During my freshman year of high school, until springtime, I ate my lunch in the women's lavatory
every single day a group of mean girls from my grade school they know who they are I called them the rat pack for some reason decided to make me their target even made a game of it I have no idea why they singled me out I’m 100% positive not a single one of them ever found out about Fe Fe The time I peed in a sleeping bag, blamed it on the poodle and went to confession See post if you are curious
nov. archive
peed in a sleeping bag, had to go to confession if they hadthen I might have understood why they picked on me however
come to think about it quite a few of the girls in attendance at that PJ party
just so happened to be the perps in my prep school predicament It all started on my first day at Mother McAuley at the lunch table in the cafeteria all the girls sat with their own parish
since we did not know anyone else (you have to be a south side of Chicago Irish Catholic to understand the parish thing) Another story Let the games begin Let’s see who can be the first one to make Durkin cry It did not take long I fled to the phone booth with my back to the glass
and pretended to make a call Wiping away my tears and trying to get over my embarrassment What had I done to deserve this sort of treatment? Why were they acting this way? I was stunned Felt like I was in the middle of a terrible nightmare I did not hang out with many of these girls in grade schoolI
sort of stayed on my side of 95th street But I knew them since kindergarden And they all turned on me for no apparent reason The girls just stood there and harassed me banging on the door I ran to the ladies room They followed me the entire time
Lucy was the biggest rat She was the leader of the pack Those mean girls hung outside the tiny stalluntil they finally became bored with their horrible game I was lucky I was able to compose myself enough to get to my next class on time I did not say another word for the rest of the day My Parents were good friends with all of their parents They had formed a car pool for the morning commute Each parent was assigned an entire week of driving and we were to get home on our own Needless to say,
I dreaded getting ready to hop in the hostile car every morning
just waiting to become their prey Sometimes they totally ignored me Acted like I did not exist talking and laughingabout peopleplaces and things I knew nothing about the parents were always clueless
once in awhile one of the moms or dads would try to engage me in conversation which was always rather uncomfortable so much was transpiring behind the drivers seat
if only they had eyes in the back of their head During the day I avoided these bullies at all cost Even went way out of my way not to run into them in the hall Thank God Not a single rat was in my homeroom Miraculously,I was elected Vice President It was a like a safe haven Where I could relax and be myself Unfortunately the mean girls were in most of my afternoon classes It was pure torture day in and day out Occasionally they would take my purse
off the back of my chair during class, examine its contents pass each item around the room, one at a time And if someone liked what they saw took it I did not contribute much to the class discussions
that year I was afraid to open my mouth I was terrified of them and II never stood up for myself
or fought back verbally it never even occurred to me
to use physical force I would not have stood a chance anyway so when I mention they taunted me it was in words and deeds only but we all know how damaging that can be today there is much written about bullies another story it killed my self esteem
and
made me a nervous wreck my grades suffered and all of this was taking place in secret I never confided in anyone seems everything in my life in those dayswas a secret that's another story I was too proud to tell anyone
what they were doing to me especially my family my parents were popular a well liked couple and my brothers always hung around with the cool crowd and were fantastic athletes in those days most girls did not sweat I spent all my free time in the bleachers
watching my dad and brothers perform for the crowd if I was lucky I was able to work in the hot dog stand
with my mom that's another story I did not want my family
to think I was a queer that's what they called a dork
back in the day it had nothing to do with sexual preference it meant "a geek" How humiliating was that?
After school, I would hide from the vicious pack
until I thought the coast was clear 9 times out of ten I was wrong they'd be lurking around some corner
waiting for me then they would walk close behind all the way home and when I say it was a long way I am not exaggerating sometimes
I’d run to 95th street and catch the bus regardless which ever way I chose to go, they followed The rats even made prank phone calls to my house.
pre caller ID I was so afraid someone else would answer before I had a chance to get it. I would run to the phone and pretend to be talking to someone or just hang up, trying to act like it was a wrong number. Months and Months later, when my dad was driving me to the library, we ran across a bunch of them crossing the street. They took one look at me
and
began shouting nasty things as I was trying to become invisible. My father jumped out of the car, and began to yell back at them. "How dare you, blah blah blah." He was enraged. They all ran away laughing. He was in shock!
as I was sliding lower and lower
in the front seat until I dissolved into a bucket of tears. I told him everything. He wanted to call their parents, the principal, the police, no wonder why I always seemed so depressed. Of course I knew if anything like that ever happened they would make my life a living hell, it would be even worse than it already was. It took all my powers of persuasionto convince my parents
not to do anything. But they threatened to make those calls at least twice a day.
My mom phoned her cousin
who had a niece my age at my school. She must have told her all about my situation. My distant cousin called me and asked me to go out with her and her friends
to a danceon a Friday night. My mother literally forced me to go. We all met at someone’s house and my cousin had apparently told the other girls what had been happening. Much to my amazement, none of the girls there had liked any members of the rat pack. They told me no one liked those mean girls. Before then, I was actually afraid to go to the dance, because if the rats were there I would end up being attacked in front of boys and girls. All my cousins friends formed a protective circle around me and not one of those mean girls said a single word to me. The secret was out.
