Happy Birthday Letter to Sam
Have a good one!
Born Jan 24, 1990

Dearest Sammy,

You and I were in the hospital and the emergency room so many times during the long 9 months you were waiting to be born. Each and every time, I as I anxiously awaited the doctor, I couldn't help but notice the signs flashing all over the place saying... "Good Sam ...Good Sam" .... I took it as a sign from God...I knew he was assuring me that "Sam will be good, Sam will be good"....It was his way of telling me not to worry.

Even though I had hardly gained any weight, the doctors were assuring me that you were getting all the nutrients you needed which is why I couldn't shake the pneumonia I had contracted in my first trimester. At first I had refused the treatments because I feared you'd suffer all the dangerous side effects you would be exposed to if I followed orders. But the doctors said if I didn't do as instructed, (x rays and steroids) I would not live long enough to deliver you. I had to put you in Gods hands...and have faith that he would take care of you. All I could do is trust him and pray. When the big day finally arrived, Jan 24,1990, at Good Samaritan Hospital you almost didn't wait for the doctor, you just flew out like a football, trusting someone would be available to catch you. Good One Sam! Weighing in at almost 10 pounds, you were no easy catch. You knew how to take care of yourself then and you still know what you need to do now. You are a survivor and a very determined young lady, and still quite a handful, to say the least.

I watched you like a hawk those first few years, looking for anything that might have hurt you during the pregnancy and I had plenty of concerns to keep me busy. The first thing I noticed appeared at about 2 months old....and your pediatrician said we would watch it for a few months and then he sent us to a series of specialist. You had an egg shaped bump on the top of your head. We were told it might be a brain tumor, so we took you from doctor to doctor and after 6 months of testing with a half dozen different doctors and hospitals, we couldn't get any answers. I told God, ok, she is in your hands again...please take care of her and I visualized our little flashing sign....Good Sam Good Sam....the entire time during that long agonizing waiting period. We were finally given a diagnosis of "normal skin" which left you with a giant bald spot on the top of your head from the biopsy ...actually, the top of your head had to be shaved and you had quite a few stitches so you really did look like you had a football head, that's why you wore hats in a lot of your baby pics.

A month before your first b day on Christmas morning, you fell down the basement stairs in your walker... Yes, every mothers nightmare...we were all busy unwrapping Christmas presents and someone left the door open and down you went. I found you upside down at the bottom of the stairs! I was hysterical as I tore off your clothes to see if anything was broken, then one of the kids handed you a piece of cake, your first, and you immediately stopped crying and gave everyone one of your great big grins. Once again, you were perfectly fine. As soon as you smiled, I could picture that message from the emergency room that God sends me occasionally, "Good Sam Good Sam" telling me, don't worry....Sam will be good!

You were supposed to have at least 50 words in your vocabulary by the age of two. You had not uttered a single one. Not to be deterred, you figured out a way to communicate by inventing your own version of charades. You would point... act something out ....and grunt. We knew exactly what you wanted, never a doubt. At first we thought you had a form of autism, and then we thought you were deaf. We had your hearing checked and that's when the docs decided to put tubes in your ears. I will never forget the day you were taken away on a wagon and wheeled into the operating room wearing a little hospital gown and matching hair net and holding on to snoopy for dear life....As you turned the corner I saw the sign again ...flashing in my direction....Good Sam... Good Sam........good Sam.... good Sam, Sam will be good. I knew God was watching over you.

When your situation did not improve, we had you tested further and found out you had Aprazia ...an oral motor disorder. You had no control over your tongue....you still don't...only in a different way...anyway...after a solid year of taking you to speech therapy every Tuesday, you were able to rewire your brain and by pass the block you were experiencing to find your words. At the age of three you were speaking in complete sentences and have not stopped talking since.

You were, to put it kindly, rather plump as a little girl. People would come up to me and tell me they just wanted to bite you, you were so cute..and so chubby. The only problem was you were constantly falling and dropping things and when you fell you failed to block your fall...Consequently, you sported a giant goose egg in the middle of your forehead at all times. Once while dancing in the living room, your older sister twirled you and you landed in the fireplace, bit through your lip and ended up with a million stitches on and around your beautiful lips. Good Sam Good Sam flashed before our eyes in that same emergency room once again and once again you never even had to have any plastic surgery. It was another one of the many miracles God has worked in your life and I bet you are not even aware of what has been going on behind the scenes. You resembled an abused child from all of your injuries. You would actually trip over your own feet or on nothing at all. We then brought you to a neurologist (did I mention how much you hated doctors and shots...you are totally fearless, but we have all learned the hard way to never ever mention the word...s h o t in your presence...oh dear?) and we prayed around the clock while waiting for the results. Actually thank God, the diagnoses was rather comical. They told us you were clumsy! Your dad and I bought a giant swing set, we called it a park, so you could practice your eye/ hand coordination.

The very first time we realized you were a gifted athlete, your dad and I were truly amazed. I put you in the swimming pool and you simply swam across like a duck without a single lesson. Even though you couldn't walk on the deck without falling, you dove off the board with the grace of a swan. The first time you took a tennis lesson, the racket was bigger than you were and amazingly, you won the club championship every single year until last year when they asked you not to play so someone else might have a chance at a trophy. The first time you played in a park district basketball game, everyone asked me what camps you had attended, you had never ever played before and boy you were tough as nails, always in the mix, falling down constantly, but getting right back up and making a basket without skipping a beat. You made the all star softball team year after year, danced at the lively arts dance academy and when you were on the stage all eyes were always on you...you had such a presence about you...with your great big smile, on that little round face of yours, you were so happy on the stage, you just couldn't contain yourself. You oozed enthusiasm.

