7874 Blog Feed: roe 2008-07-18 22:07:34 roe Your e-mail address 125358 2008-07-18 21:17:51 Cover ups don’t work
So Don’t fool your self
Into thinking
youre fooling anybody

Look what happened to Nixon
During the Watergate scandal

Or
Clinton during the Monica scandal
Not meaning to single out politicians
I will move along
after all
this is a post
Not a novel

I digress


Have you ever walked into someone’s home
And you are surprised
and caught off guard
by a blasting whiff of air freshener
or room deodorizer

man oh man
It’s like walking into a freezer on a 90 degree day,
its shocking to your poor system
I immediately start sneezing and gasping for air

think it cant get any worse
Think again
carpet deodorizer!
OMG!

That stuff makes my eyes water
I don’t know who they think they are fooling

But whatever it is that they are trying to cover up
has to be 100 percent better than the fake mist that is permeating the air
not to mention atmosphere

Al Gore would have reoccurring nightmares
if he ever rang that doorbell

Bathroom deodorizers and air fresheners are a joke
if you exit a rest room and another enters
immediately following
Believe me
the person waiting in line
will know what proceeded him or her
even if you use an entire
aerosol can

Have you ever been to a car wash
and
after you press the button that says
Do you want the under carriage washed?

by the way
why is that
the only thing that requires your participation?

Oh, I could really digress right now

But I won’t

another story

Back to this one
but
Do those guys in the white suits
with a wet towel
in one pocket and windex in another
 think you will get too bored
if they don’t give you something to do while you wait for your vehicle

Sorry I couldn’t help it
I digressed!
but I feel so much better
anyway
ok
I’m back

now that your under carriage looks brand spanking new
all sorts of little ornament like things that are made to hang
from your rear view mirror
Bombard your senses on the way to the check out counter

it’s a potpourri of aromatic choices
Strategically placed to trick you into believing
you could drive away
Surrounded by
fresh mountain air


don’t waste your money
I have tried almost every single one
And that hint of fake evergreen
Will practically choke the children

And you are not fooling anyone
The van still smells like sweaty socks and wet dog

Speaking of cars

Have you ever gotten into a car with someone
who was a little heavy handed on the cologne or aftershave?

Someone open a window
Please!
I’m about to die of affixation

If the lady or gentlemen
behind the wheel
 didn’t have time to take a shower
And thought they’d layer themselves
With a little extra dab of this or just one more spray of that

Let’s set the record straight
right here
once and for all
No amount of expensive perfume will mask Body Odor!
Who do they think they are fooling?

When the subject of cover ups arise
I would be remiss if I did not mention
the

The mumu
Or tent dress

If a rather large women
Hiding her overweight body
Is under the misconception while draped in a mu mu
that she
Is fooing anyone into thinking she is a size 2
Forgetaboutit
Sure
it is comfortable

And believe me
Im all for it

But where mu mu’s are concern
People have rather vivid imaginations

You are not fooling anyone ladies!


There is even a product on the market
sold behind the make up counter
called
Cover up
Actually there is an entire line of cosmetics
called
Cover girl
But that’s another story

Whenever I have ever attempted to use
That thick tan cream
to turn a blemish into a chameleon of clear skin
not only does that stuff stain your clothes,
face and fingers
it also
draws so much more attention to the area you are trying to hide

you might as well shine a spotlight on the zit
And draw a big red circle around it

Just leave it alone

You are not fooling
a single human being into believing
there is nothing under
that mini mountain on your chin

Besides
my dad always told me
No one
is looking at your blemish
or 
imperfection
 anyway

People are way too concerned about how they look
to care about you


Did you ever flip a stained cushion around to the other side
You're lucky if you don’t have the kind with a big zipper
That is now facing out
regardless
You aren’t fooling anyone

your guests do not think you were a just a little mixed up
while housecleaning
and cleaning the couch

And once you reveal the underbelly

You only have one more chance left
Then what?

Well
That’s why we have throw pillows
positioned just so

there is only one basic problem with those dabs of color
used as accents

People
throw them!
Then the jig is up and you are not fooling anyone

And your stain is exposed
for all the world to see

How about tablecloths?
All of mine have some sort of stain
Either from candles, wine or chocolate

Don’t get me started on spot removal remedies

That’s another story

You
strategically
place the center piece or a grouping of some sort
in the precise location needed
thinking no one will ever know what lurks under those beautiful flowers

inevitably
Someone always blows your cover
Or shall we say for the sake of this story
Your cover up

when they move whatever you took great pains to put in place
out of the way
so they can see the person across from them

you were outed again!
you just cant fool anyone these days

How about the ripped seam under your arm pit
You discover it right before you leave the house
No time to change

You tell yourself
No one will notice
I will just keep my hands at my side all night long

No problem

Until
Someone says

Who wants desert!
And your arm shoots up faster than a comet
and
your hole is exposed to the whole group

I can’t end this without mentioning
one of the most ridiculous cover ups
Of all time

and one of my favorites

The comb over!
Picture

'the Donald'

Good old Donald with way too much hair spray Trump
is supposed to be such a smart savvy guy

Who the heck does he think he is fooling?
He is only making a fool of himself!

