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why is it that as soon as parts of my life clean themselves up, another part either falls to pieces or becomes murkier to me
today i apologised to Angry Friend 1 and now things between us are back to normal and i finally have someone to talk to about the boy in my life
she says that it has become obvious to her and other friends of this boy, that he is still hung up on his ex girlfriend
now they have been broken up since early september, so that has given him almost 6 months to get over her
im not sure wether it was a mutual decision to break up, or wether she dumped him, which makes it alot harder to figure this out from my point of view
the ex went and slept around a bit after the break up, which quite possibly rattled the boy and hurt him considerably
but isnt 6 months enough time to get over a girl?
its not like he was an angel after the break up himself, having slept with two girls in rapid succession
so why is he still hung up?
i dont mind being only a friend to him, but id rather that he clear that up with me
instead he has gone from calling me his "significant other" to saying we are "not together"
its really starting to screw with my head, and considering things arent all good with my home life, i dont really need this shit from him
i have liked this guy since the moment i met him, and have liked him more than any other guy
i would even go so far to say that he is one of my best friends, even though we have only known each other since november
so what should i say/do?
should i confront him about his ex girlfriend, and ask him how he feels about her?
should i lay my feelings (which he is already aware of) on the line?
should i ask him out, just to make "us" official?
do i leave it as it is, and not tell him anything?
i know i need to give him space so that he can sort out his head and what he really wants, but i cant help feeling that things will only get worse with time
we havent had sex in almost 4 weeks, and now things have deteriorated to the point where we do not even kiss goodbye or goodnight
its really tearing me up inside because i dont know what he wants with me, and i dont know how he feels about me anymore
sex and sexual activities used to be common happenings when we were together, now they seem more of a thing of the past
please help
love roxie
xoxo
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Posted by roxietheroxie on 2008-02-21 07:48:18 | Rating: | Views: 64
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Sounds to me lik emaybe you're being used as a crutch by this boy so he can feel like he's causing his ex the same pain she causes him by sleeping with other people. If you really consider him one of your best friends... there should be no harm or repercussions of just asking him flat "how do you feel about me.. where is this going.. and if you're not over your ex, you should take some time to do that without having to worry about someone elses feelings"
A few months is really early to be calling a boy one of your best friends. I assume you do so because you really like him but you dont have the right to call him you "boyfriend" yet. So asking him flat out might be a bad move.
My advice, back off give him some space to "get over" this chick without asking him anything. If he really wants to "hang out"...he'll come chansing after you. If not, you'll have done the right thing by giving him time to get over his ex, and saved yourself alot of heartache by driving yourself crazy wondering whats going on in his head. And on the plus side, he might actually be grateful that you were a good friend by not being needy with his attention during a time he needed to focus on what he really wanted. Hopefully, after you back off, it will help him realize he wants you.. but only if you give him the chance to come after you.
If he doesnt, don't feel bad... you saved yourself from being led on for far longer than what is healthy for your emotional well-being.
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Posted by W8nOn2morrow
on 2008-02-21 08:44:38
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