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Wednesday 12 December
What a week. I don't even know where to start. Nan went back into hospital last week. She has an infection in her ulcerated leg, and the infection travelled to her bone. They're going to amputate below the knee. That's pretty devastating for an 86 year old. Well, anyone, really. Myself included, and it isn't even my leg!
Friday was Dave's birthday. I took a family leave day, and messaged everyone we knew and invited them over for a barbeque and drinks. A lot of them were busy, since it was kind of last minute, but Scott, Sandra, Julie, Trish and even Naomi who I haven't seen in months all came. Naomi, Scott and Sandra brought their kids, so with all of theirs, plus Logan, Callan and Paula, there were a fair few kids! The night went okay. I got Scott to do the barbie (aussie slang for barbeque, for all you uninitiated), me & trish had made up a few salads, and that was dinner. Then as it got later, the kids retreated inside to play the Playstation, and Trish, Julie, Naomi, Sandra and I retreated to the chill out lounge (i.e. the shed) for a bong. We stayed in there talking and smoking for a while, when Dave came down and made a remark about how he had to stop drinking because he was on call, and how the kids should be in bed, and how he should have had a party next weekend instead, when he can drink, and not have to worry about the kids. Trish looked up and said something like, "Relax, Dave, Suzie's gone to a lot of trouble to get this together for you tonight," and then Dave bit back, and next thing we knew, they were having a full-on screaming match. At one point, Trish called him a big sook, and Dave retaliated with "You're the biggest whinger I've ever met, always complaining about your ankle and your back and all your workcover bullshit!" There was silence for a few seconds, and I'm not sure what order things happened in, whether she charged at him before or after he'd ordered everyone to leave, but Naomi and Julie bailed almost straight away. Trish went to punch Dave in the head, missed, and he fell against the side of the shed. I rang my brother, and Trish rang Chris, as Dave retreated to the house. Rick said basically "Get the fuck out for fuck's sake". I didn't realise Scott and Sandra were still there til Scott came back out, always the hero, attempting some kind of mediation. Eventually, Dave came back down, he'd gotten overly simplistic feedback from Scott, and was under the impression we'd just called all the "boys" to come and bash him or something. I don't remember a lot after that, but Trish and Dave made up & called a truce, I got some more food out, Chris arrived when he finished work, and we played games til about 4am, when Trish & Chris left and Dave & I went to bed. On Saturday, we slept in a bit, Dave was grouchy all day, he kept saying how I'd had drugs in his house, how all I wanted was a little cone party with my stoner friends, not a birthday party for him, and how dare I bring that stuff into HIS house. Then he went on to demand why WorkDave had been to the kids Christmas concert, they'd mentioned they met him. I defended myself for a while, saying I'm not the massive stoner drug addict he makes me out to be, that WorkDave was in the car when I picked the kids up from after school care, but went home before the concert, and was only in the car because he'd helped me with Rick that day, and what did he care anyway, it's not like he bothered to come, he was more worried about his lawnmower not being in the shed, that it wasn't my fault I didn't know any more of his friends, and that no one else was able to come. But I gave up after a few attempts, it was like talking to a brick wall. So with all that, when I left to meet WorkDave, and Trish sent me a message that said, "I'm sorry hunni, i just wanted u 2 b happy wit him just for 1 nite", I burst into tears again, and again when Dave rocked up and hugged me, and I told him the whole story, pausing only to ring work and burst into tears again while telling Hank I couldn't work that afternoon. I found out later he'd told Andy I was "pretty upset" when I rang. I was on the verge of an anxiety attack, but staved it off with chain smoking and a few cones. And lots of hugs and understanding from the wrong Dave. We hung out under the premise that I was working, and once I'd got everything off my chest, had a cry, and calmed down, his best friend Luke rang, we talked to him for a while, arranged to go over & see him, then when he hung up, Dave kissed me. I don't know if I was just stoned, but that kiss went forever, and I got so lost in it, I felt like I was floating out in space. It was amazing, soft, sensual, everything else just disappeared. So we climbed into the backseat and had sex, which was all over pretty quickly, but exciting just the same. I feel like a naughty teenager. We went and got KFC and went to the house his friend Luke was housesitting. So I finally met Luke, and he finally met me, after hearing Dave talk about me incessantly for the last 7 weeks, maybe longer.