And that’s another story ]]> 124956 2008-07-18 01:00:09 omg
while writing a post about being late
and telling the truth

I was almost late wishing
my oldest daughter
Nicole
who is a quarter century today
25 years old
a very happy birthday

I love you Nicole
and
I will finish this in the morning
the dog ate my poem
]]> 124953 2008-07-18 00:53:19 I hate to be late,
I think it’s rude,
But
it happens once in awhile
Unfortunately

Not enough to wear the scarlet L on my lapel

Thank goodness it’s not my normal MO
I don’t think anyone would actually call me a late comer

Perhaps a late bloomer
Which I was
But that’s a different story

Nevertheless
Some individuals are notoriously late
On a regular basis

In addition
these rather inconsiderate people
(Sorry I know its hard to hear)

Have to be tricked occasionally
to get them to show up at a reasonable time

this group must be told the party starts
an hour before it actually does
however
these late shows are still the last to arrive

it’s the strangest thing

the chronically late
do not believe they are being disrespectful
really and truly

and most of the laddie come latelies
least the ones I happen to know
are otherwise very nice people

they just don’t get it
its like they take dumb pills

another story

these poor souls do not understand
that time is valuable
and

the ones who struggle to be on time
might have been able to fit a few more things in before they left

yet
decided against it

for fear of being late

and not wanting to keep someone else waiting


maybe some people just don’t value time
I don’t know
I can’t figure it out


These wise‘late’guys
Always have a host of reasons
why
they were late



The dog ate my homework
Wait

That’s the wrong excuse category
Another story

Let’s see
They caught a train
could not catch a cab
They inform you of the number of red lights between your house and theirs
They overslept
The phone or doorbell rang as they were just about to leave
oh and a flat tire is a popular one
how about
My watch must have stopped
or
I thought you said we were meeting at (what time is it now?)

If
I find myself frantically trying to get somewhere
on time
The above excuses run through my mind like water through a colander
But I have one little problem
I really hate to lie or be lied to
So
No matter how much trouble the truth gets me into
And believe me it certainly has at one time or another
I Choose the truth
and simply say

I am so sorry I am late
Please accept my apology

I have a million excuses
Would you like one?

So far, I have never had any requests
The person I unintentionally offended
Usually laughs
Accepts my sincere apology
And
we go on from there

on the other hand

waiting for someone who is late
is extreemly
irritating
first you look at your watch
then you glance at your calendar
making sure you have the right day and time

you always doubt yourself first

then you start looking around
wondering how long you should wait
what is a reasonable amount of time?
maybe something happeded
what if the person you are waiting for got into an accident
are you in the right location
if you move to check out another place
will they show up and think you didnt

so
do yourself and everyone else a favor

just be on time

do whatever you have to do

but
never ever be a no show

at least call

don't be a coward

I guess it is better late
than never

and
its always better
to tell the truth
the whole truth
and nothing but
the truth
so help you God

thats another story
and truthfully
the very last part in red was not written by me
I heard it somewhere else before

so help me God!



 ]]> 124235 2008-07-16 17:03:45


I was feeling a bit overwhelmed
And perhaps a tad sorry for myself
Actually
 in the middle of a pity party

Another story

But
The Puppies found me
and
started licking my face and nuzzling up against me
and
As I sat there for quite awhile with them
I began talking away

“oh my puppies
I love my puppies
you are the only ones that care
you know I needed
some
there theres!”

oh
you are such good puppies
mommy loves you!

that was me talking
out loud
to my dogs


suddenly
for a minute or two
I wondered where my cell phone was
I worried it might be purse calling someone

did you read that post?
beware of the purse call
read it if you have a chance

anyway
when I got up to find the phone

I saw a book on the shelf

I really do not remember buying it

Although
that is not unusual

I buy a lot of books and never get a chance to read them

Yet
for some reason

right then and there

with a nose full of snot
that needed to be blown
and no Kleenex within reach

I wiped the long string of clear taffy like substance
that seemed to have no end
on my jeans

yeah
I know
Too much information

I digress

But how can you have a pity party without crying
And how can you
Ugly cry
As Oprah calls it
Without getting a nose full

I apologize in advance
for being grossly graphic

So I opened the book

And
began reading

sometimes

I truly believe
God is like a librarian

Recommending good books much like Oprah

I refer to her a lot
don't I?

She should have me on her show

Another story

anyway

and he (God) puts them in my path

sometimes

I almost have to trip over them

though
I feel like
whatever is in that book
that I happen to find

and start reading

is Him

Talking
directly
to me

so whatever words
I happen to read

I know
Without a doubt

I needed to read

at that very moment

and

in this particular case

the book was called

GODS JOYFUL SURPRISE
by
Sue Monk Kidd
finding yourself loved

just the introduction alone was wonderful

I did not have time to read much
yet
but
 the things I did read

and the other parts
I skimmed

were very pertinent to my current situation

and it helped
a lot

and
afterwards

I felt
Soooo
Much better!

I totally related to what the author was saying

something really caught my attention
jumped right off the  page
and into my lap 

she mentions
the fact that she just made an announcement
to her family one day

that she wanted to be a writer

at the time
she had a husband,
2 kids and worked part time as a nurse
and had a very busy schedule

her son or husband said
" but you are already a nurse!"

now
to make another story
a long one
short

all I know
without having to read much more


she succeeded

because
sometime afterwards

Sue Monk Kidd
wrote a best seller
called
'THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES'

At  another
time
I will talk about all the books
God has forced me to read for my own good!

I digress

all I know is
when it was time to get moving

I blew my nose

finally!

and
washed my face

and
cleaned the kitchen

washed the floor

did a load of laundry

gave the dogs a bath
and

talked to the DJ
and
it is now 3:30

and I have a zillion things
to do
and
what am I doing?

