I was not allowed to cross the little street in front of my house
where an occasional car would happen to crawl by once in awhile
unless my mother was watching me

I would have to literally call my mom
and not on a phone

she would have to stop what she was doing
and
come outside to tell me when the coast was clear
so I could run to the other side
like I was blind or something.

My neighbor Flossy who was quite a character,
thought my mom was deaf,
and this ritual really aggravated her no end
I'd stand in front of Flossy's house
numerous times per day
screaming
MOM,
at the top of my lungs

my overprotective mother would undoubtedly be on the phone
or
in the basement doing laundry
and not hear my piercing pleas for her assistance

Flossy
was sort of known as the mean, crabby lady in the neighborhood
but she and I really liked each other
The old gal always pretended like she was angry at the world,
but she wasn't.
This down to earth, good natured workhorse was always sweeping or washing windows
or cutting grass or shoveling snow.
or painting something

I doubt if her anti social skinny husband who walked around in a sleeveless undershirt,
ever changed a light bulb,
but that's another story
She called the guy her "old man"
and according to her,
wives were given the name
"old lady"
I do not believe I ever heard him utter a single word

"Oh my old man is so lazy, why I'd like to^&89!"
she swore like a sailor
She called me
Rosie
"Hey kid, where is your old man, is he golfing again?"
Cross the %$#@ steet, you big baby!
"Rosie, when is your old lady going to get off the %^&* phone,
will you just cross the street for Gods sake!
there hasn't been a single #$%^& car around here all day
You are driving me crazy kid!."

"Flossy you know I can only cross the street if my mother tells me its ok."
"I will not disobey my mother ever again"
I learned my lesson when I broke my leg!"

"Well, #$%^&, Im going to go over there and get your *%#@ old lady so I can have some #$%^& peace"

Flossy was the neighbor that I instantly thought of when I first learned about the birds and the bees
and I was convinced the girl who told me the gory details was telling a big fat lie!
Floss and her old man would never be caught dead doing that!