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I would like to share a chapter from one of my imaginary nonexistent books
Found in the parent section of my make believe local library and book store
Which should be required reading for anyone preparing to raise a family
Please note:
There are stacks and stacks of these hard covered
multi colored best sellers
Cluttering my mind
that’s another story
In my
EVERYDAY MANNERS 101
Or
PLEASE SEND A NICE HUMAN BEING
INTO THE WORLD
WE HAVE WAY TOO MANY
SELF CENTERED ILL MANNERED JERKS TAKING UP SPACE
I devote quite a few pages
To
teaching our children to be polite and kind
and
to wait their turn
now granted
these lessons are not easy to learn
and
they require endless patience and constant repetition
I believe
One must
demonstrate a clear understanding of these very simple principles
before being allowed to roam the planet
and
co mingle with the rest of the population
Unfortunately
As we all know
Children do not come with a manual
And even if they did
No one would read it
please refer to my manual post
To state the obvious
Which happens to be an understatement
Parents
are not living up to their full potential
They are slacking on the job
a polite way of saying
Most of them are flunking
Generation after generation of rude people
are being cast out into society
void of the necessary tools needed
to become productive human beings
too many are being released unprepared and ill-equipped
to coexist with the rest of us
As a result
we all suffer
And if I may digress…
In the same vein
We continually encounter a select group of
elitist
I like to call
the
“Entitled”
amazingly
these individuals actually bestowed this
title
upon themselves
although
in some instances
some believe they inherited it
deep breath!
it is a God given fact
that
we are all equal!
one person is not any better than another
sadly
there is a giant and ever growing list of ignorant people
who
are under the false impression
that the opposite is true
and
ladies and gentleman
they are fools
sorry to say
most of them
don’t even know it
the worst kind of ignorance
but that’s another story
special privileges are not awarded because someone
is
intelligent
cute
has a bit of money
happens to be famous
or for any other reason
for that matter!
Exhale!
Yet whenever we leave the house
more often than not
we encounter rudeness and pushy people
who feel they have some imaginary right to do something that the rest of us can’t
To illustrate my point
I refer back to one of my favorite books
That I have been referring back to a lot lately
That’s another story
Called
FREE TO BE YOU AND ME
PLEASE READ THIS STORY
AND THEN READ IT
again
TO YOUR KIDS AND GRANDKIDS
Oh yeah
Read it with expression
Kids really like that!
Ladies First
Did you hear the one about the little girl who was a tender sweet young thing? Well, that's they way she thought of herself. And this tender sweet young thing spent a great deal of time just looking in the mirror and saying "I am a real little lady, anybody could tell that. I wear lovely starch cotton dresses, with matching ribbons in my lovely curly locks. I wear clean white socks, and shiny black patterned leather shoes, and I always put just a dab of perfume behind each ear." When she was at the end of the lunch line at school, all she had to say was "Ladies first, ladies first!" and she'd get right up to the front of the line.
Well, her life went on like that for quite a while, and she wound up having a pretty good time. You know, admiring herself in mirrors and always getting to be first in line, and stuff like that.
And then one day, she went exploring with a whole group of other people through the wilds of a deep and beastly jungle. As she went along through the tangled trails and the prickly vines, she would say things like "I have got to be careful of my lovely dress and my nice white socks, and my shiny shiny shoes and my curly curly locks. So would somebody please clear the way for me?" And they did.
Or sometimes she'd say "What do you mean, there aren't enough mangos to go around, and I'll have to share my mango because I was the last one across at Icky River, full of crocodiles and snakes? No matter how last I am, it's still ladies first, ladies first! So hand over a whole mango, please." And they did.
Well, then, guess what happened? Out of nowhere, the exploring party was seized; grabbed up by a bunch of hungry tigers, and these tigers ties all the people up and dragged them back to their tiger lair where they sniffed around, trying to decide what would make the best dinner.
"How 'bout this one?" said the tiger chief.
"Nah, too bony," said the others.
"What about this one? It's got a lot of meat on it!"
"Uh-uh. Meaty, but muscley."
"Oh, for heaven's sake, don't take all night!" said the chief tiger. "I never saw such a pack of picky eaters. How 'bout this one, then? Looks tender... smells nice... in fact, I never saw anything quite like it before. I wonder what it is?"
"I am a tender sweet young thing."
"Oh. Far out," said the tiger chief.
"I am also a little lady. You should know that by my lovely clothes and my lovely smell. And if it's all the same to you, tiger tweety, I wish you'd stop licking me. And untie me his instant. My dress is getting mussed."
"Yes, uh," the tiger said. "Well, as a matter of fact, we were all just uh, trying to decide who to untie first."
"Ladies first! Ladies first!" she said.
And so she was. And mighty tasty, too.
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