(It wasnt a time management book people!)

Im
writing a post for my blog

and
secretly hoping

Oprah will read this
or
perhaps
one of her producers

And one of them will call
and want me to come on the show
talk about a joyful surprise!
omg!

And it will be one of those dream themed ones

The
A make your wish come true kind
or
A do you need an Oprah connection?

And do I?
who doesnt?

Yeah!

dah
A Make your wish come true dream show

I could use a literary agent
To get a book deal

Or
just have her
Find someone that wants to pay me to write!

maybe
Gail could use someone for the magazine
O

And
Even though I could use

A make over
Not to mention a room
or house
make over
Don’t you just love Nate!

Keep Suzie, the financial genus away from me please
She makes me nervous
I digress

That’s what I would really want
If I had the chance

Now
How did I go
From a pity party
To a book signing
In one post?

I guess
That’s another story?
however
Im sure it was God
that helped me!
 ]]> 123657 2008-07-15 13:20:51 The grad bash
I have heard of parties that somehow lose control during the festivities,
Yet
never a party that is so
Discombobulated
before it ever occurred.

However

this one takes the cake

OMG!
The cake!
I forgot to order the cake!

note to self

order the cake

We are holding a high school grad party this Sunday for our daughter
The invitations did not get sent out till the last minute,
That’s another story
see Calendar girl post

unfortunately
that is not the only problem we are facing

I have absolutely no idea who ended up receiving and invitation
and as a result
have no idea who will be here this Sunday?

Originally
We made a guest list
Gave it to our daughter

Perhaps
that’s where we made a crucial error in judgment

not that my daughter
who graduated from a very prestigious and academically challenging high school
with honors
isn’t totally capable of taking on the task

although after this experience
I do not think she should consider party planning as a future endeavor.

First of all
My cousin Joan and her husband, Steve
have always provided our party entertainment and never let us down
They are fabulous
They successfully DJ'd
All our family functions for as long as I can remember
Unfortunately

They were booked this Sunday,

Perhaps
It was because we did not ask them until it was way too late?

And now
I can't find the substitute DJ
we only found a few days ago

The group I gave my
credit card number to
over the phone,
so who knows if we will have any music

no big deal I guess



That’s the least of my problems.

I digress

It’s the guest list and the count.
That I just can't
seem to get a handle on?

Which is a much bigger issue when you think about it

So
How much food and drinks do we need?
No idea?

and
did we goof up and maybe
over look someone who
Should have been invited?

That might possibility be hurt by the oversight?

You never know,
on the other hand
others might be thrilled they did not hear from us!

There is a fine line drawn at this very point sometimes?
It’s a bit tricky

Did you invite people who looked at the invite and said
"Why in the world did they invite us?
We don’t even like them!"

Or worse!
"Oh yeah, they sent us an invitation to theirs
And
they did not even bother to show up or even respond to ours!"

The nerve of those people!

Geeze
Maybe we did
invite someone who really did not want to come?

And missed others that did?

I have no idea
????????????????????????????
Because everyday I find out new info from Sam

and guess what?

none of it is good!

For example
I asked my Dad this morning if he received an invitation.

He said that Sam gave him one a few days ago
(thank Goodness)
that had someone elses name on the envelope!
what?

she just crossed it out
he said
and handed it over

" Dad, whose name happened to be on there?"
I said
and he did not know?

So
I asked my daughter about it

Oh, hum?
she said,
yeah,
" lets see, I think it was Aunt June?"

"Sam, you mean you did not invite Aunt June to your graduation party?"

" oophs"
" Yeah, I thought you could call her,
Pa wanted to see the picture"

" Sweetheart,
when were you going to tell me that I needed to call Aunt June?"
" Oh, am I bad!" she said.

Note to self
Add Aunt June to the mounting phone call list!


Later on

I casually mentioned to her that I feel a tad embarrassed
that I never made it to my cousins sons graduation party
(I had a very good excuse mind you,
Only
I never had a chance to call her and explain it)


I wanted to have his gift here when they arrived at our party,

Note to self
Call cousin Sue and apologize

I figured I'd fit that in before Sunday
Among all my phone calls


So, while I was writing the check for my cousins Sue's son
I casually asked Sam if she sent one to them,
keeping my fingers crossed
And she proudly said
smiling
Yes, I'm sure I did!


Then
thought for a minute

always a dangerous moment
…I'm holding my breath…

and added
actually
I don’t think I sent one to Lou, her sister,
(also my cousin)
Because
I did not know her address!

Sam, honey,
when were you going to tell me that you sent one to one sister and not to the other?
"Oh, am I bad!"

Note to self
Call my cousin Lou

today is Tuesday
The party is Sunday

This week is filled
with a zillion party unrelated obligations

The calendar is relentless
See Calendar girl post

Now
What am I going to do if it rains?

Note to self
Don’t sweat the small stuff

Another story!
Stay tune ]]> 123409 2008-07-15 00:31:06 dear thoughtful  friends
ok is it me"
is someone doing this on purpose?
Is it a conspiracy?
does anyone else notice yet another change around this ever changing
thought...not so dot calm pattern of a site?

or am I the only one?
move in closer
do you realize people are now starting to use their real names now. 
yes indeed they are
you know I would never lie to you
 First it was
ok, lets close our eyes and everybody change your profile pic every 2 minutes,
actually more than I change my underware
I digress
 and it got me so confused,
I did not know where I was, so I decided I would only think of people
in terms of their name,
that is
their fake silly name or whatever name was under their picture regardless of what that picture was,
a real person, a cartoon character, a blob, a piece of fruit, no matter...
I just mangaged to recognize my buddies and their blogs by their name
the one under the constantly changing picture...,
for instance
take for example my good buddy,  humptydumptyhead
now, when someone writes a post and refers to my buddy humpty,
instead of saying
"oh, that humptydumpty head... had a great fall" 
they say,
Poor Fred, did you see that guy take a fall?

