The sex chakra is orange; I'm told I have a huge sex chakra.  Men feel it when I enter the room.  I feel it when I slide on my stockings.  It's like a lion waiting to pounce.  It was idle for years when I was married; I rarely let it out of it's cage. The 40's are a good time for a woman. The cat wants out.

And so I started my mid 40's deciding that I would explore sex, find out what men really want. Find out what was so damned important about it; how they really feel.  It began with just chats on line. Slowly I began to find myself being opened to it.  My good girl side went in the bottom drawer.  I watched men cum on line; took note of how they stroked, how long they stroked, what they said to themselves when they stroked.  It was very exciting  but also very intriguing.  I asked lots of questions. And made up fantasies. My fantasies.  Some were shared by my online lover others, were embellished and improved. I like to be watched I found.  First on web cam.  Taking photos of my before pussy and wet and swollen after pussy.  Phone sex came into it; mmmm.  Dominant men making me stop stroking myself; wait. Then start again.  Making my brain fill with imagines of tongue and fingers, cock and lips.  Dirty words were added to my dictionary. I thought fuck me was dirty enough until I was called a dirty little cumslut. The first time I was called that I almost hung up the phone; and then I thought about it.... mmm. Bitch slut whore.  In the heat of erotic passion I find it very hot.
With all the sex though comes... much more.  I was raised by an English lady, my mother who taught me manners, etiquette and morals (believe it or not). She would freak of course if she knew what I have been doing. But I am an adult, and I do it only with other adults. It is my dark side.  My light side is sublime. I study buddhist philosophies, spent too many years trying to be Martha Stewart and failing dismally, following societies rules and realizing that I was a square peg in a round hole. On the surface though I fit beautifully. I feel in fact that I am very brave.  Daring to step out of my wrapper and to really feel the breeze.

I love to feel that when I touch a man, whether it's sensually, erotically or even emotionally (and it's surprising how much this has to do with the business of escorting) I feel as though I have done some healing.  So many men are screaming in pain because they are not touched by wives, by lovers.  They are expected to carry this load as a bread winner, good man, kind husband, good dad.  And their partners are often over worked, too tired, bored out of their heads with the routine of it all.  And so, I am there.  Soft hands, laughter, someone to let out a sigh with, or a large moan.  I will stroke your back in the tub after we copulate, or let you leave without a goodbye.  No expectations other than some financial exchange for my time. 

How long I'll do this for I don't know.  It takes something from a persons soul at times, brings in the Sylvia Plaths.  But there are times when a man leaves me, filled with some of my light, my warmth, my heat.  Leaves with the feeling that he can do the things he is meant to do because he has had some connection and relief with another human being.

I don't do just blow jobs. I live the girlfriend experience.