I was so afraid if anyone knew how much they hated me that everyone would hate me Turns out I was not the odd man out, those mean girls were. I danced all night and had a fabulous time. One guy asked me to dance a few times in a row and before I knew it all sorts of people were telling me he liked me and wanted to ask me out. Everyone sort of threw us together. I hesitated when he asked me to go out the following evening my cousins friends gave him my number and told him to call me and they along with my parents gave me no other choice. I owe a lot to my cousin And to my mom
for telling her about my situation Although I was not thrilled with my mom
at the time for spilling the beans. I will never forget what she did for me as long as I live. If it wasn’t for them
I could be working as a ladies room attendant somewhere asking women with wet hands if they wanted a clean towel. Another story Saturday night I had my first official high school date, the ones before thatwere fix ups with the sons of my moms friends, another story, but they don’t count. We quadrupled with a bunch of kids. took up an entire row in the movie theater. I did not know anyone but my date and I had only met him the night before.
As usual all the gals went to the ladies room together
to comb our hair each one was nicer than the other they wanted to know where I went to school we were all freshman at the same place they couldn’t believe it some were even in one or two of my classes not one of them had ever seen me before “Where do you eat lunch?”
they said “Oh here there and everywhere” I said They immediately asked me to join them at their table on Monday It’s a long story
Although I did sit at their table 2 days later And it wasn’t long after that I met the glove There were 5 of us
best friends since high school
That’s another story Wait a minute One more thing By senior year
all but one of the rats
ended up apologizing to me for their behavior And guess which rat never did Lucy And that’s Another story
Posted by roe on 2007-12-08 19:25:33 | Rating: | Views: 357
here we go again
Im beginning to think the pack is haunting me
I lost this story two times and now its all jumbled again
Im going to take a break
and then try to fix it
oh honey, i feel tears inside after reading that, it is very brave of you to write this, and now you have, you might actually start to feel better.
it seems the silver lining being that you made some wonderful friends from a bad situation, and as you discovered, it is usually the bullies that are disliked the most, and they may have destroyed your confidence, but you survived.
the catch 22 when being bullied, that still bugs me today, is that the victim knows if they tell anyone it may make things worse, but i think your mother handled it perfectly.
i hope you wont let 'Lucy' haunt you forever, i'm sure she is a very unhappy person in her heart, people like that usually are x
it was worth the wait, maybe a bully will read this and realise how much they can destroy lives and maybe get a conscience x hugs x
just nods, inhales deeply and wraps you in a hug.
you know something, bullies have been the bane of my life, can spot one within an instance, or within a very short span of time.
you have been brave to write this rose, i have yet to write about the bullies i have had and still suffer, do they realise how it affects you? do they care? simple answer, no.
they are egotists, thats all, they strive to be popular, boost their ego by trying to push another person down, but its us that have to suffer, am glad you had your mum, but no, never takes away the memories and, especially when the bullying continues into adult life [ and in your words - 'thats another story' ]
marie, hon,that is the problem isnt it? plus a bully has no conscience, so even if they did read this, it would not affect them, they have their little gangs to support them also, which makes it even more sickening.
and roe, tis not jumbled sweetheart, the point comes across very clearly, along with the hurt. thank you, for opening your heart and, for sharing
miss marie and kentlass, I have to admit, it did take a bit of courage to write this. I appreciate your comments
I can feel the warmth and understanding oozing from your words.
Im relieved.
I held on to this for a long time.
I went to a reunion once, wondering if Lucy would be there and had that sick feeling in my stomach all those years later.
The old hurts were still raw, its as if it had just happened. I found out Lucy lived in Hawaii. In a way I was glad I did not have to see her. I bet she does not even remember how she and the rest of the pack treated me.
On the positive side, that bully experiece taught me many many things.
I will not name them all,
you're welcome
but
two very important lessons were to always look for those people who seem "left out" and bring them in the circle and fill them in,
if someone is telling a story, and this particular person missed part of it,
I quickly give them the cliff note version.
( I like to call it, the up close and personal)
I used to be so uncomfortable never knowing what all the girls were talking about
secondly,
and you can ask my friends this one,
I might be a tad annoying when I do this, so now they will know why
I learned when a group of people are talking and I don't know what its about,
if it appears not to be a private conversation,
Im not afraid to speak up and say,
"OK, what are we talking about here?"
Instead of just standing there looking dumb. If they dont want to tell me, they will say so, or just make something up.
and
Very nice post Roe. It is definitely hard being a kid, and I think the middle school and high school years are even worse. Kids can be so mean, but atleast things worked out for you in the end.
hey roe, btw, just been trying to do the photobucket pics again using hmtl link and also the direct link, still no joy - kicks internet wie 7. shame, wanted to put up my santa gif snowglobe
left the post i did 'only me' and private, but..grrrrrr
wish i could post my animated gif pics, got some nice ones you would love.
oh well, keep trying eh?..soft smile
roe, i dont know how hard it is for you to bare all these alone
you are such a strong girl and you should always be strong ,i believe that you can hold all the difficulties
come on
thanks, Im truly touched by your support, I had no idea people would actually take time out to comment, I like the comments just as much as I like to say, thats another story
| Views: 357