I really cant take much more of this
Im loosing it people!
Im not centered anymore!
Im a little to the right!
although
I could be wrong?
Im not getting any younger
and my family is starting to wonder what Im doing in my office way past my bedtime
even my gal circe said
someone was going to hook me up to an IV!
I am loosing my creative energy
how in the world am I ever going to get discoverd and be a famous writer and buy that house in cape cod the one that diane  lived in during that movie with Jack
if all of my post are about my confusion on this site
what will my fans who are out in the real world think of a stupid post like this one
do you think it has the slightest chance to win me fame and fortune
I think not!
I'm pretty sure even Emily, my daughters friend from school,  stopped reading, she doesnt even come around anymore
yep, I think I scared her off
and she used to comment on a regular basis,
she has no idea what I have been talking about?
so she just lost interest
cant say that I blame her
all inside jokes folks
no one outside of never never blog land can relate!
this has become a closed
assisted living community
no place for outsiders
a members only club
we are chasing all those important literary agents away people!
Emily and normal people like
her just cant relate
its just not the same
and once again
If I read a post about a guy named Fred
it goes in one ear and out the other
I have no idea who Fred is,
I did not memorize Freds real name people
I can not retain all of this info people!
they are saying
Fred said...blah blah blah
and I think
who the heck is Fred?
and my good friend humptydumpyhead is never going to get a get well card from me because I had no idea he took a fall,
I thought a guy named Fred fell on his head instead
a total stranger to me
and I could care less if he ever got it together again...
but if someone mentioned
humptydumptyman
had an accident
I'd be all over it
planning a fund raiser with all his kings horses and all his kings men

thanks for listening
sincerely
rosemary
]]> 123224 2008-07-14 17:18:02 An up close and personal,
an interesting back lot story
knowing some info about the players
getting you up to speed
placing you on the same page
filling in the gaps
giving you the low down

concerning the people or things
being discussed
gives you a vested interest in whatever activity you happen
to be a participant.

Those sorts of things are aids
to assist one in making whatever sport or activity
you happened to be attending, viewing or engaging in
much more enjoyable.

Have you ever gone to a cocktail party and walked up to a group of people
all talking about something and you have no idea what it was?
You just stand there and look dumb.
You have nothing to offer because you can’t even follow the story,
it
does not make any sense to you
yet it certainly looks like everyone else knows the scoop.
They might has well be speaking a foreign language as far as you are concerned.
You try to pay attention and follow the story,
 just can't

Tonight for example, all your neighbors are out in front  laughing and talking
having a rather animated conversation about something
when you were heading to your mailbox. 
You heard one gal say that someone paid a zillion dollars to Brad and Angelena
for something and the entire group was voicing their opinions on this matter?
But you had no idea why anyone would pay them that amount for nothing?
 Naturally you might begin to wonder why?
 If it was my husband, he could care less, but that’s another story…
he is just not as curious and I am!
I digress
Then some kind soul steps up and says,
hey, you look confused, let me get you up to speed
Angie and Brad just had twins
and
that is the amount of money someone paid them for a picture of their babies!
Oh now I get it, can you believe that!

Joe, my hubby
on the other hand
might
if Im lucky
come home with the news that someone had twins
and if you asked him,
who
or
if they were boys or girls or one of each, hed say
I don’t know, I didn’t ask
Another story



At the moment someone shares the subject with you
and fills in the gaps,
you feel like you are part of the discussion
and

no longer feel lost

Or left out.


How about walking in a room and everyone had just started watching a movie,
and one nice guy stops the action,
fills you in on the part you missed and hits play…
now you are able to enjoy the movie with the rest of the crowd.

If no one told you the background story or what had happened thus far,
you certainly would not have any desire to watch it
and
if you decided to take a seat anyway,
everyone would get mad at you for talking and asking questions
when they were trying to follow the plot.


Sometimes all you need is the low down!
yet
must always
take the high ground to get there!

.
please
Do not confuse the low down, the scoop, the real poop,
The up close and personal, the good friend willing to get you up to speed, the tv guide
Or any of these things with GOSSIP.

Never ever confuse those innocent activities, which happen to be public knowledge or as a lawyer would say, part of the public record,
with gossip,
one of the ugliest words in the
ENGLISH DICTIONARY

I detest gossip!
It is hurtful,
YET
getting the lowdown
is helpful!


Whenever I tune in to any televised Olympics
regardless of the season,
the competetion I am viewing is only as interesting as the up close and personals.

If the network provides its audience with a good dose vignettes they choose to play before each event,
now you have a vested interest. Now you feel like a part of the action. How about when the US won the gold medal in the hockey game! By the time that week was over, I was ready to invite the team over for dinner, I felt like I knew them.

In those prerecorded pieces you learn about the athletes home town or how hard they struggled to get to there or perhaps are told one of them is dedicating his metal to his sick mom or another is a brother or son to another famous gold metal winner…it just makes the entire telecast so much more exciting to watch, because you have someone to root for…
Without it, all the athletes look the same.

