I don't know what to do, I fell like all the world is against me, and hardly anyone wants to help me. My friends try the best they can, but their comforting words don't help. Some people at school want me to get therapy or go to a psychiatrist, but I know this doesn't work. I don't know what else to do. My parents try to help, but they try too hard, and it brings a wedge between us. What was a ravine between us is now a canyon. Suicide looks like my only option, but I don't want to die. I just want a world where people don't hate me for how I look, and like me for who I am. I wish that there could be another world that I could go to to escape this place. Like in my stories. If only a world like that existed, if I could go there, I wouldn't be this way. I need help, from people who have suffered from this, not from professionals. it also makes me depressed that if I did commit suicide, no one would miss me, save a few people. I wish that these hateful people would leave me alone. If only I had something other than writing to use as an escape from the world. I have at several points thought about cutting, or doing drugs, but don't want to hurt myself. I try to hide my pain around others, but sometimes I can't, and they taunt me more. if only I didn't have to put up with this. I don't know what to do, don't know who to talk to about it, and it feels horrible, not being able to do anything. I just want someone to love me, who wil stay with me, who will help me through this. If I had someone other than my parents like that, life would be manageable.
Someone help me, I can't take it. I need love not hate.
Posted by rpm64 on 2007-12-18 10:27:37 | Rating: | Views: 145
Hey, i read your post. i recently lost someone to suicide. he was the father of my youngest daughter. and though we hadn't spoken for almost 3 years, it was still an enormous blow! i can suggest a really good book if you like to read.... it's called finding your way after the suicide of someone you love. of course noone you know has commited suicide, but it may provide some insight into just how everyone is affected by what you are considering. as far as feeling so alone you would consider doing that... you can go to a clinic (does not have to be a doctors office) and tell them your feelings. they can provide some medications to help with your sadness/depression. once you can think rationally again, you will begin to see that it doesn't matter what people think of you. the hell with all of them. humans, as a whole, are assholes anyway. what counts is how perfect you are in your own way.
hope i helped you in some small way. ;) by the way, i've found that blogging helps me enormously to get my angry feelings out. you can read my blogs if you like. so keep blogging. it's a small way to express yourself but a helpful one.
hey rpm..havent seen you in the forum for a bit, Don't spend any time on those losers, just forget them, find a good hobby something to take up your time, as far as having people to talk to , you already know you have us here...
know how u feel. sometimes it feels that there is just no hope and you don't know where to look to find some. i read that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. just hold on and believe change will come.
Are people making funny of you because of your hair cut? because I heard some people say they like it better. Also, get a girlfriend. One at the school. You have to like someone at the school. And just ask her out, it can't get any worse. And didn't Animal Farm suck? maybe it's just me, I like books with some sction in them.
It sounds like life is kind of at a rough spot for you right now. It is for me too. Im not sure if I understand completely everything that you are upset about but from reading your last three blogs I think Ive gathered that you are most upset about the verbal abuse you have recieved from your peers. You say that words are more hurtful than physical abuse.
....I agree. I understand the pain that words can cause. It makes me sad to think that people dont think about how the words they say affect the people they say it to. This past year i have experienced more verbal abuse than i think i have in my entire life, and unfortunatly i havent been able to handle it well. I have, unlike you, "hurt" myself because of the things that people have said to me. I hate doing it, but for some reason i cant help doing it either. You must have some strength if you havent done anything to yourself, be proud. I have been working on it. I see a theripist it is not as bad as you would think. I like her. She is nice. I like that she listens, I think it would help you if you saw a therapist too. It is true it does not make things all better, but you would have someone to talk to, so all of your feelings wouldnt get bottled up and explode out like you said in your school entry.
Like you I cant agree with the people that just say screw the people that dont like you, because like you words do matter to me. My best friend says that i should just forget what those people say, and just think about the people that love me. It sounds so simple, so easy. But it isnt. I know, I understand that sometimes it seems impossible to get past the negative things.
I still havent really figured out how to get over the hurt thats caused by someones words. I would love to give you some solution to how you feel, but I cant I can only empathize and listen because i still havent figured it out myself.
But you are right. Suicide is a permanant way out to a temporary problem. You mean the world to someone, I know it, everyone does, either to your family or your friends. Think of how they would feel if they lost you, if they lost thier world. That thought has helped me. I think it would be selfish of me to take my own life because it would sort of be like taking thiers too.
I hope that anything i have said has helped you, conforted you in knowing that someone else feels what you feel. you are not alone. If you need anything or want to talk you could message me through thoughts. Id be happy to listen. I too am happy to know that I am not alone in feeling the way i do. If not, just know that someone is thinking about you.
I wish everyone was like you guys. If you were all here right now, I'd give you all hugs. Who nows, maybe snowboarding this weekend will help me cheer up. have a blessed Christmas all. And dude in my 3&6, the person I like is already dating someone
Dude, you are kind of hypocritical. I've seen you laugh at other people when they're getting made fun of, and even heard you yourself make fun of people. And yet whenever someone makes a comeback you come on here and act like you're going to commit suicide.
Oh, and if it's Jessica you like, she broke up with her boyfriend.
and dont commit suicide. people dont hate you beacuse of what you look like...they dislike you beacuse ( not trying to be mean but i am going to be blunt) you are just a little bit obnoxious i am not trying to be mean but yeah just chill out a bit
| Views: 145