Got home around the time I would have if I'd been working. Felt a little better, slept like a log. So when Dave came into the bedroom around 11 and started yelling at me to get up, I was a little defensive, to say the least. Especially seeing as his mother had been to see Paula and give Dave his birthday present. Finally, after lunch, he sat down and laid down the law. "No drugs in this house, and Trish is not welcome here" is the basic gist of it. I argued that I didn't want his mum here either, she scares me. He argued that for a while, and more arguments ensued, going from one thing to the next, and at one point, he said, "well, we have to think about what kind of relationship we have here" and i said, "what do you think it is?" and he replied, "I thought it was the best thing that ever happened to me," and I burst into tears. Why?! If this is the best thing that ever happened to him, why does he make me feel like a burden? Why does he make me feel unimportant? Why doesn't he kiss me or hug me or show me he feels that way? I was literally surprised to learn he feels that way. I told him all that too. I guess what it comes down to is he's just not an overly affectionate person, and I am.
Worked Monday night, saw WorkDave for a bit, had a quickie, I wasn't going to, I was starting to feel kind of cheap, and we were both a bit stoned. He gets really horny and emotional when he's stoned. I hadn't had any weed since Saturday night, so I had one with him. He dribbled shit for ages about how I'm the "MILF" guys talk about, I'm every man's dream, I'm beautiful, sexy, playful, smart, sexy, pretty, sexy, then he gave me one of the forever kisses, and I was gone. So I rode him in the back seat. Went home. Got up and went to work yesterday. Borrowed $10 off WorkDave for petrol. Pretty sure everyone at work knows about me & Dave now.
Then it all happened again. I was doing a team leader shift, just started my 1800 medication round, Mark was following me everywhere and grinning and laughing, I had Trevor wheeling his chair around my feet wanting to go to bed so he could watch TV and singing his "You are my Sunshine" song (Sunshine is his new nickname for me - it's better than the one Rochelle came up with. After I'd told Andy one day I'd had so much sex I probably had a higher sperm count than him, Rochelle decided to call me Pippi CumBucket. Pippi because I wear my hair in plaits at work a lot, and she reckons I look like Pippi Longstocking. Cum Bucket because, well, figure it out yourself, I'm not drawing you a diagram). When my mobile rang. It was Dave chucking a hissy fit about not being able to pick the kids up on time. I rang the after school care, then tried Trish, Scott, Sandra, and finally, WorkDave. WorkDave could pick them up. Deal with it later. Take them to Trish's. Then MyDave refused to pick them up from her place. Thought he wouldn't be safe to go there. Oh grow up. So I ended up going there after work and staying the night, dragging my ass off the futon to get the kids home to get changed, and to school this morning. Funny thing was, I hadn't even messaged Julie, but she chose that point, just after I'd organised all this, to text me. So I told her the story. She offered herself and her mother's services to pick up the boys if I ever needed a hand. Isn't she sweet! The thing that got to me most with MyDave was the thing we'd already had an argument over that same week, and about once a week for the last couple of weeks! The kids, my shifts, and how stressed he gets when I'm on afternoons, and he wanted me (again!) to swap my afternoon shifts because it didn't fit in to his work schedule. Maybe he's looking at it all wrong. Maybe HIS work doesn't fit in with MY work schedule. Why oh WHY is his job more important than mine?! I'm a fucking nurse for crying out loud, he's just a fucking technician. I help people LIVE. HE puts in systems to protect people's STUFF. Says a lot about our different values, huh?
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Posted by scratchkitty on 2008-01-16 01:29:25 | Rating: | Views: 100
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