Same goes for televised Basketball, baseball, football and golf. I can only tolerate them if someone gives me the back lot story. Then, it feels like I know the person and based on this new info, I am able to choose my favorites based on their story, and their history. Just watching random players, is extremely boring.

I loved cheering in the stands for my kids no matter what sport they happened to be participating in because I knew all the players and was able to get totally involved in the moment.

To make my point, and I do have one this time, occasionally I find myself away from home searching for my favorite show and have no idea what channel to locate it. That’s when I start looking for the local tv guide to direct me to my intended destination.
That’s another story

All of the above
are simply an aid
To get on the same page


.
please
Do not confuse the low down, the scoop, the real poop,
The up close and personal, the good friend willing to get you up to speed, the tv guide
Or any of these things with
GOSSIP.

may I repeat


Never ever confuse those innocent activities, which happen to be public knowledge or as a lawyer would say, part of the public record,
with gossip, one of the ugliest words in the ENGLISH DICTIONARY

I detest gossip! It is hurtful,
YET
getting the lowdown is helpful



"Gossip is idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others.
While gossip does or maybe doesn't forms one of the oldest and (still) the most common means of spreading and sharing facts and views, it also has a reputation for the introduction of errors and other variations into the information thus transmitted. The term also carries implications that the news so transmitted (usually) has a personal or trivial nature.
Some people commonly understand gossip as meaning the spreading of dust and misinformation, as (for example) through excited discussion of scandals. Some newspapers carry "gossip columns" which retail the social and personal lives of celebrities or of élite members of certain communities.[citation needed][dubious – discuss]"
dictionary


The repeating of info about someone else without their permission and spreading some sort of news which is a private matter and happens to be nobody’s business especially when some of the facts have been exaggerated or distorted can only lead to hurt feelings and other very bad things.

If anyone has ever read anything I have ever written,
I am CONSTANTLY
saying, if its public knowledge…
then hand over
the goods baby!
I have no idea what you are talking about,
fill me in, please,
so I am able to get on the same page as everyone else.

I do not like gossip
and I never want to be associated with it,
I want to steer clear,
Gossip is not nice!

In my senior year at Mother McAuley, the play we performed was
OUR TOWN, my characters name was Loretta Soames, the town gossip.
I really hated that part,
and that was the first and last time I wanted my name
to be associated with that ugly word.

And another story

One time, someone was spreading a little gossip about me and another person called to tell me what she heard from a third person. I immediately picked up the phone and called the spreader and thanked her for her concern, then gave her the facts…I don’t think she ever said another word about me ever again.

But that’s another story!
]]> 122887 2008-07-13 23:46:54 my calendar is such a nag
constantly telling me what to do and when to do it
it thinks it's the boss of me
wants to run my life
I can't make any plans without consulting it
The obnoxious thing hates spontaneity
has to go everywhere I go
like a younger sibling
and if its not included
I have a price to pay
big time!

Heavens to Betsy
(can someone tell me where that expression came from)
I digress

If someone loses their calendar
we act like there has been a death in the family
Oh, MY GOD No!
I just couldnt live without my calendar
I dont know what I'd do if I were in your shoes
I feel for you
Im so sorry for your loss
You Poor Thing
You need a ham, can I bring you dinner?

another scenario

someone you love
is having a party
you receive an invitation
call to rsvp

I really wish I could be there, you know I do
but, Im so sorry
I just looked at my calendar
and I can't make it!

There are severe consequences
when you do not study your calendar in advance

believe you me
I have suffered from calendar wrath

As a result of not doing my calendar homework
a week from today might be a nightmare around here

I was going along my merry way
not looking at my calendar
as usual
trying to live day to day

you know,
its that darn calendar that keeps me so busy,
I dont know which end is up

I really dont have the time to peek ahead of schedule
I am a blogger you know

I digress

therefore

as a result
of my
negligence

mr calendar decided to teach me a lesson

I did not know a week from today
was the 20th
did you?

Apparently, my know it all calendar
knows more than I do

thats another story

July 20th we had planned
to hold Samanthas
high school graduation party
OMG

while in crisis time crunch mode
I drove to Kinkos in a panic
ordered
some invites

then
Sam was supposed to get them addressed and in the mail
asap

truth be told
some of them made it to the post office on Friday
a few others were mailed on Saturday

however

there are a few invited guests who still dont have a clue they are invited

not a single person had more than a weeks notice

including me

some are going to have even less time

because Sam did not know all the addresses
a few homeless envelopes with names on them
are sitting on the counter
does that situation remind anyone of anything?
see wishing well post

I digress

we might be hand delivering a few tomorrow and
possibly
making a few calls

There is a darling picture of Sam on the invitation 

although
regretably,
she will have a very short fridge life
Instead of seeing little round faced Sammy
wearing her Daddys big golf hat
smiling perpetually for a month or so
in everybodys kitchen
among all the other reminders,
calendars and photos
on the door or the buliten board

She will be lucky if she last a day or two before her special occasion

which reminds me
I havent heard from the DJ
They were supposed to e mail me a contract
I gave them my credit card over the phone
Actually I never even heard of the group before 2 days  ago
when my calendar began flipping its pages
considering the circumstances
just finding one
given such short notice was a miracle

we decided to call the rental place and ask for a smaller tent

then sam just informed us
a few minutes ago
since it was too late to mail invitations to her friends from school
she just posted a little announcement on face book
OMG!

