Tom Barry was the kind of guy who always had time to talk to you
He made everyone in his presence feel special
I know he had more important things to do
but when you were speaking to him
you had his complete attention
He never acted rushed or in a hurry
He was so calm and laid back
This happy go lucky guy was a joy to be around
and his eyes were forever twinkling
He lived each day to the fullest
This outstanding human being
was a devoted and doting husband
and attentive and loving father
plus a loyal and trusted friend
He told his wife and his kids he loved them every single day
he kissed them goodnight every single night
I'm sure he died without regrets
he truly lived each day as if it were his last
he took time every day "to smell the roses"
If Tom and his wife were ever spectators at our kids school,
I wanted to sit or stand near them
The Barrys were extremely entertaining and always had a witty running commentary
to accompany every event
Tom possessed a rather dry sense of humor
his one liners had me doubled over
I must also give credit to his wife,
she is one funny lady
but that's another story
I digress
The man was a master of trivia
he knew a little something about every thing
A few years back, our daughters were on the track team together
I was watching Kate throw the shot put
when they announced her score, I said "Great Job Kate" but had no idea how she did
she had no clue either
Tom was amazed she threw it so far, and began to give us essential info concerning the sport
the shot put was one crazy idea
Who in the world ever invented it?
and why?
Tom knew
and shared all the details with us
Tom's smile lit up a room
and his smirky grin was able to poke fun of you in a good natured way without saying a word
or hurting your feelings
he made us all laugh at ourselves
September 11th was one of those days none of us will ever forget
it was a privilege to be able to spend that historic day with Tom and his wife
another story
see post
Sept 11th and my terrorist turkey sandwiches
Right before he died
we were at a band concert at school
I was in the bleachers and he had front row center seats and a direct sight line to my daughter.
He motioned for me to switch seats with his wife so I could get some video of my baby girl
Poor Joe and his wife laughed at us as we tried to capture the moment
Tom was giving me such a hard time about how boring my tape was going to be
that I focused the camera on him the entire time
his comments were hysterical and he was such a scream
I knew he would be much more entertaining than the band concert
Tom Barry had no idea I was filming him
I have yet to watch that particular video
that's another story
One day as he rode his bike to the train like he did every day
he dropped dead
he had just turned 50
everyone was shocked and devastated
I was at their house that horrible morning as his dear wife and family along with the rest of us
tried to comprehend the situation
I was crying so hard the priest and nun from our parish tried to console me and tell me to let all my friends handle things for me for awhile
they thought I was the widow
everyone
loved Tom
and
everyone
felt the same way about him
We were all in denial and felt so lost without him
his daughter blurted out
"Who is going to coach our softball team?"
Tom had called every single girl on his team the night before he died to tell them how excited
he was
about the new season
and
couldn't wait to be their coach
His son was speechless
and his wife
couldn't imagine her life without him
I did not think I could make it through the wake and funeral
I figured Tom would understand
I did not want to make a fool of myself
boo hooing like a weirdo
I wasn't even family
people would think I was a bit dramatic
but I was really torn apart
my husband convinced me to go
even though I had to walk backwards through the line that was a few miles long the night of the wake
The funeral mass was a celebration of his life
when they played his favorite song
my daughter squeezed my hand and I thought I was going to have to leave
just then
I looked down in the pew in front of me and saw a little bead
it grabbed my attention
normally I would have not given it a second thought
but because I needed a distraction
I picked it up
it was heart shaped bead with a smiley face
Tom died of a heart attack
I thought it was his way
of reminding me
to slow down
and smile
I was so glad Kate was with me
because I did not think anyone would believe my story
I purchased the song the next day
I had never really listened to all the words before Toms death
turn turn turn
I was playing it when I was driving one of Sam's friends home from school
and
recounting the little miracle that occurred in church
Kate interrupted me in mid sentence and said
"Mom, look what street we are on?"
I had gone down the street a million times and never noticed it's name
we were on
Turnbarry
Words-adapted from the bible, book of Ecclesiastes
Music-Pete Seeger
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to build up, a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing
To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven
A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time to love, a time to hate
A time for peace, I swear its not too late
Byrds lyrics
These are the words to the song my friend had on his fridge
He lived these lyrics
When he died I wrote a story about him
that I can not find
I've searched everywhere
at the time, I sent it to everyone I know,
maybe someone out there has a copy
if so,
could you please send it to me?
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