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I met him when I was seventeen. It was magical for me the first time I saw him I was in love. He was so handsome. He stood six three, brown hair, the biggest brown eyes I had ever seen, and his ears were pierced. I am a sucker for piercings. Conversation started slow he knew I liked him but he wasn't sure about me. He would always tell me later in our relationship he thought I was weird when we first met. Our relationship in the beginning was real hard. He was still in love with his ex and I was totally in love with him. Time went on and he loved me back. Sometimes there is one defining moment where you know something is real. He walked up to me grabed my hand and kissed me. For him this was huge. I knew at this point he wanted to be with me. After this we moved to his home town in Logan, Utah. We were just young stupid kids neither one of us had a high school diploma or a job. It was a risk we were willing to make. We both got jobs and we made it. As many relationships do we had many trials and challenges of our love. The doctors told us we wouldn't be able to have children. This was hard for both of us, we both wanted a family of our own so bad. I think mostly to see if we could raise a family better than our broken families. Drugs were his biggest challenge and mine was other men. Horrible I know. I never cheated, even though many temptations were available to me. It was strange right after our wedding in September of 2006 we drifted so far apart. It was as if we had given up on eachother. I should never have given up on him. Maybe he would still be here? The drug use was getting worse and I had yet another guy friend that I seriously concidered having an affair with. The summer of 2007 it all came crashing to an end. Right before it happened it was like he knew it was almost over for him and needed to make everything right. He was doing things he hadn't done in years. He put his wedding ring on and said "I am going to wear this from now on." Strange he had, had the ring for 2 years why now? I should have known. Another thing that is so strange to me now is he would always say I have been having premonitions that I will by dying soon. Of coure I would just tell him to shut up that, that would never happen. He was very intuative, I should have listened. So one weekend in July we took a trip to my mothers in Cedar City, Utah. Little did I know I would be saying good bye to my life as I knew it then. The weekend was fun we hung out at my moms with even my dad they are divorced but they hang out from time to time. We played cards and drank not me at the time I was totally against anything like that. He only left my sight for a minute, where did he get the pills? It was late so we went to bed. The last thing he said to me was "I want to go to school because I want to take care of you." I never went to sleep that night. I was just laying there thinking, I was facing away from him. When I rolled over it was all over. I watched in horror as the blood came from out of his mouth and nose. He was blue! I knew enough about the human body to know what was going on. I ran out of the room and said "daddy I think something is wrong with Dustin." I called 911 I could only stay on the line for a minute I was freaking out to bad. When we arrived at the hospital they came up and said we are sorry he didn't make it. It is strange how you hold on the hope until the last second. I knew he was dead but yet I was praying for a miracle he would start breathing again. I just kept thinking he is only 21 it isn't possible. I am only 20 we are too young. After that everything went real quick my family and I went back to Logan to move me out of my house and on Saturday he was laid to rest. It was the weirdest thing how life can be so normal and then in a matter of minutes everything is gone. Our time together was so short 4 years is all. Its like what do I do now? I am not even sure the answer to that question.
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Posted by rives4ever on 2007-12-06 16:20:44 | Rating: | Views: 194
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rives I'm so so sorry to read about your lost. Your are so young to have to go through something like that. I couldn't even put myself in your shoes. Keep your spirt alive hun.
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Posted by LadiLucifer
on 2007-12-26 10:01:12
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