thats another story

Now I have absolutely no idea
how many people will be here a week from tonight

I better make sure I have plenty of ice!
another story

My pain in the rear calendar
must have been feeling quite neglected
it sure knows how to get revenge

and if I dont have enough to worry about

what if some people think that they originally were not invited

to this little bash
or
big blow out

take your pick

its anybodys guess

I digress

some of our guests

that is....if we have any

could be under the false impression

that we might have had so many regrets

 (people not being able to make it) 

and
because we had a few extra invitations

we decided to mail them

to the people who did not make the original cut

Honestly
that is not the case!
Nothing could be further from the truth

This whole thing is a result of me not paying attention to my calendar
when it was
trying to tell me
it was
that time of the month
lol
Its always PMS ing

so I paid no attention

and now Im being punished

I really thought I could manage my life
without it

I hate being so dependant

I absolutley detest peeking ahead at the next month
its like skipping chapters in a book

I have a hard enough time with
tomorrow

tell me

who has the time to sit and ponder their calendar
let alone imput new information daily?

to add insult to injury

have you heard of the expression
you can not have two cooks in the kitchen?
or something like that
having to do with soup or broth

I digress

its not really a good idea to try to keep two calendars

yet

some of us
are more trusting than others

and
Im not one of them, 

I need a back up

problem is

my electronic device
and my old fashioned calendar with the pretty pictures
are not in sync

they are like little kids
always fighting for control
never agreeing
who am I to believe ?

mine tell totally different stories

jealous creatures

its the old timers vs the young generation

they will never coexist

can't be done

just try to get your husbands calendar
and your calendar

to agree on anything
impossible
without wasting a perfectly good evening trying to sort things out

Honey, do we have anything scheduled for the third of...
what!
no we cant
thats the night we planned to go...

get my drift!

How in the world do all those type A personalities
plan family vacations so far in advance?

I guess
I'll never know
thank God there are only 12 months in a year!

and thats another story




]]> 122848 2008-07-13 22:31:11 my own wishing well
is pretty deep
and is never going to run dry

my get well, sympathy, congrats, graduation, anniversary,
notes of love and encouragement
share the same home with my holiday greetings
birthday wishes, and thank you notes,
including a number of other categories
too numerous to mention

all of these cards
reside in that
miscellaneous file
located
somewhere

size wise
it
belongs in the Guiness Book of World Records

the only cards that actually make it to the person intended
are the ones hand delivered

in person

while attending the event
or special occasion

such as
a wedding, graduation or birthday

if for some reason we are unable to attend

my well intentioned thoughts

inevitably

end up in that good old
miscellaneous file
located
somewhere


unfortunetly
checks and gift cards are usually included in those
oophs

occasionally
and this is really sad

I will find a letter I wrote
a long long long time ago

one in which
I poured my heart out
to a friend who lost a parent or close relative

or
someone suffering from an illness
or
some other problem
or
difficult situation

maybe
a friend was simply having a bad day?

they say timing is everything
so now
years after the fact

I really dont feel its the appropriate time to send any of these

same goes for birthday cards
you dont send someone and ancient
dont worry you are turning 30 card
when they are very close to becoming 50

If anyone had any idea how many notes of appreciation
and long poems
I've written
over the years
to be included
in Mothers Day and Fathers Day
greetings
etc

You'd be amazed

I have so many cards and so many sentiments meant for so many people
individuals who truly needed me at the time

who never knew
and probably never will

realize how much they meant to me

Its such a shame
and
shame on me!
perhaps

someday

I will come across this file
put them in order

look up the addresses

even if I have to call some of them

hunt them down

to find out if they are still among the living

and
if I encounter a name that doesnt ring a bell
I will do a comprehensive search

until I locate them

an refresh my memory

then

add a few more stamps

since the price of postage has risen drastically over the years

another story
and
once and for all

send all my cards to their rightful owners

pray
they remember who I am

because

I just wanted to let them know
that I was

so sorry for their loss
glad their operation was over and they are out of the hospital
wishing them good luck in their new home
even though they no longer live there
wishing them a happy anniversary
even if they are no longer married
I just want to tell them

I'm so sorry
it took me so long to say

much success in your new job
even though you are now retired
in some cases, maybe fired

and please
cheer up

Seasons Greetings everybody
wish you were here
have a great day
glad to have a friend like you
Happy (extreemly belated)birthday
and
Hi, its just me. wanting yopu to know, Im thinking about you
oh well
don't I wish ]]> 122829 2008-07-13 21:54:06 Every Christmas
I undertake the enormous
labor intensive project
of gathering everyone together
choosing the wardrobe
the location and props
assembling the participants in one room
agreeing on a pose
Coralling and cajoling and threatening my family
to smile
until I am satisfied with the results

another story


after the ordeal
order a few hundred from the printer
proof read them
occasionally finding errors

returning them
until we finally have the finished product

and then the real work begins
time to undertake the tedious process
of
sending Christmas Cards to friends and family
geeze
they start arriving at our house the day after Thanksgiving
and

with the delivery of each new card
I fill with anxiety

because I am so far behind on mine

Normally
I do not have them in hand
until

Christmas Eve
I digress

Like a little elf
I insist upon
writing a lengthly personal note
on each and every one

Never ever do I
just give it a
SEASONS GREETINGS
or use the words already written on the card

just screaming to be sealed
and sent on its way

nope

I provide warmth and individual attention

although
I do draw the line at Holiday Letters
been there, done that!

