Thoughts.com Blogs - racoon family has bin up to no good in my attic

Raquel Wacky felt caged in living in the city so she moved to the burbs and had a one night stand with a handsome fly by night from the neighborhood. Shortly after her sleazy encounter with this revolting raccoon, she found herself pregnant and alone… she certainly did not want to trap him in a loveless marriage so she worked the night shift and looked for the right place to set up housekeeping during the days. She spent all her spare time nesting in preparation for the birth of her quads.  Much to her delight, Rocky found the perfect little attic apartment, close to some of the best late night eateries in the burbs. Their accommodations were lavish. Every corner was filled to the rafters with knick knacks and original artwork and holiday decorations. It was quite festive and the view was spectacular.

The family living below her perfect pad, had no idea they were about to host a single mother and her future heirs. The multiple births were rather uneventful and soon Rocky was back to work providing for her newborns. She toiled hard to make a good life for them. The kids were extremely comfortable and very content and never lacked for food or entertainment. Rocky's little brood had free reign of the attic since her landlord would only pop in sporadically for short periods to drop off a bin or suitcase or two, but never spent much time up there. Whenever Rocky returned from work she’d greet them by saying, “So what have you Wacky kids bin up to while I was gone?”

The crew felt like they knew the home owners a few feet beneath them simply by the things tossed in their multicolored bins. The rambunctious tykes stayed up way past their bedtimes looking at thousands of photos and snacking on the cheeses the exterminators had so generously placed on the floors. Lucky for them, those dummies thought they had mice so they hired a buggy little man to place silly little traps with all sorts of delicious appetizers all over the place. Whenever he left, it was time to Party! Although, it was not always fun and games, once in a while they would fight to get to a particular bin and a big battle of the bins would erupt and the entire contents of one would spill out all over the attic floor. Lucky for them, that’s how they found the baby blanket bins which were converted into the perfect beds! They had so many they had plenty left over for drop in guests.

The moment they read JR’s name on a label, they would be overwhelmed with delight. He had the best stuff in his fascinating bins and they could always count on a little chocolate surprise buried at the bottom. Samantha’s bins provided all sorts of entertainment, they just never knew what to expect, but it was always exciting and never boring like Nicole's the oldest daughter.  Hers were a big pain to open and everything was wrapped so tight plus there was never anything remotely good to eat among the contents. After a while, they did not even bother to open hers and simply grabbed a marker from one of Sams bins and scribbled, “BIN THERE… DONE THAT” on all the things bearing her name. Quite the opposite, Kate's bins were filled with dolls and clothes and all sorts of cool toys with an occasional pez or starburst thrown in for good measure. Some labels on the bottomless bins totally cracked them up. Most of them read, “Misc.” or "to be sorted." Believe it or not… a few said, “SHIT” and quite a few others were marked, “MORE SHIT” and most of the things inside had nothing in common with its label. Rocky and her kin figured the person responsible for all those unorganized bins must surely be in the looney bin.

Oh, the Wackies were so excited the day JR pulled up in the driveway, arriving home from college for the summer. The kids peed all over the place, it was a good thing a cool box marked “wedding dress” was handy, they couldn't contain themselves as they all gathered in the eaves watching all the new bins being unloaded. They had been counting the days till his arrival. The anticipation was more than they could bear. Just like clockwork, Bin Laudin (that's their pet name for the Mom) climbed up the attic stairs with new bins marked "JR!" Ms Laudin unexpectedly dropped a gigantic load filled with baskets and bins right in front of the drooling family. The basket case stopped dead in her tracks and called for her daughter Sam. When Samantha instantly appeared the mom said, "Sam, be quiet and listen to this!" She proceeded to drop another bin, and the poor kids couldn't help themselves, They moved again and a few started crying. Rocky tried her hardest to keep them quiet but Bin Ladin was on to them, the jig was up! She and her daughter scurried down the stairs yelling and screaming the entire way.

In the past, whenever she felt like venting, poor Rockey would grab a good book from the extensive collection available to her and read to her children. They had just a few pages left in the Diary of Anne Frank and by the time she read the last sentence, all the Wackys instinctively knew they would not be celebrating that evening. Hey, but….that’s…..another story.