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Off My Chest.

So, my first ever blog on this site. I made an account so I could vent, haha. Now I am having trouble deciding where to begin. Let's see...
My mom told me a few weeks ago that my dad was sick, and I didn't think much of it. (I'm seventeen, figured she was probably trying to make me feel guilty about something lol.) But day before yesterday, I had my whole family plus a cousin help me work for this huge fundraiser. We were clearing brush and hacking up trees and blackberries and stuff, pretty rough work. I was watching my dad and he started falling a lot. I guess his left side sometimes is almost paralyzed, but I didn't really notice until the past two days of working. I got in a little argument with him on the first night, because I didn't want him to go back the next day and work again, I wanted him to just go to the doctor. He is a very stubborn man, he always has been. (I'm sure most dads probably are.) He promised he would go day after we got done.
Well, that day was today. When he got home, him and mom went outside to talk. I tried to talk to my mom, but she just told me that it wasn't important because it wasn't a real diagnosis (still have to get some stuff figured out with insurance.) I overheard her talking to him later. She mentioned something about Parkinson's Disease. After they talked he went in his room, and was in there for hours, sleeping. Now, my dad isn't the lazy type, and he has a strict schedule, he gets up early and goes to bed early, never sleeps in the middle of the day. So this had my mom freaked out. She went in and he said he had a horrible headache, and he couldn't move off the bed. Literally, he was too weak. We were getting ready to take him to the hospital, when he came out and said he was fine. And that had my mom convinced enough.
I heard them talking more stuff about a possible brain tumor, or some type of cancer that was affecting his brain and motor skills and all that.
So how do I feel? I feel terrified. I have no desire to hardly do anything right now. I hate that feeling. I feel like my dad hardly has any desire to live anymore, and I'm scared. I don't know what would happen with my mom, sister and I, if he were to die. Right now, I'm considering going out and finding a job or two.. or three. But I also have to think about my senior year of highschool, which is less than a month away. There is so much to do. And I don't feel like doing any of it.
I know there may be some people reading this, that might know almost exactly what I'm going through right now. Please, can you give me some advice. How did/do you learn to cope with this? Does the scared feeling ever go away? And will I ever get back to my old self, the one that wants to go out there and just live without being so confused and afraid?
If nothing else, I'm glad I could at least write this all out somewhere. It's really hard to find anybody to talk about these kinds of subjects.