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Whenever I pass a nursing home, I usually feel sad.
Cogitator wrote a post about his volunteer work in a nursing home.
It was really quite touching. Take a look.
http://www.thoughts.com/cogitator/blog/nursing-home-282196/
My comment ended up being way too long.
I had no idea I had so much to say about the subject matter.
Fancy that?
I happen to pass a nursing home quite often and on a warm day can’t help but notice the men and women lined up on a porch in a row, some sitting in their wheel chairs staring into space. Occasionally one or two of them will have a visitor, but not often. I always wonder what they are thinking and I believe the ones who have lost their memories are lucky. It seems similar to how our eye site seems to decline so we don’t have to see all the imperfections we have accumulated that are as clear as the nose on our face,
yet thankfully our nose on our face is not all the clear to us as we age.
Nursing homes seem like the last stop on the train before getting off and going to our final destination. Some residents reside there because they no longer have any family and are unable to care for themselves. Others are placed in the home because their loved ones were unable to properly meet their needs.
The work involved and the commitment this type of special care requires plus the loss of freedom is sometimes overwhelming. The job necessitates around the clock supervision.
It impacts every member of the family
and changes the dynamics of all the other relationships in the household.
I have a friend who quit her high profile, well paid job in order to stay at home and care for her Mom. The only relief she receives is when one of her brothers occasionally watches their mother to give his sister a bit of free time, yet it’s really never enough. The other siblings live out of town. The women who gave birth to them,
has no memory of their lifetime together.
She is very difficult, never satisfied, and is really quite cranky
and cannot do a single thing for herself. Her devoted daughter bathes her, washes her hair, changes her when she soils herself and attends to all her medical needs.
It’s a job that requires she be on call 24 hours a day.
Not too many people are willing to put their lives on hold and
these kind souls should be admired for their devotion.
It must be heartbreaking to admit you simply can no longer do the job and are forced to place a parent in a nursing home.
The day these elderly individuals cross that threshold,
everyone knows they are never going back to their old lives
that knowledge alone must be extremely depressing.
Years ago, when my children were little, my husband had an aunt in her 90’s who lived in a fairly nice facility. Lil never had children and her husband had passed away over 20 years prior to her move.
She was as healthy as a horse,
as that saying goes,
why do people say that?
Are horses all that healthy?
I digress.
We started visiting her once a week and at first my kids were a little fearful of the older crowd but soon warmed up to them. All the residents seemed to enjoy seeing children roaming the halls and delighted in having them join them for a meal. Like I said, Aunt Lil was in great physical condition but her memory was fading. Each week we brought along a little something like chocolate or flowers anything to brighten her room. The special drawings the kids made especially for her seemed to be her favorite. We would make a big deal out of asking her where she wanted us to hang them. Occasionally we would notice a lost soul or two sitting all alone in the hall so they would bring pictures for each one of them. One time the troops bought Aunt Lil a lottery ticket. The kids eagerly helped her scratch off the dark spots. To our amazement we thought she won $1,000. You could hear the cheering a block away. We had never seen Lil so happy and excited. After piling in the van on our way to collect the loot, we realized we had made a mistake, and my little artists felt so sad for poor Aunt Lil, but I reassured them that it didn’t matter, she had a short term memory. From then on we made sure to bring her a new one every week and each and every time
she lit up like a Christmas Tree when we told her she had won.
It was interesting to note, that some members of the nursing care facility seemed to be having the time of their life. They played bingo and all sorts of board games and had mini versions of a workout and the women had access to a beautician.
The men had it pretty good, the odds were definitely stacked in their favor.
There were at least 5 ladies to every man.
The male population never wanted for companionship if they so desired.
It was the quiet ones that broke my heart, the ones that never had a single visitor. They just existed, with no real expressions on their faces, no show of emotions, but I knew they had to be sad. If ever anyone has any extra candy or goodies on hand, a great idea would be to drop it off at your nearest facility. Board games and magazines are also welcome.
The best thing anyone could do is volunteer your time like my friend, cogitator.
You have no idea what a little attention can do for a person.
There is a nursing home within walking distance to me and whenever I take my dogs for a walk, if someone is sitting outside, I stop. Everyone makes such a fuss over Max and Molly. Animals work miracles, they seem to snap some individuals out of that dark place and bring them such joy. I met a lady while at the vet whose dogs had been trained to visit the sick and the elderly. I think I should look into that….even though my pups can’t draw pictures, wagging their tails seems to provide just as much enjoyment.
My mother and her sister said I would be cursed for the rest of my life and probably burn in hell if I ever put either of them in a nursing home. My Dad doesn’t waste his time
even thinking about things like that…but that’s another story.
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Posted by roe on 2009-05-01 10:59:52 | Rating: | Views: 205
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