ok,  

who are they kidding?

Lets face it,

 we all know that rarely ever happens. 

 I have been in 14 weddings

 and I only have 1 dress I would ever consider wearing in public,

 but that dress caused so much commotion,

I never did.

another story

furthermore

   Believe it or not,

one dress I never even had a chance to wear

until a year after the wedding took place

and

 that one had a matching hat, shoes and gloves 

another story

One of my cousins, whom I dearly love,

choose red white and blue paisley. 

 I was honored she asked me to stand up in her wedding,

 but I never had the nerve to tell her how I felt about paisley.

ok, so my cousin Joan, wants me to tell everyone
that just the top or maybe it was the bottom ...was paisley
and that she was married on the 4th of july
so there was a theme happening there with her choice of colors
and the bridesmaid dresses were very pretty
and by the way...she looked gorgeous
and she is recovering from a knee replacement
we all wish her well

even though there is a post script to this story
 right now she is happily married to someone else
maybe her first husband hated paisley?
you never know

another story



A sorority sister

 (Alpha Sigma)

dressed her maids to look like 4 southern bells

  in a full skirted, dandelion yellow hideous dress

complete with wide brimmed hats

 and matching yellow parasols

 My dear friend Patty

thought it was a dandy idea.

 It might have been

if the wedding was somewhere in the south,

but it was in Milwaukee in July.

The Summer after graduation is one I will never forget. 

I was one of the first of my high school friends

 to arrive home to the real world after graduation.

  There were five of us that remained close from high school

and we called ourselves,

 the glove

 A few days after arriving home, I turned 21. 

Since none of my pals were back in town,

I ended up walking to a miniature golf course with my parents

and

celebrating my golden b day,

 21 on the 21st

 with a rollicking round of golf and an ice cream cone. 

 I'm afraid most everyone else on the planet

 has a far more interesting

 and adventurous

 21st b day memory.

That summer

I was desperately looking for a teaching job

 while working at a clothes store

 in Evergreen Plaza

called Bramsons.

  I don't think I ever brought a check home

I loved the clothes and I used to hide them from the customers

until I got paid. 

I was dating 2 fabulous guys and I couldn't decide 

 which one I really loved?

so much drama

there were some harried moments

trying to juggle both of them

that I will write about another time

Lets just say both of them

were aware that I was in a few weddings

 and they each thought they were going to be my date

My stomach bothered me all summer

I kept going to the doctor and he'd tell me it was all in my head

he wanted to know what was bothering me

I told him I couldn't decide between 2 guys

I was in a few weddings

and I was looking for a teaching job

he told me he wished he had my problems

and commanded me to stop worrying

seemed like whenever it was time to do the dishing or another household chore,

 I would have an awful stomach attack,

 that knocked me off my feet.

the pain was horrible

but no one believed me

  My mom started saying,

 "You and your stomach aches,

 it only hurts when I ask you to do something around here!"

The boyfriends had no sympathy either.

When I felt sick and asked one of them to take me home,

 they'd say,

"I bet you felt fine last night when you were out with Him"

and they were sure

I was sneaking out with the other

 as soon as they dropped me off.

Occasionally,

 I would lay down in a dressing room at work,

until the attack subsided,

and my manager unable to locate me was positive I was chit chatting

somewhere in the mall,

shirking my duties.

That entire summer,

I kept returning to the doctors office

 and

 he  kept ordering a bunch of very uncomfortable tests

over and over again

I think he thought

 I was a flake

 and hypochondriac

and those yucky tests would make me give up

barium up the butt,

barium down the throat,

hold it, hold it...

drink this

drink that

enemas galore

not fleetwood mac

 they twisted me like a pretzel at Little Company of Murder Hospital

and held me upside down and every which way

ok honey...
let me put a hose in here and shoot this up your...

and for your sake will not go into more details...

I attended a number of showers
and
weddings
the summer
of
1973
 

 and even made it to the southern bell wedding in Milwaukee

and took my place among the dwindling single gal crowd 

on the

 dance floor

at the Martinique

a very popular wedding reception spot

 trying to pretend I wanted to catch the bouquet

The day

 before school

started

 I

was offered

a teaching job.

 On every single application, I listed 1st grade as my last choice

which

 turned out to be the only choice for me. 

I was thrilled,
never the less

to have a teaching position with the North Palos School District 117 

 I was offered it one day and told I started the next. 

 A week into the school year

I received the results of my latest colon test. 

 It's a darn good thing I signed my insurance papers that morning

because

I needed an operation

and they wanted me to go into the hospital ASAP. 

 I thought the surgeon would let me do it over thanksgiving vacation. 

 But that was not what the doctors had in mind. 

They told me on a Wednesday evening I was going in on Friday

Saturday Sept 15, 1973
I was to have a serious operation.

 My good friend was having her rehearsal dinner that Friday

and would be walking down the aisle to say I DO

while I was being cut opened.

The only good news was,
I did not have to make up my mind

 about who to take to the wedding

although 

 my poor parents

  had a heck of a time keeping them from running into each

other when they came to the hospital for visits.

Thank God I was so young

and so distraught

about missing my friends wedding.

I wasn't really concerned about the tumor on my colon. 

 If that happened to me today, I'd have myself dead and buried before the surgery.

I was told I'd be out about 6 months,

 I would not be allowed to lift anything and the only thing I was encouraged to do was walk.

How would you like to tell your new principal that news bright and early Thursday morning. 
He just hired me for first grade,
 I hardly knew my way to the teachers lounge,
 let alone knew the other teachers. 

 He asked me to write lesson plans for the amount of time Id be gone..

and each lesson needed an objective.

I was there

 all alone

except for the janitor,

at my desk

and surrounded by my newly decorated bulletin boards

filling in my very empty red teachers manual,  

till way past my bedtime

....that is another story...

I had no idea what I was doing,

I was so new to the job....I was sure he'd fire me. 

 (Thank God he didn't)

thanks Ray!

God smiled at me

and I recovered in record time,

not without a number of complications
 of course

yet

when I returned as good as new
right before Thanksgiving,

I looked like I had been to a spa. 

 It might have had something to do

with the fact that I went down to Naples Florida

accompanied by my parents to recover.

  If the teachers had not been to the hospital to see me after the operation,

no one would have believed I was sick. 
I was sporting quite a nice tan.

and that's another story

I guess my blogs are being read ... I'm going to have to be careful because I keep hearing from people that I casually mentioned in them
although this could work for me in a positive way
if anyone knows the whereabouts of Patty Murphy Bowman
please notify me
I have to tell her that I really loved that parasol and I used it so many times over the years
whenever the sun shines on me, which is almost all the time
except when I am working on my tan