at an exceptionally dull
(in my opinion only)
away volleyball tournament
in Texas
for my daughter Sam and her team mates
I decided to spice things up a bit.
I do it all the time
another story or two or three
anyway
It started innocently enough,
as they all do
A few moms and I were looking for a place to eat our lunch.
We saw a table off to the side set up to hawk a health club,
there were plenty of chairs and since tables were at a premium
and this little oasis seemed to be completely abandoned
we set up shop
and
began to enjoy having our lunch on a flat surface instead of our lap
I ever so casually turned the sign around
and reached for my handy black magic marker
in my bottomless purse
and
decided to write in bold letters
palm reader
my fellow moms
began to giggle immediately
and pretended they did not know me
one at a time,
the other loyal and true blue self sacrificing parents
wandering aimlessly about the windowless venue
dragged themselves over to my converted booth
All of us had been trapped in there
held captive
for 4
consecutive
record breaking rainy days
another story
as I held my first customers hand
I told her she was stressed
the women looked stunned
how did I know?
dah
I told another female she did way too much for her kids
and she needed to take some time for herself
actually
truth be told
I have no powers whatsoever
I do not even believe in fortune tellers
(I'm actually scared of them ...another story)
I just stated the obvious
and made the rest up
as I went along
and
that's where I got into a bit of trouble
I told one guy he had a bad marriage
and he adamantly disagreed with me
so
to make my point
I asked him how many hours per week he worked
he replied
60 hours
I said
your wife is sick of it
she is not happy
We all had ourselves a few good laughs
that afternoon
Whenever anyone wanted to pay for my services
I told them it was a free ... provided by the volleyball association
They were all quite grateful and impressed
the tips were the toughest to turn away
anyway
I had already forgotten about our little escapade
since a bunch of us had gone to a cowboy bar that evening
and
I'll save that one for another time
but it involves the 2 step and a bounty hunter
so
the next morning
my daughters very stern coach
actually the head of the Lions JR's
fantastic human being, fabulous coach
just not a smiler
announced
that she heard some of the moms must have been a little bored yesterday
and got themselves into a wee bit of mischief
all eyes were on me
I was so afraid my daughter was going to get kicked off the team
they all turned on me... everyone was more than willing to rat me out
seems
the man who was told by me that he suffered from a bad marriage
was a reporter for an Internet volleyball web site
and magazine
the story was all over the net
the crowd parted
the coach walked up to me
the moment of truth
she said
Now that, was really funny!
thank god
whew
they ended up winning the gold
but that's another story
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