We woke up bright and early in sunny Sandusky, Ohio,
overlooking the beautiful but disgustingly polluted Lake Erie.
After breakfast at Joe's expense
and a few laughs
at my expense
over the Bates Motel Fiasco
see vacation blog part one
we headed to the amusement park to amuse ourselves.
While waiting in the long line of our very first ride we encountered a little problem.
pun intended
Seemed there was a height restriction.
Kate was beside herself that she was only inches away from being able to go for a spin.
Being the creative one in the family,
as Joe often reminds me,
when he is trying to make another point,
I came up with a solution.
told everyone to give Kate their socks
we all socked it to her so to speak
after she slipped them on
and stuffed her little toes into her shoes
She could barley walk
but we call it our tall tale whenever we recount the story
it was quite a sight!
After she put
her best foot forward
we all hopped aboard.
Of course we all know who Sam sat next to
she was glued to the hip to Joe
always had tibs on him
Kate partnered with Nicole
and
poor JR was stuck with me again.
because of the wide range of ages of our kids
(10 years)
we knew we were not going to last very long together
the little ones wanted to go to the kiddie area and Nicole wanted to go to the grown up area
Joe hates heights and rides
so guess who stood in line with Nicole?
I have no fear of heights
and love rides especially roller coasters
the faster the better
I do not get sick
or even scared
my reaction is exactly what the commercials call it
a thrill
so
Joe took the little ones
and
we made plans to meet up later
Nicole and I excitedly took our place
at the end of the long line
for the largest wooden roller coaster in the world.
We had fun waiting for our turn
as usual,
making friends with the people around us
of course
every word out of my mouth
was an embarrassment to my daughter
so what else is new?
Before we knew it,
we were being strapped in
after reading
all the danger and warning signs
along the way
do not ride if you are pregnant
have a bad back
have problems with your kidneys
have a neck
are colorblind
just kidding
but there was a giant list of reasons
why a person might decide after waiting forever
to abort
at the very last second
a ride lasting less than 3 minutes
thinking
perhaps it just might not be worth it
hey
not us
we could not wait to give the guy
with the bad dental work and the side burns our tickets
that we actually paid good money for...
heck, we were more than eager
to be tossed
and
jerked
and
spun around
lifted straight in the air
and pummeled to the ground
all the while
turning us upside down
and inside out
head over heels
now that's what I call fun
except for one thing
that oldest wooden roller coaster
killed my poor neck
I heard a crack
it felt like my necked just snapped
and
prayed the entire time that my head would stay attached till it was over
I did not need a doctor to know it wasn't good
When we finally came to a halt
I was not sure what to do
I had dragged everyone to this place
it was only my second ride
and here I sat
almost paralyzed
and believe me
in this particular instance
I am not exaggerating
I wanted to tell Nicole to call an ambulance and get Dad
instead
I decided
to do what most mothers do for sake of her family
play the martyr
and pretend everything was fine
oh,
I shared a complaint or two with my fellow parent passengers
as we all chimed in
oh my poor neck
oh my back
that was quite a jolt to the nervous system and my spinal cord
ha ha ha
lol
I had a hard time walking but tried to fake it
no one noticed a thing
because none of my family members pay much attention to me
the little kids had already had their fill of the park
JR and Nicole jumped on another ride
We all smiled and waved at them as they flew by
while I secretly pondered my fate
Joe was taking pictures
Soon,
we decided to get some lunch and go for a swim
by the time I made it back to the room
they were all in their suits
and
that's when they handed me the key
bye mom
this place is cool
see ya at the pool
I thought that maybe if I could just crack my neck it would feel better
so I decided to go in the water
and give myself a little water therapy
I dove right in and came to a dead head stop
crashing smack dab in the center of Joe's back
it was like hitting a steel wall
I actually saw stars
and
I'm not talking about
George Clooney
or
Brad Pitt
they would never be caught dead in Sandusky, Ohio anyway
that's precisely the moment when I sealed my fate
and the rest
is another story
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