Self-respect is a term that cannot be described in one or two sentences. Not everyone in the world is going to have the same idea of what self-respect is or agree on the same definition. In other words, it is not just another dictionary term. For me, I believe self-respect is treating yourself the same way you would treat a lover or a best friend, just like the golden rule. It has taken me a long time to gain some respect for myself but I had to understand myself as I grew before that could happen. For most people it takes awhile to gain their own personal knowledge of this. So what exactly is self-respect?
           This thing we call self-respect is more multidimensional than people may think. It is not just a word we use such as “phone” or “water bottle” it is more of an idea. One example of what self-respect is not would be all the stories that cover the gossip magazines about celebrities. Throughout these magazines you can find dirty details about the personal lives of many peoples’ idols, some of which show little respect for themselves and their reputations. An example of a well-known celebrity gossip story is about the infamous Britney Spears. Over the years she has become one of the world’s biggest pop stars and after the climax of her career she has lost most, if not all, respect for herself, her family, and her life in general.
          An example of this disrespect for herself, Britney Spears has been caught using drugs, sleeping with many different men, and neglecting to care for her own children. Now if you think of how you care for your best friend, your lover, your children, or anyone important in your life, would you honestly approve of these actions? I wouldn’t think so. I think of self-respect like I think of the golden rule. If you wouldn’t want your children or your best friend doing it, then why get yourself involved? Treat yourself the way you would treat others.
          Another example of the media portraying disrespect for yourself is what you can find in your own neighborhood. Suppose you are walking down the hallway of your local mall. Walk past Abercrombie and Fitch or Victoria’s Secret and you can find young teenagers wearing clothing that leaves little for the imagination. Often I will watch television talk shows such as Dr. Phil, The Maury Show, or Jerry Springer and on many of these shows you will find stories of twelve year old girls sleeping with older men, or parents of prostitutes, and even young women battling anorexia to look as thin as the models in fashion magazines. Many of these are examples of what self-respect is not. Of course in today’s society you will find many stresses in your life, but many people have enough self-respect to find ways to deal with their stress instead of turning to demeaning sexual behavior, using drugs, or ending up in prison.
          A good example of someone with self-respect would be my boyfriend, Joey. Despite growing up with 6 other siblings and a poor family and after being incarcerated and going through rehab several times, he has finally gotten his life together. He realizes that he cannot reach his goal the fast way by doing disrespectful things to himself and others. Now he has begun working full time and even found federal grant money to go to college, something he never imagined himself accomplishing. Joey has begun to think realistically and has a new found respect for him self and others. He respects himself enough now never to put himself in a situation that would get him in trouble again and has turned his life around completely.
          As I mentioned earlier it took me awhile to gain an understanding of respect for myself, also. A few things had to happen before I could reach this personal idea of respect for myself. After going through a number of parasitic relationships with friends and boyfriends, I finally set some standards for myself. I respected myself enough not to become friends with people who were only interested in bringing me down. I also had respect for myself not to end up with a guy who would only hurt me like others in the past. Just like Joey, I also have a new found respect for myself not to put myself in situations that will only hurt me and get me into trouble.
          Self-respect is something that differs from every person. You have to grow to find your own personal idea of what it is to you and whether you respect yourself or not. Just like the golden rule in treating others the way you would like to be treated, treat yourself the way you treat those that are important in your life. Hopefully girls like Britney Spears and those who see her as a role model for themselves will no longer sleep with many men or do drugs and finally gain some respect for themselves and their bodies. I also hope that many of the young people in today’s world realize that it is not about what brand of jeans you wear or how much money you have, because in the end when those around you run out of money or no one wants to party with you, you will only have yourself to rely on and trust.
          So what is self-respect exactly? That is something that each person has to think about and decide for them selves. Luckily people like Joey and I have reached a point in our lives where we respect ourselves enough not to rely on material things and rely on ourselves, because in the end that’s all you have, is yourself. I believe if you respect yourself enough never to end up in a friendship or relationship with someone who will bring you down or use you for what you have, then you will be able to have long lasting relationships and friendships that actually mean more than what you have in your bank account or in your driveway. If you respect yourself enough not to end up in these horrible situations you won’t ever have to be alone or rely on yourself. Self-respect is more than just a word in the dictionary it’s an idea that can affect all aspects of your life and your state of mind. Think of what self-respect is to you and how you use it in your life to make yourself and those around you better because for Joey and I it has made a world of difference in our lives.