thats another story

and
as usual
I manage quite well to get them in the envelopes

lick them
the envelopes and stamps that is

before the lick me

and I never forget my return address

however
if the addresses are not at my fingertips
and the stamps readily available

I cart them around for awhile
trying to fool myself into thinking
they will be mailed

sometime before Easter

more than half them never see the inside of a mailbox

instead

end up
somewhere
in my
Miscellaneous file
another story
see archives

but just in case
history repeats itself again this year
Let me be the first to wish you a very Merry Christmas
 and Happy New Year! ]]> 122821 2008-07-13 21:25:04 This post is dedicated to every single person in my entire life
that ever did anything nice for me

I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize
for my bad manners
and
let you know how sorry I am
and embarrassed
that you nice people
never received a thank you note from me
expressing my gratitude

oh one or two of you miracously did
but thats another story

I realize this public apology isn't enough
I am totally ashamed of my behavior and lack of follow through
Emily Post would give me a tongue lashing if she were still alive
that being said
even though the mail man never delivered
my sincere words of indebtedness

that does not mean
I did not feel it
at the time

the fact of the matter is

I never ever fail to write those special words of greatefulness

thats not exactly the problem

Actually,
most of mine 
are rather lengthy

and furthermore

I never purchase the lazy mans thank you notes
those ready made ones

where some total stranger 
from Hallmark Cards does the thanking

no sir ee

I buy the blank ones

and go into elaborate detail
in my best penmanship
about how much I appreciated
the gesture
the thought
the favor
the gift
the weekend
your hospitality
whatever

plus

I take it to the next level
put the card in the envelope
and
seal it with a kiss

and

write the persons name on the front
while including my return address
however

this is the moment in time
when I run into difficultly
completing the task

If the address is not staring me in the face
and the stamp not readily available

the flowery note of appreciation and gratitude
is tossed to the side
winds up in my perpetually overflowing file
the one I maintain
called
miscellaneous
which is located

somewhere

I do the exact same thing with Christmas Cards

but thats another story
its located in the archives
 ]]> 122317 2008-07-12 12:06:08 Summer reruns
Or the best of

Recently
bloggers are saving us a bit of time
By dusting off their archives
and bringing back some of their best stuff
stories or poems
we might have missed.

I just read a post by pixie
called repeats
I think it’s a great idea

I know
Scotslad did this awhile back
And I’ve notice more and more
of this new trend

If you have a favorite story
Or a list of them

Please share it with the rest of us

Occasionally we will discover a blogger
Someone new to us
But not necessarily new

And we might possibly book mark them
But don’t always have the extra time
To
Go back to the beginning

So this suggestion saves us from
Searching ourselves

Why not make a little reading list
And when we have some time
We will check it out

Is that another story
Or the same old story? ]]> 122302 2008-07-12 11:50:31
this blog does not exist

Unfortunately an error has occured
has been reported to the Thoughts.com website management team.
Please try again later.
jeeze!

what besides this message
gets your goat?

I just wrote a post
a quick one
and when I write a quick one
I never bother to write it anywhre else and copy paste it
I guess
no more quickies for me!
 
]]> 122279 2008-07-12 11:12:49 a whos who or sort of a what degree from Kevin Bacon thing,
a thoughts.com guide?
 
Doug is going to sub for another blogger who was in the middle of a contest with e2s and someone who is sick, to post 100 blogs in the month of July
which explains alot of things
and another person is going to help who I believe is married to the sick person.
Now if you are like me,
you had no idea any of this was happening. 
Plus,
When Doug announced his intentions,
a few comments on his post
made me aware that one person was married to another and another person had a neice
 who offered to help

which doesnt seem fair to e2s
but who am I to say?
apparently she is OK with it
I digress

 and
...to make a long story short...if you know any connections 
between people
sort of like a Kevin Bacon thing...
would you mind sharing
Maybe Doug would do some sort of a thoughts.com family tree thing on one of his sub posts.
or maybe not

 if you know that  someone is someones cousin or know  two members are married
and perhaps one person has a thing going with another
and someone is somebodys sister and boyfriend and husband and neighbor and parent and best friend
and enemy (OMG) or whatever...

it makes things a little complicated for the people not in the know...
so if its all public info, 
would you mind leaving a comment to try to explain it...
relationships around here?
I think it would make a lot of sense knowing some of the details

I remember not having any idea about who in the heck baby Stanley actually was and who he was related to?

all this info could be compiled into a
cheat sheet
whenever I watch TV I need one at my side
and if I cant find that sucker
Im always asking
hey where  is HGTV?
what channel is clean sweep on?
or what happened to Wee TV?

I know that scotslad is married to Forget about it
and circe is married to still kickin
but thats about it?

anyone else want to share
their inside knowledge?
]]> 121416 2008-07-10 18:00:17 where oh where is the QOD....question mark?
I lost it....exclamation point!
how did I manage to do that...question mark?
I looked in popular posts...period.
and saw a question having something to do with nurses
but knew that wasnt it.... period ... .and question mark...?
maybe it was a run on sentence like most of mine
and it ran way...question mark?
maybe it had a subject and no verb, so it was incomplete...? question mark
do we have a lost and found here for missing questions...question mark?
maybe we just ran out of questions...question mark?
  ]]> 121015 2008-07-10 01:03:25 when I first started gardening
the most amazing phenomenon occurred
did you know

Plants are actually able to rise from the dead?
I thought only Jesus could do that!

