Thoughts.com Blogs - you have to be a grown up, before you raise a kid

Some very kind and supportive people have in the past,
made a comment or two every now and then
that they think I'm a great mom.
and since yesterday was Moms Day I have to admit

I almost always feel like a terrible mom!
Yet I do try my best
but fall short most of the time

Every single night before I go to bed,
I lay there and think,
"I should have spent more time with her"
"Why did I say that to him?"
"She needed me and I was too busy doing something else."
"I lost my patience and I should have been more understanding"

I realize that we are all not perfect
and that goes for motherhood too
it's tough

it seems like you are never able to make all of them happy at the same time
kids no matter what their ages are like spinning plates
when one is running at a good pace
another is teetering
the third is about to crash
while you are trying to get the 4th one back on track.

It's exhausting
and it seems like you always have at least one child who is angry or hurt
or hurting
for one reason or another

from the outside looking in
it looks rosie
especially to all those single people out there dreaming about someday having a family
or the many childless couples who are unable to conceive

it is without a doubt the hardest job in the world
and believe me
if you are looking for a pat on the back from your family
you are just not going to get it
oh
perhaps once in a blue moon
a miracle will happen

and the memory of those moments
go a long way
they are the special times you cherish forever

but
just don't count on it

you will only be disappointed

my intension here is not to be negative
but its the truth

I admit
my feelings get hurt daily
I know I should be tougher
but I'm not
I know Im not supposed to take anything
personally
and
I know I'm taken for granted
and
they are all in their own little world
the
me me me
world of a kid

motherhood is not meant for a selfish self centered person
someone that fits that bill wouldn't last a week
in this position

and
if you are looking for perks
forgetaboutit
it is a thankless job

more often than not
I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach

We worry about our kids all the time
this emotion
is like a continuous horse race
for moms
you can not predict from day to day
who is going to be hurt or hurting
or who will be the leader of the pack
for that matter
in your worry race

we have all had
special mother moments
those warm and fuzzy
"mommy I love you memories"
they are the absolute best
nothing compares to it
but unfortunately
they are truly few and far between

you find yourself taking on the role of the enemy
in the day in day out grind
of motherhood
and that gets one rather weary

I know most moms don't admit to this
and its not the cool thing to say
but motherhood is hard,
and it never ends
you can never take a break from it

when they are little they depend on you for everything
and when they are older
they blame you for everything

all that being said
I wouldnt trade my life
or my role as a mom
for anything

Its just not easy
and dont believe anyone that says it is

think long and hard before you have children
its a lifetime committment
and you better be prepared to go the long haul
sure
babies are cute
but there is nothing cute about a know it all teenager
or a sick child
you really have to be a grown up
before you can
raise a kid