The Joy Ride that led to a Journey
This past summer my son
Worked for a car dealership on the North Side of Chicago
Located near his college campus
He put in long hours including every Saturday
I’m sure he is glad to be back at Loyola University
About to enter his junior year
It’s much easier than selling cars
Yet
He certainly acquired a lot of valuable
Life lessons
Impossible to learn in a classroom
Not only did he receive top notched training
He realized he had a natural ability for sales
Selling more cars than anyone in the month of July

Since I was in the market for a new buggy
I strolled into the dealership
recently
And asked my son

In his professional opinion
Which vehicle he thought
Might be best suited for me

He led me to the middle of the showroom floor
to a fully loaded
Dodge Journey
Then proudly opened the door

As I took a gander inside
He began pointing out quite a number of unique features
One of which was a cooler in the floor of the backseat
Yeah a cooler!
I was impressed
Perfect for doggie bags that spoil before you get home
Or the gallon of milk you pick up before you get the kids

And while we are on the subject of cool
We all know water bottles heat up when the temperature rises in the summer
And who wants to drink warm water on a hot day?
Well
This baby has a spot in the glove compartment
To place the hot bottle
All you have to do is turn a pink dial and the air conditioning
Is directed towards the space and cools your beverage of choice
Now how cool is that!
The car must have been designed for a very thirsty family
There are cup holders everywhere!
It has three rows of seats and a little bridge
Holding additional cup holders
That Descends if needed
separating the seats in the second row

And there’s more
storage is provided under the front passenger seat
for those purchases you would rather keep in the car until the coast is clear
and
the hidden compartment might also be used to store your purse
Or other valuables

Booster seats pop out of nowhere and pop right back in place
Without a trace
Even though I am not ready to be a gram
I still think it’s a clever idea

And thats not all
There is a mirror in the front and center above the dashboard
Not to be confused with the rear view mirror
and believe it or not
Its only purpose
is to enable the driver to make eye contact with the passengers
yeah
great for chit chatting
Unbelievable!

Where was this thing when the kids were little and I had no idea who started the fight?

In addition
When you put the car in reverse
a hidden camera guides you
by
projecting the area behind you
on the navigation screen
in front of you

perfect
for my poor sore neck

I did not need to see anymore
I turned to my handsome salesman and nodded
“OK, this is the one! I’ll take it!”

“Huh?” He said
“Don’t you even want to see another?
or
drive this one first?”

“nope”

I really did not see the need
But he insisted
So he grabbed the keys or should I say fob
Another story


and we cruised the neighborhood
It was more of a joy ride
than a test drive just hanging out and spending time with my son

Although his expert training automatically kicked into place
 now that I was his customer

he was going to give me the whole 9 yards
After he commented on the smooth ride
He talked about the “feel” of the car
Truthfully
I really don’t care about things like that

It’s my belief
That people say
“Oh, What a smooth ride!”
Just to make small talk

Then he asked me what I liked best about the car
I replied
“the color”
then
sensing his disappointment
with my brief answer
I knew I needed to come up with an additional reason
So
Just to make him happy
I included
“I really love the smell”
“OK, it was the smell and the color that were the deciding factors?” he said.

“And the cooler,” I added
“Yeah, the smell, the color and the cooler!”

He was a bit flabbergasted by my logic
And snap decision making


Normally
He informed me
It was at this particular moment
In time
when the customer either falls in love with the automobile
or not
I told him
In my particular case
it must have been
love at first sight


then while all the other prospective buyers were getting a feel for the car
the salesman would try to get to know his client and his identify his needs

Therefore
I suggested
Just for the heck of it
That he pretend like I was a perfect stranger
“Go ahead!” I said
“Have at it!”
And
Since he did not think I was serious
I told him I’d start things off
“So Mam” I said
“You say you have four kids ages 15 to 25?
Wow, you look way too young to have kids that old!”
I figured flattery would get him everywhere,
especially with me

By the time we pulled back into the dealership
I was one satisfied customer
He had totally won me over by his expert salesmanship
Accompanied by all my own compliments
At that moment
I was more than ready
to clear out my tired old model
and
move into my new luxury digs

there was only one small challenge facing me
and my super salesman
and it could have been a deal breaker
this particular Journey was not going to be an easy one
the impressive suv seemed much more complicated than my trade-in

take for example
the ignition system!
It is keyless
able to start
By pushing a button
Before you even climb inside
Oh boy
I told him
that sort of scares me

It could get me into big trouble

Plus
I have never trusted cars with automatic locks
It appears as if I have OCD where car doors and their locks are concerned
I never close the door
When the keys are inside
I just don’t trust that feature either
Those automatic locks drive me crazy
Same goes for the lights

they tell you they will turn off by themselves
I have to see it happen with my own eyes
Only then will I have peace of mind
And OMG
Everything in and around the dashboard
called the instrument cluster
Resembled the cockpit of an airplane
There was so much going on

My son knew he needed to instill confidence in my ability
to be able to turn the ignition on and put the vehicle in drive
Or I was going to drive away in my old car
and he was going to lose his commission

The salesman of the month
fiddled with a few buttons and the next thing I knew
My car was talking to me
Telling me where to go
Now I certainly did not need that
Although
Just then an amazing thing happened
My daughter called
And her voice filled the entire interior
Of this modern marvel of machinery
It resembled surround sound
And I wasn’t even touching my phone

I still have not figured out the phone thing yet
The other day my dad was on the line and I told him I had to go
And I heard him talking
inside of my car as I walked away
I digress

My son dutifully tried to set up the voice activated phone book
But it was just too much for me
for one day
I had passed
Information Overload

After the necessary paperwork was completed as well as the transfer of old to new
And promising to read the manual

I drove out of the lot
Of
Napletons Northwestern Chrysler
Napletown.com
One happy and satisfied customer

Oh
I was told my innovative car has
the capability to power a small applicance?
and
A navigation system that will give me up to the minute traffic repots
plus the ability to plug in my I phone and I pod and mp3 player
If I had any of those devices
Which I don’t
I digress
Seeing as though I have not read the manual for the last three cars
I have owned
 at this point in time
I highly doubt Im going to get around to this one

Granted
I know this automobile has a million bells and whisles
And is able to do amazing things

I would be thrilled if I could just figure out
How to turn the air conditioning off
And find a radio station
I don’t even care that satellite radio is provided for my listening pleasure
I’m just tired of humming
There are about 98 icons or symbols telling me various things

I’ve decided 
 to ask my son to come over next weekend
And explain a couple of the basics
I really need his expertise
And it’s a good excuse to see him again

Life is a Journey
And so is my car
Never one to
dodge
an opportunity to spend time with my son
I am looking forward to many more
joy rides
 together
Oh yeah
Did you know it was illegal to move a vin?
Do you even know what and where a vin is located?

Trust me people
Just don’t move it!
That’s another story