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| Is it ever okay to lie?? YOUR OPINIONS PLEASE!!
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And I'm not talking about a little white lie, or maybe I am. But I think the lie I might have to tell would be more appropriately classified as a bald-faced lie. LOL!!
I cannot bring myself to crush someone's dreams, or to criticize someone's creation. If a person writes a poem and I think it is lame, I'll keep that opinion to myself and hope they don't ask me for it. Unless it is a school assignment and I am asked to critique someone's work, and look for possible misspellings or grammatical errors, which happens a lot, I will not talk about the content of someone else's writing.
However, I am now in the position where it would be a bald-faced lie if I were to say I liked the last book I read.
A friend of mine just had a book published, and I read most of it just tonight. It was absolutely awful. This friend went through a publisher who didn't edit the book; they obviously are just out for the money. I know I want to see my novel published, but I will not go out like that. If I have to pay a college English professor or English major to edit my book before I submit it, so be it. But this book was poorly written and it consisted of lots of perverse sexual acts that actually made me uncomfortable, especially because I know this friend from church! Some of the sexual acts involved men with other men, and I was kind of taken aback...Perhaps I am a prude but to me there is nothing sexy about reading about someone putting someone's entire penis and balls in their mouth...I was like WHOA!! That's a bit too much!!
Now I am confused because of several things--one it has been rumored or thought for years that the author of this novel was gay, but he has not ever come out and said it. But my question is this--why would you attempt to sell that type of book to someone you go to church with? What am I supposed to say?
Perhaps I am a huge nerd, but not only were the story and characters poorly developed, but the grammar made the book almost unbearable. The lack of editing definitely took away from what story was there. In certain cases, words were misspelled, in others, singular versions of words were used when they should have been plural, and vice versa. The punctuation marks were wrong a lot of times; there were more exclamation points than any story should ever have. Commas and quotation marks were also misplaced or missing altogether sometimes. I found myself doing more correcting than reading.
This is my dilemma. I know I just dream of getting my manuscript published, and while I am receptive to constructive criticism, I would be devastated if someone, especially a fellow aspiring author, completely slammed what I had written, especially if it was about a life experience that was very personal to me. If I pour my heart out and allow other people to get a glimpse inside me, I would be hurt if they didn't get anything out of it.
However, I like to think that I have a relatively good grasp on the English language and grammatical rules, and what I don't know, a simple Spell Check can teach me. He did warn me early on that there was no editing, but I figured maybe there'd be some misspellings and that'd be it. I was completely unprepared for all of this.
So now I don't know what in the world to do because if he asks me about my opinion, I don't know what to say. There's a good chance we'll be standing right in the house of the Lord when he asks me about it, and I just cannot bring myself to tell him that I didn't like it. So Ericka says I should either say I never bought the book or that I haven't gotten around to reading it yet. So it's either one of those, or I can super-bald-faced-lie and say that I enjoyed it. I don't know what I should say. Either way it goes I'll be lying right in church. LOL!!!
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Posted by sasmith on 2008-04-29 01:19:40 | Rating: | Views: 85
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Eh, wow, I don't think I've ever come across a book like that before. That is, a book that wasn't edited and cleaned up beforehand.
Anyways, you could just tell your friend that it wasn't really your kind of book, but it was a good attempt at literature. Or something like that. That wouldn't really be a lie, would it?
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Posted by Chance777
on 2008-04-29 01:35:48
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My thought on this is that your approach needs to be based on whether this person is a good friend or not. If they are a good friend they need you to be honest.... or else you're not a good friend.
If they aren't a good friend let them know you read it and you found its not they type of story you'd usually go for. Let them know you did notice the absence of editing - just skim over it like that.
If its a good friend stop and think carefully about how you're gonna be honest. I suggest if you are asked in church what you thought of it say that you'd like to have a chat to them about it properly later on - suggest going for a coffee or something. You could start by telling them that the gratuitous sex parts made you uncomfortable - tell him you wouldn't normally read a story like that... but tell him so its like - that's not my cup of tea... but, a legitimate area of writing for someone who wants to take that part. Tell him that you are surprised after all the hard work he put in that he would stop just short of the finish line by not getting it edited. Let him know it did detract from the reading experience for you and that you'd like to see him get things edited in future to do him justice so that he comes off as a professional writer to the general public. As you go also reassure him by acknowledging the amount of work he's done and remind him that most people who write never get published so he's definately making progress. Remind him that by necessity we learn things as we go. Suggest that he sees how this print run goes and then perhaps edit it and release a 2nd edition. Let him know its not the end of the world but that he should set his sights higher in future. Tell him you think he should set his sights higher because you believe in him and know that he's capable of putting out a properly finished, properly edited book.
If he's a good friend he may go away a bit bewildered and a bit hurt by what you've said. Over time it will sink in and it will make the friendship stronger. I know, I've got an artist friend who has helped me like that - I consider him my best friend 'cause he's the only one who's ever had the guts to sit down with me and do a post mortem on something that went bad like that. All the other people who pissed in my pocket didn't help me - he did... and I know he did it because he cared. We have a very strong friendship.
If its not a good friend I don't think going into detail is going to necessarily be good - he might just resent you because he doesn't understand that you only said things that seemed cruel to be nice. In that case just confirm you've read it, confirm the subject matter is not your cup of tea.... and if you feel like it just gently tell him you'd love to see him get his next novel edited properly because that'd really be the icing on the cake.
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Posted by crashing_down
on 2008-04-29 01:57:33
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Oh this one is easy... use diplomacy and tact. You maybe tell him he needs an editors opinion, you're "not sure enough just reading the rough draft"". "No lie, it's as true as needing oxygen.""Every writer needs an editor""....and this is friendly and not to committal and fulfills the need of the writer/friend for feedback.
Otherwise do him a favor and tell him outright. It was hard to read because of grammar and spelling. Then leave the rest alone.
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Posted by lampoil
on 2008-04-30 03:14:30
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