You have been playing club volleyball since 4 or 5th grade. I'm not sure if there is a sport you haven't mastered. You are so determined, so coachable because you have such heart. You never want to let your coach or team mates down. You have been sidelined so many times with various injuries, but you never let it get you down, Right before a major out of town tournament your volleyball coach called to say you were at the top of your game, finally fully recovered from a previous ankle injury where you had to fight to regain your position. The very next day, a day or two before your 8th grade field trip to Washington DC, which was paid in full, no refunds, you were carried off the court with another serious ankle injury. Your coach asked you to skip your field trip and do physical therapy and even though you wanted to go to Washington in the worst way, you stayed home and did the work needed to play in the big game. Sad to say, the coach never gave you a second on the court during that entire Nationals tournament in Texas. You ended up keeping score and were the one who cheered the loudest even though your heart was breaking. No one but me knew how you really felt. I was so proud of the way you handled that tough situation. I am constantly proud of you and amazed at the sacrifices you have made for your teams over the years. I could never give up as much as you for a sport. Each and every time you get injured, you just pick yourself up and do the work to get back in shape without complaining. I'll never forgot the energy and joy you brought to the gym during your first fortnighly dance at St Johns...you were out there with your trademark smile dancing up a storm dragging around a very heavy cast, on you leg, never missing a step.

You have never been a discipline problem outside our home, teachers have nothing but praise for you, I have never heard you brag or say a bad word about anyone unless their last name happens to be Snyder. You apologize profusely all the time for such trivial things. While on an airplane seated next to the window, you could be heard saying, oh excuse me, I really hate to bother you, do you mind, I'm so sorry to have to ask, but I have to go to the ladies room. Oh, I'm so sorry! Our family joke has always been that your tombstone will read, "Sorry I died!"

In 8th grade you were the student council VP, your campaign slogan captured your essence...... Sam I am, I am sam... You are truly one of a kind and totally unique. I think you are awesome! I will never forget when I told JR, your big brother,  I was going to have another baby after you.  I said, "Sam is not going to be our baby anymore and he asked if we were going to sell you.  NEVER!

You certainly were not thrilled with me when I made you take the test at Ignatius. 35 of your closet buddies were going to Fenwick. You told me every single day for 6 months that I ruined your life. At the first parent meeting your teachers told me that you never met a stranger and that if there was a camera on you all day, I would know for certain that you loved Ignatius, even though you were telling me otherwise. You did not want to admit to me that I was right...so you gave me a hard time, as usual. I am so happy for you that you do love your school and proud that you are a national merit scholar. I never knew you were so smart and had so many talents....Freshman year, your art teacher told me you were gifted. You were asked to do a self portrait and yours looked like a photo. I never knew you could draw! You have been blessed with so many talents and special gifts, you haven't even come close to discovering half of them! I've never met a more humble human being. All of your teachers rave about your work ethic and tell me you are the most organized student in their class...some of them even use the word brilliant. Considering the rough start you had, I'm amazed by Gods grace. Good Sam...Sam will be good! That is an understatement!

You have enriched my life and are my biggest challenge, always on the move, sort of like a mini tornado at home. You love to make special colleges for your friends, and I am always finding body parts strewn all over the house, and since you are unable to work in a cluttered area, you just move to another room until our entire home is trashed. During finals, books and papers are all over the place....you have an entire room devoted to each subject....You even utilize the ping pong table, there is not a clear surface anywhere to be found....and your room...scary messy....But you always manage to get the job done.

Good Sam, you are a good person with a kind soul. I've seen the way you interact with strangers and friends and I am deeply moved by your thoughtfulness toward others. Your personality knows no limits, you are going to soar, if you don't trip. I hope you learn to give yourself some quiet time to reflect on what direction you would like to take your life over the next few years. You have some important decisions to make.  Right now you are trying to decide what college would be your best fit.  It is not an easy task. I pray that God grants you the gift of discernment, so that with his help, you are able to make good choices. I hope you find the peace you truly need through reflection and prayer.

Unfortunately, you are always stressed, you say it keeps you on your toes, motivates you. Stress is never good...Whenever anyone asks how you are, did you ever notice what you say?
"I'm good! ... don't worry, I'm good, it's all good!"

If I could give you anything today it would be inner peace.  I hope you are able to find it. Learn to be quiet occasionally so you can center yourself and hear what God is trying to tell you. Your world is filled with so much noise and distrations. Our Lord sometimes speaks to you through other people and I bet he's trying to tell you a lot of things. I hope you are paying attention. He has been watching over you and protecting you from yourself all these years, trust in him, give him all your problems and ask him to figure them out, its his specialty.

I hope you realize just how important your family is....how much we all love you and that we are the ones who will be with you supporting you unconditionally for as long as you live.  I also I pray you will start thinking about how you could use your talents to help others and are able to open yourself up to new opportunities and experiences outside of sports. You have so much to explore, you need to be able to manage your time so you can investigate all the possibilities that are available to you. Take advantage of these precious days, next year you will be celebrating your birthday away at college.  I hope wherever you are, that you are happy. 

love ya slam
you are truly Good...Sam!
even though you are "Rosemarys baby"
as always,
mom