherwise I'm doing exactly what she threatened me about; "coming between her and her son" whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean. She should look at her own fucked up gay relationship with the Dragon bitch from hell before she points the finger anywhere else for her failing relationship with her sons. I wonder if she did the pointy-waggle-fucking-bitch treatment to the Dragon for driving Timothy away? I doubt it. Fucking psycho man hating bitch. Why can't she see it and end it and finally have a normal relationship with her sons again? Every conversation she has with David is so... business-like? Is that the word? It's like she's devoid of heart and personality and covers all the bases like a work acquaintance. I'm getting frustrated and pissed off and anxious now, I'm going to put my ipod back on.