 the most beautiful yellow plant in a hanging basket
hung in the center of my deck
I say yellow because I had no idea what kind of flower it was
 I lost that skinny card they stick in the mud with all the instructions

do you think thats where they got the expression
a stick in the mud?
I digress

All I knew was it was full and lush
and although you should not have any favorites
this yellow looker was mine

I watered that sucker and even fluffled it once in awhile
when it occasionally got tangled
when no one was around,
I'd whisper sweet nothings to it

my husband was begining to get jealous
another story

 
one morning I went outside bright and early to say hello
and it was dead
dead
dead
dead
as dead as my battery was last week when I left the inside lights on
I will never trust the automatic shut off
device in my car ever again!

but thats another story

my mind raced
what had I done to kill
such a beautiful God given gift of flora and fauna
I was heartbroken
and immediately called a friend who was an expert in all things green
she admitted she too
was stumped

Gently
but firmly
she informed me that I indeed had a dead plant on my hands
and
I might as well toss it in the garbage

I'll admit
I was rather reluctant to do so
that once yellow pre madanna  set me back a few bucks
yet there was little hope for this one

although
 before she left
she said I might as well drown it
what!
the baby with the bath water?
she said
"just put it in a bucket and flood it"
let the water flow
afterall
I had nothing to loose

as she pulled away
returning to her perfect garden with plenty of lawn ornaments
I did as she said

never say die

and the very next morning I was simply flabbergasted
my prize yellow bloom was blooming once again

it was alive
and thriving
a true miracle to behold

just the day before
It looked like a worn out housewife in a tiny chaotic kitchen with no airconditioning on a boiling hot day trying to wash the floor for the second time because all the kids in the neighborhood decided to make brownies and cool aid by themselves while she was on the phone

and now
only a day later
it looked like a pampered princess who had just been to a spa
after receiving the all day super duper treatment,
 while wearing one of those luscious white robes
and listening to soft music, drinking fresh lemon water,
reading a magazine and eating an apple with her feet up!

now,
for all you novice gardner want to be's out there

let me leave you with some parting advice

even though you offer your plant water
It doesnt always drink
which reminds me of the old saying
you can lead a horse to water
but you cant make him drink
I digress

Some dirt is hard and the water simply does not penetrate it
so
You really have to flood it
and if the water comes out of the bottom too fast
it was just passing through
and your plant will still be as dry as Hinsdale, Illinois
and thats another story

]]> 120865 2008-07-09 18:40:45 Since all my plants were dead by the end of May
I knew there had to be a better way

The money spent on flowers for my yard
was totally wasted and that was hard

No time to take care of the garden and pull the weeds
forgetabout starting beds from seeds

actually at the time, I had no idea you could do that
I thought all flowers came from a thing called flat

Since I never felt like talking to my plants
It was time to finally take a stance

I had an idea and thought ...oh, it couldnt hurt
 I bought plastic buds and stuck them in the dirt

This deception began when my kids were tots
A colorful array of flowers filled my baskets and all the pots

From afar, it looked like I had quite a green thumb
when the compliments arrived, im afraid I kept mum
(pun intended...I digress
back to the story, where I confess)

I believe I know what blew my cover and how the world found out
that following winter all my flowers continued to sprout

Never before had I been successful getting a thing to grow
now my gorgeous geraniums were blooming in the snow

The jig was up, they knew my trick
my daisies were not the kind you pick

not having to water and fertilize was my dream
yet friends and neighbors were on to my brilliant scheme

I did not care one single bit
that everyone made fun of it

One spring when my kids were older
and I became a little bolder

someone sold me a gardening book
so I brought it home and took a look

Back I drove to buy some tools and a brand new hose
And thats the day I began to live up to my name...Rose

The rest is another story and who knows if it will rhyme
depends if I can find the time

Im pruning and replanting today
and a number of pots are waiting for me in sickbay

So my good buds, I must bid you adeu
I have a bit of gardening to do!




]]> 120509 2008-07-08 22:48:58 Did you ever hit on somebody?
and wondered what it would be like
when you were all alone
just the two of you
oh the possibilities are limitless
the anticipation palpable
your desire is overwhelming

earlier,
you had so many choices
like a kid in a candy store
like bathing suits at the beach
like wallpaper books
and lipstick colors
and golf caps
and sweatshirts


yet, for some reason
this one

caught your fancy
tweaked your curiousity
honked your horn
rang your bell

so you decided
to go for it

only to discover
it was just another random post
hidden in some recent post
 disappointment slaps you smack in the face

seems some one was angry at their mother
thats another story
so they were grounded
because they did not turn in their homework
blah blah blah
blah blog!

and you say to yourself
was it really worth the effort?

maybe next time
I will think long and hard
before I hit on another stranger
ever again ]]> 120492 2008-07-08 22:32:00 I have been told that no one wants to read a long story
therefore
because my short stories
are longer than some peoples long stories
and thats another story
I need to work on this problem
and
that my friends
is the long and the short of it ]]> 120359 2008-07-08 15:54:24 After discovering we were going to be blessed
with our 4th child
Katie

who will be Sweet 16
this September

and an only child very soon
a life long dream of hers

well
at least she will be
the only child living at home
I digress

(Sam is going off to college)
another story

Joe and I told the family we had an announcement to make

Hey kids, we have some news!
and
 who can guess what it is?
here is a little hint...
 

"ok is everybody ready?"

they were all perched at the edge of their seats

"Sam is not going to be the baby anymore!"

With that, J.R., her older brother jumped up and said,
in his wide eyed way
"Are we going to sell her!"
  ]]>