Tuesday 13 November
I'm really impressed with the number of team leader shifts I'm getting lately. I think I might do my frontline management course and apply for a TL position. Of course, only if it means I don't get transferred. I love it where I am. The clients love me, they're like family to me, and I don't want to leave them. Annie quite often grabs me in a big warm hug and says "Don't you ever leave!"

My brother is another concern right now. On Sunday night he messaged me, sounding really down, so after the kids went to bed I went over to see him for a few hours. I'd worked that morning, and was starting at 0800 Monday, but family comes first. WorkDave had arrived after I finished (purposely hanging around after I clocked off just so I could see him) and we had a cuddle or two and were kissing in the office when one of our client's family member's walked past. I think he saw us, but he didn't say anything, at least not to any staff. Whether he said anything to Gladys, his wife, I don't know. Anyway, so I went to see Rick, and he was upset about his girlfriend being a crackwhore. His words. Dave rang me when he finished work, and I met him near the library. We talked and smoked and he had a few cones (I'd got him some weed from Trish), and he worked up to telling me he was falling in love with me. It took him a while to get it out, he was nervous I think. We talked and kissed and snuggled til far too late. I got home at 0400, got 3 hours sleep and went to work. Last night I fell asleep at 1900 and slept for 11 hours. I was so refreshed and with it, thank goodness coz I had a TL shift today.

I'm off for the next 2 days. I let slip to Andy (accidently) and Carmen (on purpose, I think she suspects something anyway), and of course Simone that I'm "seeing someone". If they knew it was Dave, they'd just die. It's going to be hilarious. We have to get found out or admit it sooner or later. Dave's so sweet though, he's worried about how it's going to affect my standing there. I'm pretty high up and respected, and he isn't, although he's improved a lot in recent months, there's still people that doubt him and put him in the "slacker" basket. He is actually thinking of me. But I can't hold out much longer. I'm dying to tell SOMEone. I figure if I keep talking about this fantastic, sweet, wonderful guy and how good he makes me feel (to a select few anyway), make people happy for me and see how happy I am, then LATER reveal that it's Dave, maybe that'll soften the blow. Maybe not, too, but oh well. I think I'll let Carmen know one day soon. I was close to telling Simone today, but didn't get the chance.

I can't wait to see him tomorrow.