My husbands best friend had a surprise party for him when he turned 50.  It was not until we began compiling the guest list, did we realize how many friendships he had managed to keep over the years.  Some people accumulate friends and others cultivate them.  My husband works hard to develop and nurture the close relationships he maintains with each and every one of his buddies. All the smiling faces that yelled "surprise" on that memorable night thought that they were members of his "inner circle" and they were right.
  His "circle" of friends resembles the equator. 

How he manages to juggle all these friendships amazes me. With tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat he was deeply moved that they were all there to celebrate with him.  Just about every guest had some sort of contact with the birthday boy that week.

I used to be rather proud of myself, that some of my friends and I were able to start where we left off after not speaking or seeing each other for long periods of time.  A year ago, my college roommate and I met for the first time since her wedding, over 20 years ago, halfway between our homes. We sat in a booth at a chili's restaurant for about 12 hours.  We had a lot of catching up to do and that's another story.

About 10 years ago I came to the conclusion that I had way too many acquaintances and not enough close friends.  I was a slave to the calendar, never having a moment of free time. 

I wanted to scale back,
to "simplify"
and add "quality" rather than "quantity"
to my overbooked life. 

I became a nester, preferring my own home and my own company. 
I began countless household projects which

I diligently devoted most of my time and energy to and the rest of my time was spent car pooling, attending sporting events and volunteering at various schools and of course... writing.  Occasionally,  I managed to fit in a free lance job here and there but the stress I experienced during those times away from home made my life way too complicated.  My husband and kids took up most of my time. The phone was a nuisance... only used to set up car pools and make arrangements and to schedule appointments all centering around my family.

Feeling totally isolated, after years and years of that sort of existence, led me to discover the value of e mail. I thought it was the perfect vehicle to enable me to feel connected again.  My neighbors were now people on my buddy list.  We could all respond to each other in our own time, all of us having impossible schedules that never seem to accommodate a moment for a lunch date or a front porch gab fest. I truly fooled myself into thinking this was enough for me.

Looking around the room at all the warm, happy faces at my husbands birthday party made me realize it was time to change a few things before it's too late and that's another story.