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| i love my family,i dont fight battle alone |
at first
i thought they were judging me
yes they did say that i feel guilty for something
but in reality i didnt
but thats them trying to find out what bothers me
i have anxiety
i cant control it. or i try so hard to
i get freaked out wen theres too much people and i cant hide
or go away
i cant breathe at times
loud noises scare me like
LIVE music
i thot it was only in church but
it also happened on friday wen i went to a show
i saw a lot of people and freaked out
and left all quick the minute drums started playin
i was all shakey uncontrollably in church today
i was kinda giggly becuase im all tellin my aunt
* omg. here it goes again..i am tryin to control it but gosh look at me*
then tears came out and i couldnt breathe or talk well
it was like that for a while
well i got outta church to take care of kids instead of hear the preacher
my aunt later came to me and asked me to go inside church so we can pray
she talked to me sayin that she doesnt know whats wrong with me but
that we shuld pray about it
i told her i have anxiety
i had a very good day in church but a lot of people, less space and too much noise freaked me out
i told her i am not depressed, i am happy.
its just that the stuff makes me sick and not be able to breathe
she said she understands, she went thru that too. but that we have to fight it
ya know..
people knowin bout whts goin on with me
and sayin they are with me..makes me feel much safer
and loved
so i do feel better now. i can now continue goin to church
without being a fraid..
and knowing that..i dont fight this battle alone.
it will take time..
but i am NOT alone
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Posted by sarahrawr19 on 2009-10-11 17:46:30 | Rating: | Views: 17
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