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I thought I would post this small short story of mine for anyone who is interested enough to read it. Any feedback would be welcomed too. Thank you all. Enjoy!
Start Again
Ben stood at the edge of the building and stared down at the pavement below. "Look at that!", he thought to himself, "Day in, day out - It's always the same old, tired faces!"
Six stories below him, three people were lined up at the same bus stop they came to ever day, quite oblivious to the drama unfolding high above their heads.
"You could tell the time by them", Ben said aloud to himself, "If I could tell the time that is!"
He had grown tired and weary of life in the big city. Despite all the rumours and promises, he had never found the 'good life' they'd told him about so long ago. Now, with no home to call his own, no way of knowing where his next meal would come from, he had finally reached rock bottom.
Every day, he was exposed to the pollution from the countless vehicles that spewed their toxic fumes into his scrawny chest and he had to constantly dodge and weave through the throng that vied for space in this cut-throat world, or they would walk all over him as they went about their own lives.
"No!", he decided firmly, "It's time to leave this place."
With that, he hesitantly stepped forward. For a brief micro-moment, he seemed to just hang there in space, caught in time between the safety of the ledge and plummeting to certain doom. Then the moment passed and he felt himself begin to fall. Despite himself, he held his eyes open and watched as the pavement, the people, the cars, all began to rush towards him, gathering speed. In a second, he knew, it would be all over.......
As he drew nearer to the people in the bus line, he spread his arms, waiting for the impact to come, For a moment he continued to fall but then, almost miraculously, the wind tucked itself under him and he began to rise. Unseen and unheard, he swooped across the street, climbed higher into the sky and turned back over the building he had been standing on only a moment ago.
Without so much as a backward glance, he headed away from the city for the last time, leaving the people below oblivious to the passing flight of just another young starling........!
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Posted by scotslad60 on 2007-09-14 08:30:15 | Rating: | Views: 158
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Makes me wonder if he really hit the ground and his spirit left his body...or that he got out of dying..and was just set free.
This was sad, beautiful...and very thought provoking.
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Posted by DifficultSoul
on 2007-09-16 13:16:55
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your ending is so unpradictable. i had to read it 3 times before i realised, i thought it was wonderful writin.
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Posted by bubblydi
on 2007-09-16 16:15:52
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Thank you both for your comments.
I like your view there Difficultsoul, I hadn't even thought about that 'angle' myself so all credit to you for spotting that. lol
Thank you too bubblydi. I like to try and sneak a 'twist in the tale' in there too - doesn't always work though.
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Posted by scotslad60
on 2007-09-17 07:12:58
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That was some good writing!
J
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Posted by OKOFCOURSE
on 2007-09-21 05:57:21
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I've only just found your story, but I'm so glad I have. It has a wonderful twist in the tail. Thank you.
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Posted by Triforium
on 2007-09-29 13:48:52
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